Squatters Anonymous

by Cookie

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Bitches, I can’t walk.

Ok.  I can walk, but it’s not the easy, muscle-memory activity it was just two days ago.

The positive thing about this horrible ambitious exercise challenge is that a whole bunch of my people are on board.  There must be at least 10 friends who have promised to do it too.  It’s kind of a fun thing, suffering as a group as opposed to suffering alone.  Something rather communal about it.

Also on the positive, my ass doesn’t hurt.  Which means that my ass is obviously is extraordinarily great shape compared to my fucking legs.  How one’s ass muscles get so amazingly strong is beyond me, but I’ll take whatever I can get today.

So here’s the bad part:

I feel like I spent the entire night fucking a Clydesdale in my sleep.  My legs feel like they are twice as far apart as they usually are and I’m having a hard time sitting down to pee.  If anybody knows where rent an attachable penis until my legs work again, that would be great.  (insert strapon jokes here).  Insert.   I kill me, seriously.

Stairs are also posing a bit of a problem, and I am currently cursing the idea that we live in a house with three floors.

My vagina seems to hurt to.  Can doing 105 squats in 24 hours injure your vagina?  Please see earlier statement about horse fucking.

However, I did complete the necessary amount of squats this morning to say I am still on the wagon.  Maybe they weren’t as deep as yesterday, but they still happened.  They count.  I know because of the pain.

2 days down, 28 to go.