Can’t Wait

by Cookie

THIS moment.

THIS moment.

As I was putting my babies to bed the other night, I started thinking about how our perception of time changes so much as we age.

When we’re little, we always “can’t wait” for things.  Can’t wait for Christmas.  Can’t wait for school to be over.  Can’t wait for tomorrow.

Can’t wait until I’m old enough to………

And then all of a sudden, you are old enough.  You can do whatever you want.  You go to University and all of a sudden no one gives a shit if you skip class in the morning, so you go out on the weekdays.  Why wait?

But you still can’t wait to meet someone.  To get married. To buy a house.  To have babies. And then you get pregnant and you can’t wait for it to be over.  And then it is.

And then you wish time would stand still.

It’s so cliche, isn’t it?  That old saying about how fast the years go once you have kids.  But it really does.

And so all of a sudden instead of feeling like you can’t wait for something, you feel like you can’t keep up with something.  Like all the special moments and events will be gone in an instant if you dare look away.  Like if you blink they’ll be teenagers.  Like if you don’t pay attention you will forget this exact moment when your baby loves you more than anything else in his world.  That exact moment when you’re sitting together in a dark room, and he can barely see your face.  But he knows you’re there and you feel him smile. That moment.

Husband and I were talking about what our “freeze time” would be.  I think he just wants them verbal and then get the freeze ray gun.

My freeze time is every day.  I want to linger in every second with my babies right now.  I want to implant every smile and giggle and meltdown in my brain.  I just want them to stay where they are, because I will miss their innocence once they grow up.

And I can only hope that somewhere along the way, I will be satisfied with “remember when” instead of “right now”  or “can’t wait”.

If anyone ever invents the Time Standing Still Machine, I’ll be your first customer.

Because I never want these days to end.  Except the ones where everybody cries non stop.  We can fast forward those.