Stay At Home Dads Are The BEST EVER.
Any stay at home dads out there?
You are all my heroes. Seriously. Along with the stay at home moms.
And not to be a rude, sexist ass or anything, but I think it is harder for Dads to be the stay at home parent than it is for a woman.
My husband took paternity leave after both of our children were born. As someone who does mostly contract work and has private earnings coming in, I didn’t have any employment benefits. I did have the luxury of having my summers off every year, which meant my July babies were perfectly timed to give us a few months together before Daddy took over.
And it was the only way for us. And it was SUPER HARD.
I struggled because any new mom will tell you how hard it is to be away from your infant. Not only that, but most of my work is done at home. I can’t describe to you the conflict in my heart while I tried desperately to pay attention to my students and help them learn while I could hear the cries of my baby coming for another room.
And the thing that sucked the most is that my Husband was doing a stellar job. But the babies didn’t give a single shit about that. There are many times when a baby needs their momma and that is fucking that.
So he felt like shit, I felt stressed out. He worked so hard to make it bearable and the kids worked super hard to almost kill him.
So why is it so much harder for a dad to stay at home?
Well, first off is that while its becoming more and more common, people still do a bit of a double take when the dad is at home with the kids. They assume:
- Dad is a lazy freeloader who can’t hold a decent job.
- Mom is a selfish bitch who puts her career ahead of her family
And while neither of these things are true, the perception makes it hard for some families to make the decision that ultimately makes the most sense for them.
I think that once a man gets over whatever it is that their environment and society expects of them: to be the provider and protector in terms of financial and safety; and thinks of those terms more along the lines of nurturer, then the role of primary caregiver will fit more easily.
And a few lessons in how to tie ponytails and braid a little girls hair would probably go a long way too.
In today’s world it’s rare that a family can afford to do things the “traditional way”. And really, as long as everyone is fed and happy and sheltered and loved, the logistics are just logistics.
Every year I adjust my work load slightly to what might work better for us. It’s completely trial and error. Some things work better than others. But amongst all the chaos and irregular work hours, I will never take those 9 months my husband was home for us granted ever again.
Because our stay at home dad was the best ever.