Two’s Company, Three’s A Crowd
by Cookie
This totally what would happen to us if we tried for a third
mentalfloss.com
I know it’s kinda early to be thinking about this, but we’re already on the subject of “are we done?”. Ridiculous, I know. He’s only been enjoying life on the outside for less than 7 weeks. I haven’t even had much time to adjust to two children driving me up the wall, let alone consider the possibility of adding more.
But I guess the thing is that we aren’t in our twenties. We’re close to the end of our reproductively viable years, so I guess the decision has to be made for reals. Do we close up the factories? Leave it to chance? Wait to see if we win the lottery first?
Here are some points to consider against more:
1. 3 kids means bigger car. Bigger table. Bigger house eventually.
2. 3 kids means we are ALWAYS outnumbered unless we can convince one of our parents to live with us. Grandma?
3. 3 kids means improbable that I will ever fucking sleep through the night again until I am 60. Currently, I’m on pace to sleep at about 50.
4. There is a real probability of multiples. Which means instead of a third child, we’ll end up with seven.
5. Buddy wrecked me. At 9 pounds, it’s like he took every single one of my joints, unhinged them, and they are slowly and painfully putting themselves back together.
6. The baby will probably be 11 pounds. My vagina doesn’t want to go there. Neither does my perineum, if I ever find out where that is.
7. I think Husband doesn’t want any more kids. I’d have to trick him, and I don’t like to be sneaky.
8. I’m not sure I could drink enough alcohol before passing out to really believe it’s a good idea anyway.
9. Can I give birth to a 6 month old with a full set of teeth that’s potty trained so I don’t have to deal with the newborn stage, teething , potty training or anything else that sucks? NO? Dealbreaker.
10. After 35 means greater chance the child is retarded for real. Not just in the cute Destroyer way. But in the real medical way.
Points for more:
1. My hormones are telling me that my womb is empty, and I must fill it.
2. My hormones are telling me that birth is awesome and I want to do it again and again.
3. It’s nice to be fat and eat everything you want and have everyone tell you you’re beautiful anyway.
4. Babies are cute.
5. I’m obviously insane.
Realistically, I think this is it. I’ve even started bagging up my maternity clothes. But there is something in me that keeps telling me no. Don’t decide yet.
Thoughts? Did you? Would you? How many kids did you have, and how did you know when you were done?
ihaveanopinionidliketoshare 
We had the twins first and that was one hell of a way to be initiated into parenthood! I was 30 when we had them and decided we would give us til 35 til we stopped the baby train 100 percent, not because we want more but because if god forbid something happened to one before then, we would have another as we believe kids need siblings!in my mind and heart, no one is missing from our family and I don’t see us any other way!
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I think that being less than 7 weeks from giving birth and turning your body inside out, your mind is playing tricks on you. Wait till he’s 3 months old and see how you’re feeling then 😉 I feel extremely blessed to have never had the baby fever… I can selfishly keep my body all to myself!!
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I agree with all your points for more except the first one, but as you know, we’ve decided to close the factory here.
Truth be told, there are days when more kids sounds like a great idea. But we know that we can’t afford it, and we’re happy with our two.
You, on the other hand, make beautiful precious children and should have jillions.
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haha. jillions. We should seriously all live together and pool our resources. Then we could re-popultate the earth with our awesomeness and not be poor. Or ever alone with our children.
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I’m pretty sure my wife was done at two, so I was shocked when she didn’t take more precautions to ensure that #3 didn’t arrive. G$ is a ROYAL pain in the ass, especially compared to the other two. At two, especially one of each, you’re able to cope. Once you have three, then it’s like why not have 4 or 5 or fucking 7?? If we had more $, honestly, we’d have more. I love babies and these kids are keeping my 40 year old ass younger than I’d be with older kids or no kids at all. If you can afford it, I say go for it, but be prepared, having to eat out as a party of 5 is a big difference than a party of 4.
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Lol Let those hormones settle. But I know lots of people that are happy with three, two, one…parenting is personal. But just know that irish twins are just as much insanity (if not more) than regular twins. 😉
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I was 37 when our daughter was born and I was ready to get snipped immediately. Carmen was only 29 and wanted to wait so we waited. We were careful and tried a number of different birth control methods. We talked a lot about it. I finally convinced her to let me make the appointment when I was 38 and a half. It came down to money, age and retirement. We would have probably waited for a few years to have the 3rd one which would have put me into my early to mid-forties and then I couldn`t retire til 65. Now I can probably retire at 60 because our kids will be in their early to mid twenties (weird saying that). Carmen wasn`t working at that time so money was tight and I was worried about the cost of post secondary education and other assorted costs (we just finished paying $11000 in braces of which half was covered by my health plan). Kids are expensive. We were lucky, too, in that we had a boy first, a girl second and both were very healthy. It made the decision much easier. Carmen loved being pregnant as well and had very uncomplicated deliveries so it was a hard decision. Now she has a job where she can play with babies and then give them back to their parents. Perfect! Good Luck with your decision. It will work out, no matter what.
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Great advice! Thanks Bruce!
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I have 3. And, I debated on that third, but he is a little angel that I can’t get enough of, honestly. Maybe it’s just because I know it’s my last. I’m turning 36 next week, and I just don’t want to be too old to care about parenting when I have another. Besides, the food allergy issues will kill me if I have to go through that one more time. Seriously. One reason why I DID decide on having a third is kind of morbid. I thought, what if something happens to one, then they will be an only child. Weird. Only I would stress about something like that.
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My second child’s birth was so traumatic i gave away all my maternity clothes and all 0-3 month clothes. Then he was such an angel and sooo special that the 3month +clothes stayed and i would happily have more.
It is all so personal.
And before coming to Italy i used to think kids after 37/8 no way. dangerous. I am the youngest mum on the school run. Northern italian mums don’t start popping them out till 40. I feel young and able to have two more here. 😉
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I had four and knew on the fourth I was finished. No debate needed. However my husband to this day would like more! in fact when I told him one of our daughters 22 year old friends was pregnant, he looked at me and so honestly said, ” Any way a baby comes into a house is a good thing”. He just loves babies.
I think if I were you I would wait to decide. After my third I was wondering and my friend said, “You will know when it is the right time to finish”. After my fourth I had no doubt whatsoever and have never changed my mind. It’s a bit early yet to close the door, just in case, but be careful!!!
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Given that i stink at getting pregnant, I’m kind of glad that I don’t have the hormonal drive to make babies. I did love giving birth though!
I do think you need to give it more time before you decide! Also, tricking the husband is probably not such a good idea :p
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