Tricyle Riding Fail
I had this super awesome topic that Bestie sent me last week in anticipation of a super rant-y post about it.
But it’s going to have to wait.
Last week I had laryngitis, this week I have an actual cold, and I feel as though my thought processes are delayed and I have regressed intellectually to a point where words with more than four letters would be too much of a challenge due to the subject matter.
So instead, I’m going to write about bike riding today.
What? You think I’m the one riding a bike? Hells no. I would fall off. I am a terrible bike rider. Terrible.
Which stands to reason that I decided to try and teach a Destroyer that had spent most of the day in a “NO Way” and “I wanna do it myself” tantrum to ride and peddle a tricycle.
Seriously, Bitches. You know where this is going.
Problem # 1: She doesn’t understand that her feet need to remain on the peddles.
Problem # 2: She doesn’t understand that the feet move in an alternating fashion. She doesn’t understand what alternating means.
Problem # 3: She wants to do it “ALL BY MYSELF. NO! YOU PUSH. NO! STOP PUSHING ME. NO YOU!”
Problem #4: Spankings aren’t allowed in the middle of the street. Or on bike rides.
Problem # 5: I didn’t bring any alcohol.
Problem #6: I can’t ride a bike and therefore have no real advice.
Oh, eventually we got her going after a good 20 minutes of tears and one, maybe two swear words from me.
“Look Mommy! I’m doing it!” ( as I push her tricycled ass around the block for the 7th time).
Doing what? Giving me grey hairs, babe? You sure are.
Am I doing it wrong, Bitches? Advice?