Don’t Be An Asshole To Your Kids Either: What Monday Taught Me
by Cookie
Yesterday, Bitches, my kids were complete assholes.
From the start of the day until the moment we lay down to go to sleep they whined and fought and cried and bitched and moaned and I came so close to putting them both up for sale.
It was seriously a shitty day.
But I think I learned something new.
After the one millionth time I yelled at them, and honestly I can’t even remember what it was this time, I’d finally had enough of the shit they were dealing. I was trying to just get a couple things done around the house. You know, so there was food to eat and clean clothes to wear…the glamorous stuff. Anyway, Buddy was on a major freak out. Over a broken cracker. And if you’ve never been stuck in a house with a 2 year old who is busy having a fucking shit fit about everything in the universe for 3 hours straight all while your poor husband is trying to sleep after a night shift, be thankful.
So I finally completely lost all patience and plucked him out of his chair, half dragged him up to his room and left him there to work out his fit.
5 minutes later he’s still screaming. Except hes not screaming. He’s sobbing.
And Bitches, that’s my Buddy.
I was still so fucking frustrated and mad but he was sobbing. So I went up to him and ask what his problem is and all he says is “nuggle you”. Which in Buddy talk means “I need to snuggle you.”
So all this time he’s losing his shit all over the place, and even after I am a super asshole mom, all he really needs is that?
All that time he’s following me around whining and complaining while I try to load the dishwasher and throw some laundry in, he just wanted to snuggle?
So I sit on his bed and he crawls in my lap and immediately calms down.
And you what else happened? I did too. I felt all the mad and frustration go away as soon as I “nuggled” my Buddy. It’s funny how what he needed seemed to be the same as what I needed.
So what did I learn? I learned that I need to just let go of my agenda sometimes. I learned that I can’t always expect things to go as planned. I learned that it is ok if the dishes sit on the counter today if what my kids need is just a little more attention.
No wonder they get so excited about babysitters coming over. They don’t have to worry about cleaning or cooking or working when they’re here. They only have to focus on hanging out with the kids and the kids don’t have to compete with anything for their attention.
I learned that sometimes, having a productive day means that we had a happy one where I paid attention. I learned that sometimes, my job doesn’t have to be to do all the things. It can be to do just the one thing.
I learned that a hug can cure most things.
And I learned that being an asshole because my kids are being assholes doesn’t help.
Less assholery. More love. Don’t be an asshole.
I love this post. Glad I am not the only one that has called my kids assholes. You are totally right. Some days my to do list has to be cut in half, and that’s ok.
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It’s hard to accept though. All I see is an endless to do list. Sigh.
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I know 😦
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Solder on, right momma? Nuggles and wine, nuggles and wine!
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Amen!
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Two things we try not to do here are spanking and yelling. I am good with the spanning thing but every now and then when I am repeatedly ignored the yelling happens. It scares the crap outta my kid because we don’t really do it often and it always results in him crying, telling me he is scared and asking for a hug. I always give the hug because we don’t withhold love out of anger and it immediately soothes us both. I wish I could learn the lesson to ha for it differently so it didn’t get to that point. Maybe after reading this I will manage that. You never know!
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I never thought of it as witholding love our of anger, but you’re right. It totally is. You have humbled me, my friend. The last thing I want is for my kids to feel unloved, even when they are acting out.
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Damn. Now I feel like an asshole for all the times I shoo my kids away trying to take care of business.
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