10 Ways To Know You’re A Mom With The Flu

by Cookie



Does anybody remember what it was like to be sick before having children?

How you would take a couple of sick days and watch some movies.  Maybe eat some of that Lipton’s Chicken Noodle Soup.  The neon yellow kind with the teeny tiny noodles?

Yeah.  It’s a whole new world after children though.

Here are my top ten reasons you know you are a parent during a bout with the flu:

  1. You still go to work because while it may not involve your bed, it’s easier than looking after your children.
  2. You try ignoring the illness for a couple of days to see if it will just go away on it’s own.
  3. You cough so hard that you hang your head over the toilet in case you gag and puke……
  4. ……and then you piss your pants instead.
  5. You blow your nose with baby wipes instead of Kleenex.
  6. When there is vomit or snot dripping out of someone elses face, you run towards it instead of away from it so that you don’t also have to clean the carpet.
  7. When you don’t get there in time and the dog eats the vomit, you say good dog and are just thankful for one less thing to clean.
  8. You don’t ever need to go to the doctor yourself because after all the weird diseases your children have brought home, you are an expert in diagnostic medicine too.
  9. You are secretly glad you lost your voice so that you don’t have to talk about the Lego Movie anymore.
  10. As soon as you see the light at the end of the death tunnel and start to feel better, one by one the tiny humans in your life start to get sick too.  You then lead a life of sleep deprivation for about a month until the next illness comes around.  Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Stay healthy, Bitches.