G Is For Gin. One Letter Away From Win.

by Cookie

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Some of the bloggers I know are doing this A-Z challenge, where everyday they use the next letter of the alphabet as their inspiration.  Today is “G” day.

And no.  As much as I love them, “G” isn’t for grandparents.  Or greatness.  Or Grand Canyon.

Bitches, “G” is for gin.

With it’s juniper aroma and delicious and versatile flavour, gin and I go waaaayyyy back.  For a time it was definitely my drink of choice until I whored myself out to tequila in my post birth years.

Gin is what got me into trouble, and tequila is how I’m coping with the aftermath of it.

Here is what gin means to me:

  1. Gin in a martini.  3 olives.  Very dry and the dirtier the better.
  2. Gin in a Caesar.  Don’t judge that until you’ve tried it, and then you will never go back to vodka.
  3. Gin straight out of the bottle before you go out to a club for the night.  Because it’s cheaper than drinking at the bar and then your party is already started when you get there.
  4. Ultimate panty remover.  Gin played a large role in the conception of my children. If you lean in really close, you will catch the faint scent of a pine forest in their hair.
  5. Provides some of the worst hangovers ever but it leaves a faint minty taste in the vomit.  FYI.
  6. Straight gin in a dark room after finally getting a screaming baby to sleep after a really rough day.
  7. Supposedly helps with the taste of a man’s love juice.  I heard from a friend.  I wouldn’t know because I am not a dirty whore.
  8. That I can remember.
  9. Gin Cassis martini.  JUST.DO.IT.
  10. Gin is one letter away from Win.  Losers don’t like gin…remember that when picking your friends.

 

Now unfortunately, I don’t drink gin much these days.  Much as Buddy ruined seafood and ketchup for me while on the inside, I haven’t been able to rekindle my relationship with gin since giving birth to him.  BUT, it took years for me to eat shrimp again, and I can report that I am gloriously pouring ketchup all over my eggs and fries and pancakes (that’s a whole other post) again.  So I have high hopes of a new relationship the G-Man, built on a solid foundation that will come back stronger than ever.

Until then, I will maintain my whore like affair with tequila, because everyone needs a little mexican in their life at some point.

What does “G” mean to you?

 

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