Crap News Potpourri
With my hands perpetually full, its hard to write these days. But I’ve had a few things on my mind, thanks to the news:
Let’s play a game. See if you can anticipate my thoughts on the following recent news subjects:
1. A new candy found in a candy store in Gimli, Manitoba: It’s called “Gay-Away” and it mocks exactly what you think it does. Some fucking retard has marketed a pretend pill to cure gayness.
2. Rob Ford. Are we still talking about this asshole? He’s a loser, but you fucking elected him, Toronto. Crack lovers.
3.Kevin Federline is having a sixth child. With who, you say? I have no idea. I’m actually surprised that there is so little going on in the world that this was on msn at all.
4. The sign language interpreter was a fake. I mean come on. Can you say “inside job?”.
5. Kanye West is snubbed by the Grammy’s. Yeah, dude. It’s obviously a race thing.
6. We’ve had a continent wide snowstorm for like a week now. it’s -30C here in Manitoba. Global warming is an elusive bitch.
7. Canada Post doesn’t want to deliver mail to our doors anymore. Can you spell UPS?
8. Australia allows gay marriage. Oh, wait 5 days…..just kidding.
9. Jenny McCarthy was a mistake to hire on “The View”. What’s that? Nobody else wants to hear a fear-mongering- anti-vaccine-ex-Playmate talk politics either?
So seeing as I am too knackered these days to engage a full on rant, I invite and encourage you all to do it for me. Pick a topic from 1-9 and go for broke. Tomorrow is Hot on the Titties Friday, after all.