For The Boys

by Cookie

Anybody out there a professional sports fan?  Yeah, I thought so.  Anyway, here is some food for thought.

Sports sure have a lot of sexual and homosexual inuendos, don’t they?  I’m not sure I need to say much about the pretty boys of soccer, do I?  Awkward boners anybody?


But let’s get to the real meat of the program, kids.  Has anybody listened, I mean really listened to football announcers?  Yesterday while watching Sunday Night Football one of the teams fumbled the ball.  Is there any fucking reason the announcer couldn’t say “Looks like San Fransisco fumbled the ball, too bad”  instead of  ” looks like it just squirted out of him” ?  And he said it like 3 times.  I almost pissed myself.

How about Tight Ends?  Who the hell came up with that term and whose ass inspired him to do so?

Sometimes, after a couple of bevvies, I can hardly contain my giddy laughter when Troy Aikman starts talking about looking for deep penetration while gazing longingly into Joe Buck’s eyes.  if those two turn out to be a couple, my money is on Troy for being the top.  For sure.

And my personal favorite ” busting up the A gap”. For Christ’s sake, it’s like a gay porn play by play.

Maybe the stereotype of football players only thinking about the game, beer and sex is pretty much on the mark.  And if all you do is play, eat and hang out naked in locker rooms with other men that look like they do, maybe it starts to become appealing.  Or maybe they don’t realize how their comments come across.  Or maybe they’re all gay.

Not that it matters really, but I’m just sayin.