Hot On The Titties: Judgement Day

by Cookie

 

I try so hard not to judge other parents, Bitches.  I try.  Lord knows I screw things up all the time and have to learn to do better the next day.

But here’s the thing.

The other day, the day after the super irritating doctor’s office mommy incident, we all went to the park.  And there was a new source of “what the hell?” for me to ponder.

This woman was caring for four children  Two were hers, two were not.  The difference in the way she spoke to her own children versus the children whom she was caring for made my jaw drop.  To sum things up quickly, there was nothing but praise for her sons as they roamed around the playground, and nothing but total assholery in the way she interacted with the littlest of the little girls.

This little girl was afraid of bugs, you see.

And sure.  A child’s irrational fear can be difficult.  Frustrating even.  But you know what I found frustrating?

Watching an adult loudly and repeatedly shame, threaten, yell at, and berate a 2 year old child in front of her siblings, friends and strangers for 45 minutes because her fear was inconveniencing this obviously overwhelmed mommy.

Making sure to tell everybody how they were going to have to leave the park and it was all her fault.

Making sure to let her know if she didn’t instantly forget she was afraid of bugs that she would certainly not get to do X,Y and fucking Z that afternoon.

Making sure everyone know how stupid she was because there were obviously no bugs at the park.

So yeah.  I get it.  Sometimes 2 year olds are fucking ridiculous.  Mine is ridiculous at least 10 times every day.  And sometimes I lose my cool.  More than I’m proud to admit.

But I keep thinking, when we’re out in public, we are usually on our best behavior, because we know other people are watching.  We try to control ourselves a little better.  And certainly, we are likely to be more careful with how we talk to someone elses child.

Right?

So I keep thinking, if that’s was her best behavior, what the hell goes on when no one is listening?

And then I thought.  Thank goodness I saw this.  Because if it broke my heart enough to watch a little girl I don’t know be talked to that way, I sure as fuck am going to be even more careful about the way I talk to my Destroyer in those ridiculous moments.

Because making a child that obviously already feels vulnerable fell ashamed just makes it worse, no?

So yeah.  I guess I should really thank this woman.  She made me a better parent.

And I’m sure I do a lot of things that make other people shake their heads.  I know I shouldn’t judge.  But seriously.  I am judging this woman because she chose that behavior.  I am judging her because if the little girl’s parents knew what kind of dialogue happened there, I’m pretty sure they would have some words to exchange.

How would you deal with a similar situation?  I find that most often when I get pissed off is when I have a plan in my head, and the children don’t care.  As soon as I let go of my personal agenda, I feel less stressed.

How about you?

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