Safety In Numbers

by Cookie

Dana Fradon

Oh kiddies.  Last Friday I talked about Attachment Parenting in an effort to stir the pot a little and make us all think about the parenting choices we make.  I was sort of expecting a passionate response to some of the things I disagreed with, but all was quiet.

Until last night.  Talk about a delayed reaction.  I thought for a second I had been Freshly Pressed.  Alas, no.  Someone must have shared my link a lot on Facebook, because all of a sudden I was the most popular, (or unpopular) girl around.

Anyway, I was happy, because obviously the things I had to say made some people reevaluate, or become more determined in their choices, or pissed them right off.

I did receive a negative comment from someone about the article, but I’m not writing this entry to validate what I originally said, or berate that person for their opinion, or to defend my self in any way.  The truth is I don’t feel the need to defend myself because I am secure in my choices, and I don’t need everyone to see my side in order to respect theirs.

Instead, I’m going to write about crusades.  I’m not fucking joking.  I hope there are no history buffs in my audience, because then you will find me horribly inaccurate and kinda vague.

While I was chatting with Husband this morning, he told me that when people react hotly to something, it is because of their own insecurity of their beliefs.  (Disclaimer:  I am now talking about people in general)  Oh my God.  It’s like him and I have shared our seed and now our brains are fused.  Go on, I urged.  Think about the crusades…..he went on.  Oh my God.  I totally just was!

During the crusades, Christians decided that spreading the good word including invading other countries and giving you two choices:  Believe what I do or die.  Because the more people that believe what you do, the more secure you can be in knowing your beliefs are true.  Right?

Whatever.  Centuries later, nothing much has changed.  Religious wars still rage on.  We still persecute others for believing something different.  Or looking different. Or fucking someone different.  Because if everyone did it your way, you know your way is right.

But what I believe doesn’t change what you believe, unless something I say makes you think hard enough to change your mind.  Or vice versa.

This doesn’t mean don’t feel passionate.  It doesn’t mean don’t stand up for what you believe in.  It doesn’t mean allow others to be persecuted and stand by idly.  It means don’t be a crusader.  Don’t feel the need to defend something that doesn’t need defending.  Don’t bully other people into sharing your beliefs.  Having numbers on your side doesn’t make it so.  Feel confident in the choices you make because they are the right choices for you.

Know in your heart, that on any given day you are doing the very best you can.  And that’s good enough.