Hot On The Titties: The Israel-Palestine Conflict Happened On My Deck

by Cookie

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So, Bitches, I’m probably going to offend a whole lot of people today.  Not really intentionally, but this is kind of a sensitive topic.

This week we went up to the cottage.  The weather was perfect.  It was the first time we have been up with both babies and much of the time was dusting off the cobwebs, so to speak.

So on Monday we decided it was a perfect day to BBQ.  In the afternoon I went to remove the cover from it, and was promptly stung by some little yellow and black assholes greeted by some wasps.  We realized that this wasp family had built themselves a nest on OUR BBQ.

Husband, I say.  Go stick the nozzle of our malathion fogger up the hole of that nest and get rid of those little bastards.

And so he did.  Then we waited a little bit and he took a large stick, knocked it down, and beat the living shit out of the nest like a real man should.  He saved us, Bitches.

So after getting a lecture from Bestie later that day about my use of bug killing substances, she says to me:  “OMG.  You are Isreal, and the wasps are Palestine!”

Umm. What?

So there began my lesson in current events.

You see, even though the BBQ belonged to us, we had vacated said BBQ for quite a period of time for reasons beyond our control ( SEE: Canadian Winter).  The wasps needed somewhere to live, so they innocently set down roots in what was (IS) our space.

Upon our return, we wanted our space back, but the wasps were reluctant to be thrown out to nowhere.  They tried to defend themselves but as annoying as it is to be stung by a wasp, they were no match for our weapons of mass destruction.

Now, had they greeted us with open arms and kept their stingers to themselves, we might have shared our space.  Everybody needs a home, right?

But they came out stinging.  So we had a right to defend ourselves.  And now they are dead, and their home is nothing but a bludgeoned piece of pulp.

So I guess Bestie was right.  It’s a bit of an oversimplification of the conflict going on in Gaza/West Bank etc. But our conflict with the wasps is similar.

So, now that I’ve put that in perspective, who do you side with?

I mean, that was Israel’s home once, was it not?  Is it their fault that Hilter decided to kill 6 million Jews and displace them from their homes?

No, of course not.  But on the flip side, Is it Palestine’s fault that they need somewhere to live too?  They are humans with babies and pets and they go to school and play soccer and love each other just the same way the Jews do.

How do you solve this? Can’t they just share?  Can’t they co-exist?

From my BBQ story clearly not.  This is one thing I don’t have the answers for, Bitches.

Opinions?

 

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