Hot On The Titties Friday: Breastfeeding Edition

by Cookie

findingalisa.blogspot.com

findingalisa.blogspot.com

I thought a little longer than usual about writing this post, because sometimes women are crazy.  When a woman firmly believes in something, you’d better get the hell out of her way or at least to pretend to agree.  We are even more insane when it comes to our beliefs and/or opinions when it comes to raising our children.

But it is Hot on the Titties Friday, and this post is about tits.  So I figured what the hell.

Ok.  So you know how it’s ok to celebrate black history month, or have rallies for Aboriginal rights, but if you turned around and declared April 26 “White People Day”  you would be strung up for being a racist?  Not because you don’t think that other ethnicities deserve the same rights and freedoms and everything that you deserve, but because you feel that being a white person is worth celebrating too?

I kinda feel that way about breastfeeding versus formula feeding.  Like if I am pro-formula, I’m a racist or something.

I know.  You’re probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.  But it’s like this thing, this entity.  We have all these women forming groups and clubs and lactation consultants and holy fuck.  Leave. My. Tits. Alone.

We have become a breastfeeding advocacy army in this generation.  And it’s starting to get on my tits.  Pun intended.

Now.  Before I rant, I want to say this for the record.  I am NOT against breastfeeding.  I love women who happily breastfeed and love it.  I love that the babies are healthy and chubby and content.  I love that women are given a choice to do what they feel is best for them and their child.  And a little part of me is jealous.  Because that is purely Mommy and baby time outside the womb.  It affords you the opportunity to keep your little one to yourself in a way once they are born.  It is a beautiful thing.

What I hate is all these pushy, know it all bitches who look down their nose at you when you are formula feeding your baby.  What I hate is women suddenly become experts on children’s health because they had a baby and now need to tell me all the reasons their child will thrive more than mine will.  Women who push and push and push their opinion on me.  The guilt inducing bitch conversations that make me want to make a tshirt that says “fuck you La Leche” despite all the good work they do.

So.  We all know the benefits of breastfeeding.  There are many.  But you know what?  There are many benefits to formula feeding as well.  And here are some of them, at least from MY experience:

1. I am not the only parent getting up every night all night.  Daddy is on board.  We are all a little saner.

2. I can leave my child for more than an hour or two if I need some human time.  Taking better care of me results in me taking better care of my baby.

3. I know exactly how much food my baby is getting.  I can tell right away if she is not getting enough and address my concerns with her doctor immediately.

4.  Baby slept through the night much sooner than most breastfed babies I know.  File this under sanity too.

5.  Watching the bond between my daughter and my husband be formed earlier was magic.

6.  Latching problems?  Buy a different brand of nipple.

My doctor endorsed my choice.  She said that the most important benefit from breastfeeding was the colostrum and antibodies in the first few days of birth.  Which my daughter got.  She also went on to say that formula is so close nutritionally to breastmilk that I didn’t have to worry.  She also told me not to allow anyone push their opinions on me or to feel bad about my decision.

I will try again to breastfeed with Little Buddy.  I am actually kind of excited too.  But I’m not going to make myself insane over it, and I am not going to feel like a failure if it doesn’t work again or if my milk doesn’t come in.  And I am not going to listen to some fucking cow tell me that my baby’s IQ will be less than her baby’s based on my decision whether to go to formula or not.

Cause guess what?  Fuck you, that’s what.  I’m not going to judge you for your parenting choices unless you try to impose them on me.

Wish my titties luck, but don’t panic.  I always have a back up plan.

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