Nature Is A Tricky Bitch
by Cookie
rina8.deviantart.com
I don’t know, but I think I might have pushed out my mind when I pushed out my baby. Or maybe it got tangled in the umbilical cord by mistake. Is that a thing? Because I’m not sure if I felt this insane when I had the Destroyer.
I probably did, but Nature is a tricky bitch you see.
She has a way of romanticizing all the parts about childbirth and motherhood as if they were set to a soundtrack and put together like a montage. I know in the logical side of my brain that labour with Buddy was really tough this time, and the recovery was way harder. It was like running a marathon without training for it first. But in my memories of it, I only think of how amazing it all was.
And as I try to remember those first few weeks with Destroyer, I imagine her as this perfect baby who only cried a little in the evening. Unlike the monster that I have birthed now, who pretty much screams unless he is eating or sleeping.
But the truth is that none of the prior statements is true. Destroyer made me cry out of frustration. Buddy is not a monster. And when I have my shit together, he doesn’t scream ALL the time. Just most of it. And even that may be a little melodramatic of me to say.
If he didn’t look so much like me, I may have eaten him by now. But he is just so fucking beautiful that I couldn’t bear not being able to stare at him all day. I guess I’ll have to just be satisfied with nibbling on his toes and smelling his new baby smell.
So anyway, because Nature is such a tricky bitch we continue to procreate and make more babies because they are so adorable and worth it once they are done eating and screaming on a two hour rotation each day. But I am smart, you see. S-M-A-R-T. I am documenting my shitty days so that when I beg Husband to impregnate me for a third time, I can refer to this blog and remind myself that it’s not as sexy as that bitch Nature would have me think it is. And make an educated decision about it.
I love my children. Forever and to the moon and back.
But some days just blow. Some days are really, really hard. Fact.
Skype date with wine anyone?
ihaveanopinionidliketoshare 
Oh sweet girl.. I feel you on every level. Except instead of documenting the shitty days, I’m having my tubes tied.
I wish so hard that we still lived within driving distance. I would be there in a heartbeat. Sometimes to share a bottle of wine, and sometimes to mysteriously disappear with both of your children so that you could enjoy the whole bottle solo.
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I wish that so, so hard. Kisses.
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You know what they say, if you had the tough ones first, there wouldn’t be any second babies!! lol Wish we could sit down with the box ‘o wine and talk and laugh!! I’m jealous you get to smell that new baby smell! Of course I wouldn’t do it all again, but it’s nice to remember it.
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Ooo! Me me. Wine! Me!!!
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With or without a straw?
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Straight from the bottle. Classy posh chick is me 😉
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Congrats on surviving the birth of your second child. You’re already a hero in my eyes… I am sticking to the “one and done” chant unless I go completely bat shit crazy in an alternate universe and somehow convince myself that I want a fragile squishy thing hanging off of me at all times that has to be changed and fed constantly. Oh and sleep, I like sleep better than babies. If I knew how to skype… I would so be there! Because I’m stupid, I’ll drink a bottle tonight in your honor.
PS- people with 3+ kids are mentally insane in my book (which is obviously THE smartest book ever). If you ever need a reminder, hit me up. I tell my pyscho best friend (preggo w/ #3) that she’s pyscho every chance I get.
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I can’t figure out motherhood. My wife can be driven to a screaming fit by the two we have one moment and telling me how very badly we need a third the next.
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hormones make you do really stupid, stupid things sometimes.
The two we have have aged me three years in three weeks. But I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
I wouldn’t mind a nanny though…..
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Oh boo I was under the misconception that the second one is easier!!! I was successfully kidding myself until I read this. Take it back!!! Or share the wine!!!
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Having a boy and girl is God’s way of saying, “you’re welcome” and you should stop having babies right then and there. Unless you’re a polygamist, two is perfect.
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