thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Month: February, 2016

Anyone Want To See A “Snap” Of The Giant Poop In The Bathtub?



So I have this friend.  She is the girlfriend of Husband’s Bestie, so I guess you could call her my bestie-in-law.

Her and Husband’s Bestie spend a lot of time eating out.  Taking pictures of delicious food and drinks that they actually have money for and time to do.  This past weekend, she took a couple extra days off work and stayed in bed watching all the Oscar nominated movies without anybody interrupting her. 

And I guess you could say that her, in combination with the entity that is fucking Snapchat is making me feel like a real loser these days.

Every single morning I wake up to a bunch of “Snaps” from another friend in his early twenties.  They are basically a bunch of short videos of him drinking beer, slow dancing with cats and taking shots of gin. It usually includes singing of some sort of Justin Bieber song.  And not even the one I like.  I just sit there, thinking about the party I had watching HGTV and eating freezies on the couch the night before.  If I could figure out how to Snap him back, what would I take a video of?  Me drinking a glass of wine and contemplating if I can stay awake long enough to watch a full hour long drama before bed?

Maybe I should ditch the blog and figure out how to use Snapchat in order to give ya’ll real insight into what fucking goes on around here some days.

Then I wouldn’t have to describe how on Friday night I finally get the kids in the tub and they are momentarily not screaming or trying to kill one another. So I walk into another room to tidy up or something equally as glamorous when I hear Destroyer yelling from the tub “MOMMY!  Buddy pooped in the tub!”


I wouldn’t have to describe how both children were standing on their tiptoes on one corner of the bathtub.  I wouldn’t have to describe a 6 inch long turd floating in the water.  And I certainly wouldn’t have to explain to you how I momentarily had to do a double take because in my delirium I thought for a second there was a worm in it.

And MY Bestie could have just “Snapped” me a video of Buddy pulling his penis out during dinner on Saturday and pissing on the dog while I was at work.

Maybe I’m a liar.  Maybe my Snaps would be very similar to my twenty something friend.  Maybe they would be of me doing a couple of shots of tequila before throwing on gloves and cleaning up poopapalooza.  Maybe they would just be of me drunk-snuggling my dog on the couch rather than dry humping him to “Sorry” by JB.

But probably not.

I guess sometimes I just hear about single people’s and people without children’s lives and feel like my standard of fun is so completely different now and it makes me feel a little nostalgic.  It makes me feel like I need a weekend off from my life.

Is that a horrible thing to say?

Maybe I should just hate my bestie-in-law for the life she has and continue to be jealous of her movie fest and poutines and steak dinners.  It’s probably a lot easier to misplace my frustration and project my feelings of loserness onto somebody else.  It would be a lot less complicated than trying to organize a babysitter and make a dinner reservation.

Or maybe I could just invite them for dinner and bring the party home.

Compromise is everything, right?


Would You Have Vince Li For Dinner, As Long As He Was Taking His Meds?



Anybody who lives in Manitoba will undoubtably have heard about Vince Li, the man who killed another young man named Tim Maclean on a Greyhound bus 7 years ago.  The killing was a random, gruesome act where the victim was beheaded and then eaten by the attacker for several hours before the ordeal was over.

Clearly, a person who does this is not in their right minds.  Right?  Li is a schizophrenic who had not taken his medication.  The results were terrifying.

Because of his mental illness he was found criminally not responsible for his actions.  He spent some time in a psychiatric facility and the entire time his treatment has been focused on helping him to re-enter society.  He is currently living in a group home with very little supervision, with the hope that he can live more independently.  His case is currently being reviewed to see if this is possible.

So, there are a lot of conflicting opinions about the whole thing. You can read a couple of them here and here.  He has become somewhat of a poster boy for mental illness, and anyone who dares to question the safety of having this man in their community is deemed to be insensitive to mental illness.

You know, I gotta call bullshit here.

I don’t think that people having valid concerns about this man living independently is unreasonable at all.

Yes.  He is taking is medication.  But how do we know he will continue to do so? Is there someone who is going to administer it and make sure he takes it every single day?  Will he have regular evaluations by a mental health care worker?  Will he continue to have treatment once out in the community?

Let’s be real.  He didn’t have a panic attack and crash his car.  He boarded a bus and ate another man.  A police officer on duty committed suicide after having to see that.  This was a scary, violent and degrading act.

And do I think he needs to be punished?  Not really. He was insane.  How do you punish someone for doing something they had no control over? But I think about how he must feel knowing now what he did.  How does that affect his mental health in other ways?  Will the emotional consequences of his actions overcome him and make him a danger in other ways?

Will his medication always work?

So, if having these questions and concerns about Vince Li re-entering our community makes me an asshole so be it.  Then I’m an asshole.  But I wonder if the people who are in charge of his release would commit to having this man live in their homes, with their children?  Is he really that safe?   Because I think the public has a right to feel concerned or at the very least have all of their questions and concerns addressed.

And I am by no means an expert in the justice system, but since he was never convicted of anything, is there any court order in place to monitor his behaviour?  Anything in place so that if he is found to be un-compliant with his treatment in any way he has his freedom removed?

Will the people of the community he is going to live in know that he is there?

I am not against rehabilitation of this man.  But I think that there needs to be complete transparency regarding his release.  People always fear the unknown.  And I think that what the future holds for Vince Li is unknown.

As for the family of the victim?  I can’t even imagine what they think.  I would hope that they have received even one tenth of the support and treatment needed to get through the grieving process that Vince Li has.  I hope that we have offered them the same amount of help that we have offered the man who killed their son.

Because they are serving a life sentence.


An Ode to Bread



You know shit is starting to go downhill when one of the most exciting things is finding a bag of 10 bagels at Walmart for 3 bucks.  But that’s where I am, Bitches.

Because you know what?  I am just like Oprah.  I love bread.  I fucking love bread.

I might love bread more than I love wine.

No.  I’m a complete liar.  I would sell my bagels to the highest bidder for wine.  I have a two year old and a four year old.  I would starve to death before I would give up wine.

But seriously, I don’t know how I gave bread up for 3 months last year.  It was so hard.  I had gained about 20 pounds and it simply wasn’t in the budget for me to have to go out and buy all new clothes, so I needed to drop a few pounds.  And it worked.  But as I ogle my new bag of 10 bagels for 3 bucks, I keep thinking that there has to be a way to eat bread and not become a baby beluga.

And no, Oprah.  I don’t want your Weight Watcher size bagels.  Because they are tiny and they are bullshit.  I want the real deal.  The fresh bread just baked in the store with melted butter.

A loaf of Italian bread with soft cheese.

Thick cut bread with all the sandwich things inside.

Toast and cottage cheese.  Toast and vegemite.

When I think of all these delicious things, I just say fuck it.  Fat is Phat.  If you are what you eat, I am a soft, warm, hearty  and delicious being.  I go with everything.  Everybody loves me.  I am bread.

This is what one week of the plague gets you Bitches.  An ode to bread.

Bitch on, Bitches.

Just When Things Are Looking Up, Someone Always Shits In The Tub.



I’m not gonna lie, Bitches, most of this weekend was no better than where we left off last week.

I’m pretty sure I have the plague.  Or Cement Lung Disease.  Or Lungs On Fire Disease. Or some other horrible sickness I made up to describe how absolutely shitty I feel.

And since I already feel shitty, why don’t I torture myself further by trying to take Buddy’s interest in potty training to the next level?  Why don’t I put him in underpants, and when I run out of those after he pisses his pants 5 times in 2 hours then I’ll just start using shorts?  Because I clearly love to do laundry and I also hate losing.

But lose I did.

I don’t get it.  This was HIS IDEA.  I was happy to leave him in diapers until summer, when I could give it the proper attention and consistency it needs and deserves.

And then yesterday, just an absolute refusal to cooperate. So fuck it.  We put a pull up back on because I got tired of all the puddles.  And I have the plague to deal with so don’t judge me.

So at bath time I offer the fancy bath bomb to the kids to try and keep the mood happy and the kids excitedly strip down as fast as they can to get in the tub.  A bath bomb, if you’re not familiar is a little ball of joy.  You put it in the tub and it explodes sparkles and sometimes rose petals.And it makes the water pretty and soft and wonderful.

Anyway, Buddy gets undressed and in the water faster than lightning.  And I look down and think, that’s weird…why is his foot brown?

Well his foot was brown because he had taken a ginormous shit in his pull up and stepped in it while taking it off.  Also his hand was brown because he had to touch the shit to make sure that it was, in fact, shit.  And now the shit was happily floating around the filling tub, because that’s the way my life has been this week.  Shit floating around in the tub pretty much sums up the last few days.  It’s so annoying and stupid and gross, and you’re not sure if you should be angry or laugh hysterically.

Because why is there always shit in the tub?

There isn’t really.  But it just feels like there is.

Potty training is for the birds.  And so is the plague.

Take Your Parenting Mistakes And Your PhD And Shove Them.



I am seriously so sick of reading articles like this one.  “20 most common parenting mistakes”  or some other bullshit.

Give them choices…..but not too many.

Get them involved in sports/activities…..but not too many or they turn into a bully.

Don’t try and make them happy. What?

Don’t praise them, but also don’t critique them.


What irks me is that all the information out there conflicts with itself a thousand times over.  I just can’t even read any more of these parenting advice crap articles because you know what?

My kids act like total assholes anyway.

So take your PhD and shove it up your ass.  Live a moment in my shoes, any parent’s shoes and then decide if your answers are so clear.

The past two days in this house have been terrible.  I’m sick, Husband is sick and the kids have been devils.  But without the charm and perks that come with hanging out with a devil.  Constant whining, fighting, non-cooperation.  I have listened to so much screaming that I feel like I am about to explode.

Last night they were being so bad that I decided to start bathtime early, because it usually distracts them from their assholery.  But oh not today, Bitches.  Today they used it as an opportunity to beat on each other and torture me further.

Buddy somehow managed to pour water up his sisters nose or something which resulted in me having to pull her out so she could vomit not in the bathtub.  Then he started spitting water out everywhere and being generally disgusting so I pulled him out and marched him to his room.

And of course, he slipped on the wet floor when I went to close the door and cranked his head on the hardwood.

So I get him calmed down and get them settled back in the tub when the phone rings and I go to answer it.  But no.  Because then I hear bloodcurling screaming coming from the tub because Destroyer has purposely taken all his toys and is taunting him.

So I, being the HUMAN that I am finally lose my cool.

I yank her out and send her to her room.  And I’m SUPER DONE and angry so I slam her bedroom door.  ( She doesn’t get that from me I promise)  And one of her picture frames falls off the shelf and breaks.  Because that’s what I get for being an asshole back to the kids.  Which, by the way, wasn’t on that list of 20 mistakes so I guess I’m still technically a good parent.

So anyway, bedtime was about 90 minutes early yesterday because I could not cope with one more second of the circus.

And my point?  Part of my point was that I just needed to bitch because it was a hard day and I felt like a shit parent and then I came across that stupid article this morning on msn.  And my other point is that it didn’t fucking matter how many days a week we do gymnastics or whether I praise them too many times or not enough times or I let her choose which pants to wear too many times or anything else.

My point is that sometimes kids are just tired little assholes that need to go to bed early, and I don’t need to read another goddamn article about how it’s my fault or how I fucked them up.

So there.

The Fear In Your Heart Is Making You An Asshole.

A few weeks ago, I wrote  little piece called “Brave”. It was about my daughter learning about courage and how to have to learn to face your fears in order to find it.

Ever the Star Wars enthusiast, she is fascinated by how the fear in Anakins heart is able to change him so much. It consumes him so much that he does things that hurt others.  He lets his fear of losing the things he loves be stronger than the love itself.  And once the fear overpowers the love….well, you’re fucked.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we let fear affect us so much in our everyday lives.

We let fear of failure prevent us from reaching our full potential.  We let fear talk us out of setting and reaching our goals.  We let fear talk us out of trying anything new.

I think children project their fears onto things like being afraid of the dark.  Which is really just fear of the unknown.  Kids are afraid of change and evolution sometimes, and when the lights go off they  can’t guarantee that everything is the same as it was when the lights were on.  They can’t see if there is something unknown (monsters) around a dark corner.  And of course, they aren’t able to articulate that, so they are just plain afraid of the dark.

I also think that many kids turn their fear and insecurities of being alone or others not liking them into bullying behaviour.  Bullying, in my opinion, is insecurity in heightened form.  The “I’ll reject them before they reject me” mentality.

And maybe, just maybe, if I as a parent can nuture self confidence and recognize these behaviours as the fears they are, I can prevent my child from projecting their insecurities onto another child.

And then maybe, I can prevent them from manifesting in their adult life too.

Because if you remember, Anakin didn’t turn into Darth Vader until he was an adult.  With adult fears and adult love and adult responsibilities.

And I’m not saying that every grown up is gonna go all  full Sith and raise an army (unless you’re that fat crazy fuck running North Korea, but that’s a whole other post) but we certainly allow it to rule our lives in other ways.

Grown ups can be bullies too.  I see it happen all the time.  People become afraid of losing what they have, so they project that onto others.  They become afraid of their own shortcomings or failures and look to blame it on someone else.  They put unreasonable expectations on others in order to prove to themselves that they really are in control after all.

And it is such utter bullshit that it makes my heart pound and my head spin.  Failure isn’t anything to be afraid of.  Not learning from failure is the scary part.

But still we are afraid.  And instead of learning to be brave we abuse the people around us and try to make them afraid.  As if spreading our own fear will lessen the amount we already own.  It doesn’t work that way.

Fear just breads fear.  Which breads hate.  Which breads assholery of all kind and bullies and Darth Vader.

So please.  Would y’all just nut up?

Valentine’s Day Is Just Another Lame Attempt To Make Me Grow Feelings



Do you remember Valentine’s Day when you were little?

Everyone made their valentine cards at home and then there was usually some sort of party in the classroom at school and everyone handed them out.  I remember getting so excited to see who would leave me a card.

Of course, I grew up in the eighties, and not in the land of everybody gets one, so I noticed that the pile of valentines on my desk was smaller than a lot of the other kids in the room

Then high school came along.  The student council would set up a rose sale, where people could buy roses and then it wold be delivered to your home room.  I think I got one once in four years from a boy who was gay.

And now as an adult, I couldn’t give any less shits about  Valentine’s Day or any other man made holiday for that matter.  When me and Husband were without children we’d go out for dinner and spend all the dollars and whatever.

But seriously?

Last night we stayed in and cooked giant Flinstone steaks and ate a loaf of ciabatta bread with brie cheese.

And Bitches, it was coconut brie.  Have you ever had that in your mouth?  Because you should.  It’s the best thing that has happened to my mouth in a very ling time.

I was so busy making love to that brick of cheese that there was not a chance in hell any hanky panky was happening anytime soon. Which was unfortunate because I even shaved my legs. Considering it’s February and I have about 7 layers of clothing on at all times, that is  big deal.  That’s effort, Bitches.  But I was SO FULL after dinner that I almost couldn’t even fit another glass of wine. And I always have room for another glass of wine.

Maybe it’s just the trauma of all the rejection in my childhood and teenage years, but I just think made up holidays are stupid.  They are nothing but a way to boost sales and make people go out and spend money that they probably don’t have to spend.

Maybe its all the years I’ve spent in the service industry, watching some new couple awkwardly try to keep conversation flowing on a date they never would have went on if it weren’t for St. Valentine. Watching a girl nervously hesitate when the bill comes, not sure if she should expect him to pay or not. *Always make him pay, honey. You bought a new dress for this shit.*

Maybe I am just trying to keep my heart of ice cool enough so that I don’t accidentally grow any more feelings.


We were happy to hang out and watch the Walking Dead ( which was fucking stupid awesome last night, by the way) and eat of the beef in our pajamas and die of fullness.  That’s romance post babies.

What did you do?  What’s your idea of romance?


Sorry That you Punched Me In The Face. Here’s A Bikini Selfie To Make Up For It.

This week the trial concluded for ex musician and CBC radio star, Jian Ghomeshi. You can read a great summary here. He has been charged with assaulting 3 different complainants. Hitting, choking,biting, red fucking flag behaviour on first or second dates.

Unless you’re both kind of kinky.  Which he admittedly is.

Anyway, about a year ago, I wrote this article about it.  As I read through it again this morning, I still agree with most of it.

But here’s my prediction after reading through some of the live Twitter feeds and going through several articles summarizing what happened in court:

I am pretty sure that he is going to get acquitted.  And I am also pretty sure that I agree with that verdict.  The Crown failed miserably to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is guilty of what he is accused of.  The defence demonstrated in every single case that the women had lied, changed their stories and omitted truths from the police, the media and the court.  I understand that victims of abuse are traumatized and some of the alleged assaults happened 10 years ago.  But COME ON.  You’re going to forget or think its not relevant that after a dude beat the shit out of you on your first date that you called him up, went on a second date and went back to his place to give him a hand job? Or that you sent him a provocative email telling him you’re thinking about him? With a picture of you in a bikini? That’s not trauma.  That’s desire.  That sounds consensual to me. And maybe that’s all part of the defence lawyer’s plan, but then she did her job.

Now calm your tits.  I still think he’s an asshole.  I still think that his behaviour in the workplace was unacceptable. And I STILL THINK that women should never be afraid to take their power back and report sexual assault.

There has been a lot of activity on line with people screaming about victims rights and the way the victims were treated in court was why women don’t report sexual assault. A lot of time a women’s sexuality goes on trial , but in this case the victims credibility did because they lied over and over again.

Any time a woman is mistreated by a man, they should stand up for themselves.  In the moment.  After the moment.  A decade later. Forever.

But sometimes, is it possible that a woman regrets something that she did because it made her feel dirty?  And on top of that, the man in question doesn’t reciprocate her pursuit after the act?  And then decides that she withdraws her consent after the fact?

Saying yes to that is a slippery slope.  One that makes other victims afraid to come forward. But you can’t convict a man because you want to protect future victims.  And I think that’s what convicting Jian Ghomeshi would be about at this point.  It’s become less about the actual facts in this case, and more about the media circus.  Which would suit Lucy Decoutere just fine as she watches the best role of her life go on with a big bowl of popcorn and a shit eating grin on her face.  ( her idea, not mine)

Here are some thoughts from a friend of mine that sum up the way I feel pretty nicely:

I’ve followed the trial closely. Sarah Boesveld (Chatelaine magazine) did a tremendous job live tweeting from the courtroom.

So my thoughts (very briefly) are as follows. And please don’t take offence as this in no way invalidates women (or men’s) experiences with sexual assault. No question, Jian abused his power and (i’m pretty sure) he’s got a tendency to get pretty rough and has even admitted he’s into BDSM.

Regarding the trial, despite all the lying and inconsistencies, was the Crown able to prove the absence of consent beyond a reasonable doubt? I personally don’t think so.

Were it not discovered independently, we (the public) would never have heard the actual truth. I think Henein and her team did an incredible job.

I hate how this has all gone down – in terms of…REAL victims of sexual assault. In a way, I think Jian is a victim of fandom.

These women lied and concealed their conduct. And then when they got caught, exclaimed “Oh gee…that’s how victims of assault behave.”

Um. Seriously?

You can’t want Christian Grey then take him to court later.


I thought it would be interesting to hear what y’all are thinking.

What is your prediction for the verdict?  How do you feel about the trial?

Do you think he is guilty of assault, or just guilty of being an asshole?



Exercise Your Freedom Of Speech, As Long As It’s Not On Facebook



So, this nurse in Saskatchewan wrote a post on her Facebook page criticizing the care her grandfather received at a palliative care facility.

She felt that while some of the staff were very good, others would benefit from more training, and encouraged families of patients to watch how their loved ones were treated and report anything they were concerned about.

She’s now in the middle of a disciplinary hearing and could be in deep shit for her comments.

I don’t know how I feel about that.  Would she be facing any sort of problem if she weren’t herself a nurse?

I think that social media can be a very powerful thing, but we are all still entitled to our opinions.  How is this any different from her going on one of those “Rate MD” sites and posting a negative comment about the care her grandfather received there?

And yes, even I try to be careful when posting complaints about one thing or another.  I rarely name names or get specific ( she probably should have left the name of the facility out), but in this day and age of social media there has to be some expectation of discussion online between clients.

The restaurant where I moonlight specifically talks to us about providing service good enough that someone would go to Facebook or Twitter to rave about it.  But that means you have to be prepared for some negative feedback as well.

And if a bartender from another restaurant said that our place had shitty service and it was slow, I wouldn’t feel betrayed by a colleague in the industry.  I would probably think yeah, something stupid must have happened because other service staff are usually the most patient patrons.

I don’t know.  We are supposed to live in a country where we have the freedom to say what’s on our minds whether it’s coming from our mouths or written on our screens.  Posting an opinion on a public forum also gives anyone in question the opportunity to respond immediately to the topic in question.

I would also be willing to bet that the staff in the facility in question have ramped up their A game since the post happened, because they are probably determined to prove this woman wrong.  Either that, or they know that people do watch and have a forum to express their opinions.

And maybe, this nurse didn’t even try to speak to anyone before she made her post.  She probably should have at least tried to bring her concerns to their attention first and waited to see if they responded appropriately.  But in my experience with Health Care in this country, complaining to an administrator gets you nowhere.

In the end, I believe that she has the right to post her opinion on her Facebook page. She’s not a public figure, she doesn’t have huge influence anywhere.  The only difference between her bitching to her friends and them passing the story along and this is that it’s in writing.


The Road To Happiness Is Cluttered In Assholes, But Lucky For Me I’m Nimble As Hell

The other day I bumped into someone I hadn’t seen in about two years.  There was nothing special about the day.  I wasn’t all dressed up.  I was wearing full outside winter attire complete with messy hair full of static under a toque I bought at Giant Tiger.

And she sorta stared at me while we said hello, and then commented about how my face had this energy about it.  She said I just looked so happy and relaxed.

Now of course, the last time she saw me was during the Time Of No Sleep While Still Having To Work AKA the first year after Buddy was born when dying of exhaustion seemed like a reasonable alternative to making it through another sleepless day and night.  And so I laughed about how amazing it is that 6 hours of sleep every night can change your life and make you feel like a person again.

All of which was true.

But what I didn’t talk about, because it’s not like she wanted the play by play of my life was how I ended up in this place where yes, I do feel happy.

So me, the Queen of the Rant, is actually just plain happy. I feel like amongst the busy days and tight schedule we are having a bit of a social life again. I feel motivated to make some changes to my work in anticipation of the kids starting school.  Don’t get me wrong…things still piss me off and I have not time for other peoples shit, but I feel like life is settling down and little by little I can spend more time on things that I want, rather than only what everybody else needs.

This past weekend I had a conversation with someone that I’ve always had a lot of respect for.  Someone that I have defended and stuck up for in the past, even when other peoples’ opinions (who’s opinions also matter to me) differed from mine.  The conversation left me feeling frustrated, and offended and just plain mad.  I stewed about it for a few days, and am still kinda mad about what was said.

But here’s the thing about assholes.  They have a purpose greater than just spewing shit at you.

The conversation made me mad enough to realize that I have been selling myself short and accepting less than what I deserve.  Not just in this particular situation, but in general.  Before I had kids, I was a “jump and all in” kind of girl.  But I think in the past five years of making and raising babies and just trying to get through each day, I started taking the easy road because that was survival. I got lazy because I was tired.  And I think that’s normal while you have small kids at home.

So when I bumped into this woman that I hadn’t seen in two years, she was seeing the realization on my face that it was time for me to stop thinking about doing things, or wanting to do things and actually start fucking doing them.  She was seeing me being able to leave the kids with their dad while I explored something for myself that I’ve been contemplating for about a year.  She saw me feel excited about trying something new rather than being afraid to come out of my comfort zone.

It was the realization that I don’t need validation from other people in order to have a great life.  I certainly don’t need the approval of someone who is insecure and unhappy and trying to project their shitty life onto mine.  That’s what people do when they are unhappy.  They figure if they can share their unhappiness with you, it will lessen their burden.

But if you refuse to accept someone elses burden of crap, you should be able to navigate the shit storm of life.  The path to happiness is full of assholes, but they are easily dodged once you realize that’s all they are.




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Meet Jax a funny, kind, and smart preschooler who was a micro-preemie born at 23 weeks. Now that Jax is older, the scariness of the NICU has faded, but we're still learning how to manage the lasting effects of prematurity including chronic medical issues, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. This is our story of love, hope, and survival.

Writings From Dr. Oolie's Pond

Poetry, Prose, and Random Thoughts

You're Wrong and That's Okay

Helping those who should really learn to help themselves...

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