Holy Shit! I’m Naked!?

by Cookie


Have you ever noticed how UN-self aware small children are?

For reals, my 17 month old daughter won’t give it a second thought to race from her bedroom naked and carrying a bucket only to stop at the top of the stairs, peer into the living room where I’m trying to educate someone else’s child, and babble at the top of her lungs to us.  The inflection in her voice makes it sound really important despite it being utter gibberish.  We all laugh and think she’s cute, despite the fact that she’ll probably be in therapy for many years as an adult when she finds out how many of my students saw her naked as a child.

But what if my husband did the same thing?  It wouldn’t be cute, appropriate or acceptable in any way.  What if she was 10?  Or 5?  At what age do kids suddenly eat the fruit from the garden of Eden and realize HOLY SHIT, I’M NAKED?  And then when do they start caring about that?

My husband and I have had the conversation about when we stop being naked in front of our child, and we haven’t come up with the answer.  Because here’s the thing.  We’re AMATEURS.  We have no fricking clue as to what we’re doing most of the time.

I mean, she’s starting to realize there are different parts on us then her.  She has a sudden fascination with my boobs ( which she had no interest in when it was time to breastfeed) and has pointed and Daddy’s stuff in the bathtub and asked “what is that?” but when does she realize that private parts are private?  And whose job is it to explain about that?  She doesn’t go to school yet so I guess I can’t stick it on them ( that’s a whole other blog topic).

Grandma?  Aunty J?  Anyone?

And for the record, despite having studied biology and anatomy at one point, I am terrified of real words for body parts.  So my little monster will probably refer to her bits with inappropriate terms such as box, junk, and tits.  Until she goes to medical school and learns the real words.