I Am The Boss Of You
Parents, you should all read this article from Macleans magazine. It’s called “The Collapse of Parenting: Why it’s time for parents to grow up”.
It describes the decline of the relationship between parents and their children in recent years. How we’ve turned everything into a negotiation with our children and by trying to empower them we are simply allowing them to overpower the adults. It describes a generation of entitled, lazy children who are lacking in physical activity and winning at obesity.
Last week when I was at the mall and my kids threw an epic tantrum in the middle of the fancy bath stuff store, I dragged my bratty babies out of there and marched right back towards the play area where there are benches to prop them up on so I could get their winter shit on. Because we were fucking leaving. We were so out of there because an asshole move means an asshole consequence in this house.
And Oh they cried. They begged. They told me they didn’t want to leave. They said they were sorry and could they please have their bath bomb.
Good. And nope. Good that you’re sorry and nope you’re not getting your treat. Because rewards are for good behavior and achievements and consequences are for children who are currently acting like dicks.
And I felt like I would be loving my children less by giving into their pleas, because in the grown up world you have to learn to deal with the consequences of your actions.
Lo and behold right beside me was another parent dealing with their child who also happened to be having a freak out because she didn’t want to leave the play area. It was a real team effort by the three of them. A trio of unhappy screeches about how unfair their lives were.
And I smile with empathy at the other mom to say “we’re all in this together”.
And then she proceeded to ask her 2 year old’s permission if they could just go into London Drugs for a few things and would that be ok? And then we can come back and play.
What the ever living fuck?
Trust me. When you put your two year old in charge of your shit it will only result in everything bad.
And yes. I KNOW that when you have a baby everything revolves around their needs and that they are kinda in charge of what gets done in a day. But for god’s sake don’t actually hand them the reins!
I just feel like sometimes shit has to happen because I said so. Maybe I’m that asshole who doesn’t seem to empower their kids, but I feel like I empower them by giving them the opportunity to be good at something. Like art or music or sports or whatever. I feel like I empower them by giving them the power to make harmless good decisions about whether to wear blue pants or red pants or whether to eat cheese or yogurt for breakfast.
Those are the decisions they should be making.
Not whether or not Mommy is allowed to go into a store because you don’t feel like leaving the goddamn play area.
Sometimes you just gotta love your kids by dragging them out of the store and not giving into their crap.