The Attempted Blackmail of Cookie

by Cookie

Yesterday we went to the mall.  We met an old friend and her little poppets for an Easter Bunny date and then some lunch.

But it can’t ever be that simple.  It’s always an adventure with the Destroyer and a vat full of hormones ready to overflow at any second.

The Easter Bunny is a great idea, but let’s put this into the Destroyer’s perspective.  It’s a 6 foot fucking rabbit that sits there and points at you.  In a “I’m going to eat you” kind of way.  We ate his chocolate, but she was having nothing to do with that thing.  Not this side of ever.  Sigh.

We had actually arrived a little early, so we did a little shopping in the meantime.  What I want to know after my time at the mall yesterday, is are there any stores there that actually want me to spend my money there?  Does anybody actually understand how to keep the consumer happy?  Or how to target their audience appropriately?

And fucking rights I’m going to name names.  If you want to stand by your bullshit policies, then I’m going to stand by my fucking opinion.   Check the title of this blog, bitches.

So I go into this store called Please Mum.  As usual, there is not one other person in this store.  I don’t know how they stay in business, actually.  There is nothing spectacular about their limited inventory, but when they have sales, they are usually quite good.  So I go in there from time to time looking for deals on things like outerwear.  Sure enough, they have giant signs everywhere saying 50% off.   The clerk/manager tells me everything is 40-50% in the whole store.

Sweet.  The Destroyer needs some rubber boots.  Assuming the snow fucking melts, that is.  Anyway, we try some on, and they are 40% off the lowest price.  She rings me up and they come to about 15$.  Excellent.

So I whip out my card and as she takes it to swipe the “old fashioned” way on the till, she proceeds to ask for my name.  Sigh.  I seriously hate this game.  I just want to buy my shit and be left alone.  I don’t want your e-flyers, or coupons.  Please just fucking leave me alone.  She assures me it’s not for that, she just wants to check the database for me.  Whatever.  I give her my first name.

Then she continues to ask for my phone number etc. I remind her again that I don’t want to share my personal information, especially considering she has my bank card in her hand still.

“Then I can’t give you the sale price”.  Pardon the fuck out of me?

“Let me get this straight”  I said.  “You want me to sell you my personal information for a 40% discount? I don’t fucking think so.”  And she argued with me about it.  Until I told her my phone number was 123-456-7890.  And my address is 1 Go Fuck Yourself Avenue.

This fucking store is actually trying to blackmail its’ patrons into giving out their info.  What ever happened to “thank you, come again”? I asked for her district manager’s email address.  I may just send them a link to my post today.  Then I won’t have to explain my discontent for a third time.

The funny thing is, not 10 minutes later I was at The Childrens’s Place, and when I went to pay, they asked for my phone number there.  And I said ” I prefer not to give out my personal information”.  And the clerk said “no problem”.  Because it should be my choice, and they understand that.

So which store will see repeat business from me?  I’ll give you one guess, and if you get it wrong I’m going to beat you over the head with the Destroyer’s rubber boots.

This whole thing just has me shaking my head.

I don’t give a shit what a store’s policies are.  If you are going to advertise 50% off, then everybody gets 50% off.  “It says right on the sign for members only”  Oh.  Super.  OK then.  Maybe next week’s signs will say 50% off and in tiny print for white people with no children.  Or for people who own lizards.  Or for Children of the Corn only.

In this day of identity theft, I take very good care of when and where I give my personal information to, and regardless of what the store is trying to do for itself, this disclosure should always be at the discretion of the consumer.

And besides that, I don’t know what fucking moron is running that store,  but the worst thing to do for business is to piss of your customers.  Guess how many people I’ve told about this?

And guess how often I’ll be going back.  Idiots.

Someone please help me take over the world.  Before it really goes to shit.