What’s Yours is MIne

by Cookie


While I was driving home from campus the other day, I was listening to another enthralling episode of “the Current” on CBC radio.  To be honest, I actually find the show quite interesting from time to time.  Anyway, last week there was this guy on ( I never caught his name)  who was researching behaviour in small children.

And guess what he discovered?  Children are selfish, selfish, selfish.  To the point that they would rather have less themselves than risk someone else having more than them.  So for example, if you offer a child a choice between them  A.having a candy and their friend having a candy, or B. them having a candy and their friend not having a candy, they will choose B.

AND if you offer them a choice between A. Them having a candy and their friend having a candy, or B. them having two candies and their friend having 3 candies, they will choose A. Can you believe it?

So that settles it.  Children are devils in disguise, right?  Well, not really.  Or more accurately, not all the time.

I mean, my daughter comes over all the time and shares what she has with me.  Who doesn’t want a lick of her half eaten sucker, right?  Get in line, because I have made eating half chewed toddler food into a meal on more than one occasion.

But I also see how difficult it is for her to share other things.  The things she really covets.  Like the xylophone.  At her weekly music class, the children are expected to share the instruments.  In a lot of baby music classes I think they all get one to themselves, but in Baby Suzuki, learning to take turns is actually part of the curriculum.  And the learning curve is steep, let me tell you.

Every week, the light on the Destroyer’s face shines brighter than any star as the giant xylophone approaches  Then she gets to play it and Oh my God, the angels sing for her.

And then her turn is over.

And the little devil throws herself on the ground and sobs.  And then she gets a hold of herself, marches up to the child now holding her beloved mallets, and wrestles them away.  Screeching and half crying she takes a moment to beat the other child with it, and then turns back to her Beloved.  I swear, it’s like watching Gollum go for the fucking ring.  That’s how bad she wants it.  And she cannot bear for anyone else to have it.

I swear that she would rather break the fucking thing rather than let another child have a turn on it.

So.  Is it evil in her heart?  Or are kids just growing up believing that the world does and should revolve around them?  Yes.  Why do children feel threatened by someone else having a candy or a turn?  Is it a subconscious fear of not being special?  Yes.  Are kids little ashholes sometimes?  Yes.

But totally adorable and easy to love little assholes.  I will gladly give up my candy if it makes her happy.