10 Reasons Change Is Hard

by Cookie

If anyone was wondering how my week has gone, let me sum it up by saying change is hard.  After 9 glorious months of having a stay at home Husband, his parental leave expired and he toddled off to work this week.

Now because he works 12 hour rotating shifts, he only works four days at a time, but those four days, plus the commute pretty much leave me as a single parent.  Are the four days off worth it?  Most of the time.  Hopefully this time.

Needless to say, the Destroyer didn’t adapt well to having Daddy gone.  She just about destroyed my will to live.  Or at least to live a sober life.  Let’s just say I’ll likely be visiting the wine store to restock things a little sooner this month than normal.

1. Any potty training progress we had started to make has gone down the toilet.  Except it totally hasn’t.  Because now she refuses to even discuss using it since Daddy went to work.  Diapers forever, dude.

2. She punched me in the eye for putting her on the toilet the other day.  Then she learned a whole bunch of new swear words.

3. She had a complete, colossal, nuclear meltdown when she realized Bestie was here to babysit and not just hang out on Monday.  Thank goodness it was Bestie here babysitting because she supports my choices in bashing my head against a wall, and talked me out of my giant parenting failure.  She’s back to being the bestest, and the goat incident is almost forgiven.

4. She’s learned some new wrestling moves and has been practicing on Buddy.  At least he’ll be a tough little bugger.

5. She’s lost pretty much all of her toys 3 times since Sunday.  And she’s still being an asshole.  You can’t discipline an almost three year old, Bitches.  Nothing works, because she doesn’t give a shit.  She’s weighed the pros and cons, and decided that assholery is worth the empty shelves in her room.

6. I think it’s illegal to be drunk when alone in charge of babies.  Does it count as “alone” if the neighbors are home?

7.  Daddy’s absence has caused the hound to throw up and shit herself from stress.  My life revolves once again around the bodily functions of everyone else.

8.  I showered on Sunday.  That’s still counts as clean, right?

9.  It’s May 16 and it snowed yesterday.  So inside it is again.  Yay life.

10.  I want to mount the person who invented Play Doh.  It saved my life this week.  Seriously.  Did you know it can keep babies and toddlers busy for hours? HOURS.

But we survived, Bitches.  And we will again next week,right?