10 Things That Could Make Me Give Up Sex For A Year

by Cookie

So I was farting around on msn.ca this morning, and came across this lovely short article about how a large amount of women would give up sex for a year if it increased their well-being.

And I thought, how is this news?  What kind of researcher would make this, of all things, the focus of their research?  Why didn’t they make it more entertaining?

Because Bitches, ( and no offense Husband) I can almost always be bought if the price is right.  And so, here is my top ten things I would give up sex for a year for:

1.  A few million bucks.  Hell,  one million bucks.  Dollars, that is. Nothing with antlers.

2.  Lifetime unlimited supply of alcohol.  Duh.  One year of celibacy versus a lifetime of free tequila drunk sex?  Giddy up.

3.  A dragon that doesn’t eat goats. (no I’m still not over it…see yesterday’s post.)

4. A potty training magic fairy.

5. A temper tantrum fixing/prevention/diffusing magic fairy.

6. A law against stupidity and assholery among the general public.

7. A full nights sleep where I wake up when I’m not tired any more.  ( See you in 2015)

8. Ok.  I’ll settle for a nap.

9.  Somebody, anybody who will take away Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber and make them stop being a thing.

10.  Just one more Buddy. One more….. as long as # 4 and 5.

 

How about you, Bitches?  What would convince YOU to give up sex for a year?

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