Locker Room Etiquette: Hot On The Titties Friday

by Cookie

globalnews.ca

globalnews.ca

Get it while it’s hot!

Hot on the Titties Friday.  Everybody’s favorite post of the week.  Today’s topic:  Hockey.

I know.  What the fuck?  I hate hockey.  Maybe I’m a shitty Canadian, but I can’t skate, I can’t play, I don’t know the rules, I find watching it boring, and it goes on forever and ever. 

But you know who I love? Don Cherry.  I. Fucking. Love. Don. Cherry.   He’s an opinionated, ornery bastard who gets it right even when it pisses you off.  I’d go 10 rounds in the sack with him just to listen to him bitch me out and tell me everything I’m doing wrong with my life.  ( Sorry Husband, but you know I would be powerless to the Don.)

Ahhhh.

Ahhhh.

So, when Don’s talking about something, I pay attention.  And this week, he sparked a few fires when he declared that women reporters should not be allowed in the locker room. This of course produced a whole lot of reaction from women in the media, newscasters and chit chat amongst everyday joe hockey fans.

Anyway, I had forgotten all about this controversial statement made by Mr. Cherry until Husband asked me about it over dinner last night.  It was a romantic moment for us because when the conversation turned to hockey I actually engaged him for real rather than my usual generic, humoring responses.  I’m an excellent wife that way.

“So do you think women should be allowed in locker rooms?”  He asked me.   I looked up from my pork chop.  ” No.  I don’t think anybody should be allowed in the locker room.  Unless you are a player, a coach, medical staff or trainer.”

I think he was surprised by my answer, but he decided I was right.  Of course I am.  I’m your wife, pregnant and haven’t had my ice cream yet.  Right by default.

This is also why.  I think a team needs time to debrief and wind down after a game.  They need time to shit, shower and shave before they can speak like human beings in front of a camera.  Give the poor assholes a few minutes to put their false teeth in and look presentable.  And give them some privacy, for crying out loud.

There is no “post-game commentary emergency” that requires interviews to be held by a sweaty , toweled mess of a man with a turtle head poking out.  Give the man a minute.

A locker room is a locker room.  It is a place for team bonding.  It’s a place for nudity.  It’s a place for privacy.   It doesn’t really matter if the reporter is a man or a woman, because the footage will be broadcast on tv anyway.  I mean they’ll edit out any junk that accidentally flashes across the screen but come on.

And what if men were in women’s locker rooms?  HMMM?  You’d be hearing a lot from the peanut gallery on that one I’m sure.  And if I were a woman trying to get my shit together after 3 hours of playing hard sports, the last thing I’d want is some jackass shoving a microphone in my face asking me stupid questions they already know the answers to while my tits are hanging out all over the place.

So as usual I agree with Don Cherry.  But he only got it half right.

Thoughts?

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