Cookie’s Commandments Of Not Killing People
Dead babies in a storage locker. Some Quebec asshole runs down some Mounties with his car because he wants to be Jihadist. Nurses killing patients because they or their families are annoying. Chopping off people’s heads for not being an Islamic extremist.
It goes on and on, Bitches.
And the truth is, I feel like I can’t handle the level of cray-cray-crazy that some of you assholes are dishing out lately.
Not you specifically, but you know what I mean.
How does a human get to that point? It can’t all be mental illness. Because if being an asshole is a mental illness someone should call the WHO. Because Ebola has got nothing on this disease and it seems to be contagious.
You know what the real irony is? People today are so fucking selfish and entitled and greedy, and yet so worried about everyone else. And I don’t mean concerned for their well being. I mean concerned that someone else has more than them. Worried that what Joe next door is doing behind closed doors is somehow going to affect them. Busy pointing fingers at everyone else’s bullshit and sins and whatever that they completely forgot to worry about their own assholery.
Have people always been like this? Did we always murder each other and hide dead babies in lockers?
Probably, but news reporting is just that much better I guess.
Time for a new set of rules, I think.
Cookie’s Commandments of Not Killing People:
1. Don’t kill babies.
2. Don’t run over people with your car unless they are trying to kill a baby.
3. Don’t hide bodies where other people will find them. Not killing people will help this significantly.
4. If your religion encourages killing, become a non-practicing believer.
5. If you accidentally kill someone, say you’re sorry.
6. If you feel like you are at risk for killing someone, don’t keep knives, guns, baseball bats or bombs near by.
7. Don’t believe everything your fellow Jihadist says.
8. If you feel the urge to kill things, call for help, or play a shooter video game.
9. Try to keep your asshole level at or near normal. Keep the crazy at bay.
10. Don’t fucking kill people.