Shut Up And Eat

by Cookie


I read an article yesterday about how to convince your picky eater to eat.   Huh?  Is that a thing now?  Kids don’t like to eat?

Not in this house.  My tiny little 15th percentile for weight daughter has a voracious appetite.  She eats like a bloody goblin.  Anything and everything, constantly.

So you could imagine my reaction when this woman wrote in and described how she cuts the sandwiches into mouse shapes and makes ladybugs out of apples and cheese.  I shit you not.  I wanted to reach into the magazine, shake this woman and scream at her “where do you find time for this kind of bullshit?”. Because that will be the day I ever start fucking around with my kid’s food like that.  Ever.

Ok. So I get it.  There are going to be certain things your child likes to eat over others, and they are usually the first things to disappear off the highchair tray.  For my Monster, it’s tomatoes and meatballs.  And I’ll admit that there are times I catch her feeding her food to the dogs if she’s full, or sick of something or doesn’t particularly like it.  But I’m not gonna build the fucking pyramids out of french toast for her to convince her it’s fun to eat.  Christ.

The farthest I go is to put some Elmo on the IPad and shove a couple pieces in her mouth while she’s distracted.  And really only if I’m in a hurry and she’s farting around.

So here’s my giant opinion of the day.  Don’t cater so much to your kids.  If they don’t want to eat what’s on their plate they can bloody well go hungry.  I have enough faith in my child to know she is not stupid enough to starve herself to death.  When she’s hungry, she’ll eat.  And I hope that in the process she’ll appreciate having 3 meals a day, where so many children go without.  She’ll appreciate having busy parents who still take note of the things she likes and provide them for her where possible, but within reason.

And maybe, when she’s a grown up, she’ll appreciate the lesson that not everything revolves around her.

Except my love for her.  But she’s still gonna eat what’s on her goddamn plate whether it’s arranged in a happy face or not.