I just want to say for the record, that I must be getting my period or something. I feel extraordinarily human and filled with feelings and stuff. Also, my Buddy is sick with a fever and a bit of baby barfing, making him extra precious and pathetically adorable.
I spent most of Sunday with my Buddy. It was really the first time we had gone out just me and him to run errands and the first time in a while where I’ve had some time with just him. The Destroyer was next door, which is her preferred place to be, and Daddy was doing all the yard work.
And I gotta say, Bitches, that every time I think I can’t fall any deeper in love with that little guy, I surprise myself. Every little thing he does is filled with joy and simplicity and love. He is just so easy to get a smile out of. He likes to be close, and I like to have him close.
And then I feel so, so sad. I keep thinking how I might not ever get to feel this part with another baby. Because I’m pretty sure I’ll never be loved like this again by anyone ever again. Maybe not even by him at some point. Soon I won’t be the most important part of his day.
He is just growing up so fast, and my heart is dying.
So maybe the reasonable side of my brain is right and we are so very done with making offspring. But my heart, Bitches. It’s not ever gonna shut up about this. I could do this a million times over for these special moments. I’ll complain about being tired and bitchy and poor, but I really love it so much. And every time I look at those smiling little eyes and hear him say momma, I pray to God that he freeze time and never let my Buddy change.
I’m so totally gonna be one of those psycho bitch Mother-In-Laws who never lets any woman near her son, aren’t I?