Fuck You, Meryl Streep
The other day I watched Kramer vs. Kramer. I’ve seen it before, in parts, but this was the first time I sat down and actually watched it in its entirety. It really was a great movie. You know how I’m sure of that? Because I kinda hate Meryl Streep right now.
You all must have seen it. Or at least know the jist of it: Traditional family in the 1970’s where the husband works too much to notice that his wife is unhappy. She doesn’t (or can’t) tell him until she announces she’s leaving him. And off she goes. For 15 months. To California. The movie continues, telling the story of this father who tries to fill the roles of both parents and provide for his son. The development of their relationship is a touching thing to watch.
Then the bitch comes back and wants the kid. A nasty court battle ensues and custody is awarded to her. At the end she realizes that’s bullshit and that the child is better off with his dad.
What in blue hell? I’ll tell you why this made me so angry. I don’t give a shit how pissed you are at your spouse or how lost you feel. I’ve got a real good compass for you, you bitch. It’s called your child.
Need to go to California to “find yourself” ? You should have called me, I’ll tell you exactly where you are. You are in the throes of motherhood. You are in charge of someone else’s life. So sorry if you find that inconvenient.
So Dad is such a distant jackass who can’t even pay you enough attention, let’s throw a 5 year old at him. Cause that’s way less work.
Now, I know that this movies is 30 years old, but the current news talks about child custody battles all the time. Whether it’s between parents that are splitting or children that are in the Child and Family Services system. The courts still seem to favor the mother. Because why? Because tits make you a better parent? I’ve got news for you, your tits are only good for the first year or so and even then you can get by without them.
Because having sex and giving birth automatically make you a better parent? I forgot having a vagina is a qualification.
NO. Nature hopefully helps you along, but clearly, instincts will not guide you through everything.
We have an inquiry going on in Manitoba right now about a little girl who was murdered by her mother and boyfriend and no one even knew about it for like 9 months. The child had been in and out of foster care. The parents were very obviously not interested in caring for or loving this child and this child suffered for 5 years, and then died a horrible death.
Because someone has decided that the best place for a child is with the mother.
But what they need to define is the word “mother”.
What I’ve learned since knowing that I am adopted and since having my own child, is that family has nothing to do with blood. It has to do with love and selflessness. Being a mother is the most selfless thing in the world, you don’t get time to find yourself. You get a short time to find a way to make your child’s life better.
Family are people who take time to make your life better without expecting things in return. They love you, protect you, worry for you, and want the best for you. They help you make the right choices and give you shit when you fuck up. They say, “I told you so” so that you remember to learn the lesson.
Being a mother has nothing to do with giving birth or having tits. It has to do with putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own for just about ever.
So yeah. Fuck you, Meryl Streep.