Happy Birthday To ME, And Happy Thanksgiving To All My Bitches.

by Cookie

It’s my birthday, Bitches.

I’m not going to tell you how old I am, because age is just a number, right?

Right?

As far as birthdays go, I’m kinda whatever today.  I’ve had this shitty cold all weekend.  I had a shitty sleep, and I’m feeling like the urge to drink tequila by myself on a Monday morning would be inappropriate seeing as I still have to cook dinner for 15 and mind at least one of my children.

BUT, it’s a beautiful fall day outside, and it also happens to be Canadian Thanksgiving, so what am I thankful for?

1. That my cold is just a cold and not Ebola.  Yes, I’m obsessing.

2. For my babies.  They made me a human, gave me feelings and empathy and all that shit.

3. For my husband, because who wants to go through it alone?

4. For my family, because they HAVE to like me, or at least pretend to.

5. For a roof over my head and a plate full of food.

6. For Baby Einstein.  Julie Clark, you save me some days.

7. For the talents I’ve been given, and the balls to use them, instead of punching someone else’s clock.

8. For Canada.  For freedom. For safety. For health.

9. For friends.  Who love me in spite of myself.

10.  For you Bitches.  For this forum.  For the ability to express myself and never worry about the ramifications of my opinions.

Happy Thanksgiving, Bitches.  Go stuff yourself full of joy and food, and we’ll get back to ranting tomorrow.