ihaveanopinionidliketoshare

thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Month: May, 2016

10 Minutes Too Long, Cincinnati Zoo

gorilla-928598_960_720

pixabay.com

I know you all are probably sick of hearing about that goddamn gorilla.  I am too.  It’s been all over the news for like four days, and it’s starting to get old.

I personally hadn’t written anything about it while I skimmed through articles and read people’s crazy commentary.

And it was.  Fucking crazy.

Parenting is a hard gig, Bitches.  Especially when you are out in a crowded public place with more than one child.  Even with one child.  Yet we go to these places with the hope that our kids will learn something new, appreciate things they wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to see and because staying at home with your children all the time would put most of us over the edge.

Is it possible that this is a good mom who had the shittiest day of her entire life?  Obviously, yes.  Kids are fucking ninjas sometimes.  They can escape our view and get swallowed up so easily in a crowd.  It’s terrifying.

Did the zoo officials make the right call?  I think they did.  Male gorillas can be extremely aggressive and unpredictable.  The child was in danger, and they acted to save him from further injury.

But here is my take on the whole situation:

Have you guys watched the video?  The mom can be heard saying “I love you” to the kid in the background as if she just dropped him off for a weekend at his grandparents.

And that is the part that is making wonder what in the fuck is wrong with her.  Not was she negligent.  Not how did her kid slip away…because we all know how that happens.  It doesn’t take much.

But I keep thinking; your kid is in an enclosure getting dragged around by some big ape, and how are you not freaking the fuck out?  How is she not screaming for help?  How is NOBODY trying to get in there to distract the gorilla and save the kid?

Instead, everyone is standing around taking video on their cellphones.

What the ever living fuck?

My other thought, beside how it was even possible for a child to get in there in the first lace ( good job Cincinnati Zoo) is how it took over ten minutes for the zoo officials to take action. There was a child in danger.  There should have been an immediate emergency plan put into place.  Situations like this, however unlikely they are to occur, demand a previously planned emergency response that doesn’t take 10 minutes to implement.  That kid might not have had 10 minutes.

So.  My reaction is more about the non reaction.  I don’t get it.  Fuck ups for everybody, but at least the kid is okay.

And as an animal lover, I am sad this beautiful beast had to lose his life.  My mixed feelings about zoos is a post for another day though.

What is your reaction, Bitches?

 

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I Throw Things When I’m Mad Too, Johnny

In case any of you haven’t heard…since the intimate details of celebrities lives are obviously the most important news story of all,  Johnny Depp is in some deep shit right now over allegations of domestic violence and spousal abuse.

There are a million different reports of this and that, and despite the judge granting Amber Heard ( his now estranged wife) a temporary restraining order, most of what you see in the media seems to be supporting Johnny.

As for the restraining order, JD is probably thinking that he never wants to be within a hundred yards of her ever again anyway.  Whatever.

Now I don’t know what has gone inside their home, but it seems to me that Ms.Heard’s credibility is on the line.  I feel like posting pictures of broken pictures and wine bottles on social media proves nothing.  I feel like having some sort of odd bruising that disappears or moves the next day when you post another picture on social media of yourself out with friends is fishy.  I feel like the police being called to you place over an argument without seeing any of these aforementioned things doesn’t help your story.

Johnny Depp seems like a quiet, passive man.  It’s hard to imagine him getting angry or violent, yet we all get pissed off and say and do regrettable shit.  All of us.

So, could he have gotten mad and whipped a cell phone at his wife?  Sure.  I throw things when I’m pissed off sometimes too.  Does that make him a wife beater?  I personally don’t think so, but the police may see it differently.

Anyway, I don’t know what happened inside their marriage.  But, I did see a few things online that suggested that we once again and without question support the accuser.  And it sort of irked me.

Bitches, we have a justice system that states someone is innocent until proven guilty.  We have NO IDEA what happened in this relationship, and the accuser’s behavior prior to and after the alleged abuse is in question.

And yes, I think her behavior IS relevant.  Just because someone makes a claim doesn’t make it true.  What if she isn’t being *brave*?  What if she’s just being a greedy bitch?

Men have no right to put their hands on a woman in anger or any other fashion that is unwanted.  We can all agree on that.

But simply because a woman makes an accusation against someone doesn’t make it true.  In this particular case, there is a significant amount of money being sought by the accuser.  And there is no better motivator of assholery than he potential for someone to pay you 50,000$ a month just because you slept in the same bed for 15 months.

I just feel like the buzzword all over social media right now is to believe and support all accusers without question.  And that, Bitches, is a dangerous move.  Notice I didn’t say victims.  I didn’t say victims because we are not the ones to determine whether a crime has been committed and therefore there is an actual victim.  The police are.  And in this particular case, they had determined that a crime did NOT occur, and therefore there is not a victim yet.  Merely an accuser with a lot of motivation to lie.

There is a system in place that is maybe not ideal, and very difficult to navigate, but it’s there to protect ALL of us.  It’s there to protect victims and to protect people against false allegations.

I’m sorry, but when we try to use social media to validate criminal allegations, it makes you look foolish and tarnishes your credibility.  Posting pictures of “evidence” on Twitter is ridiculous.

Shit like this with Amber Heard are doing nothing but diminish the experiences of true victims of domestic violence.

We shall see what happens…..but I think the truth is not even close to what we read on line.  What do you think?

 

 

 

What I Learned At Gymnastics On Wednesday

Tumble-Track

gcgc.ca

Yesterday morning was one of our gymnastics days.  It’s my least favourite of the two we go to because in order for Buddy to participate, so do I.

I mean, it’s okay, but it’s really nice to take Destroyer on Thursdays, and watch from the observation room with all the other parents and drink coffee and be grownups.

Anyway, I don’t have to do ALL the things.  For instance, nobody is gonna help me start hanging off the bars or jumping over the vault.  But we play the games, sometimes I walk on the beam just to entice my kids to not be assholes and participate properly.

It’s a class for 1-4 year olds, so as you can imagine, some days the kids are squirrely and not much structure happens.  On those days, there is a lot more free time and the kids can play on whatever apparatus floats their boat.

So, yesterday Destroyer chose to bounce on the Tumbletrak.  What is this, you ask?  It’s like a super long trampoline with a giant mat at the end.  The idea is that the gymnasts run or tumble down it and land in the soft goodness of the mat.  Since she is only four, she runs down the bouncy part at full speed and does a flip at the end.

Mommy, mommy!  Now YOU do one!”

Sweet Jesus and all things holy.  Did my 4 year old just challenge me to a duel?

Seeing as I was feeling all terrific in my super stretchy new jeggings that actually look like jeans, not leggings, but have all the comfort of leggings, I thought why not?

So I get up on that goddamn tumbletrak and run down hard, jump at the end and do a flip, landing in the giant soft goodness of the mat at the end.

Not bad for a slightly ample 38 year old mother who’s main source of activity is chasing dogs and small children away from traffic, right?

Right.

Except for the horrible disorientating vertigo that occurred while in mid air.  I felt like I was in outer space and didn’t know which way was up or down for a few minutes.  It shortly settled into a very unsteady gait  and mild dizzy feeling that lasted for a few hours.  Which then triggered a delightful anxiety attack about my possible brain injury that lasted most of the day.

The only brain injury that actually occurred was prior to my antics.  The one that helped me make the decision to act like a four year old to begin with.

How is there not puke all over the gym all the time?

I guess that horrible feeling of near death only happens when you are an old hag like me.  Trying to do an actual gymnastics move.  Trying to believe my new pants gave me some sort of youthful superpower.

Seriously, Bitches, don’t do flips on trampolines after the age of 30.  Nothing fun happens on a trampoline after 30.

Just don’t.

 

 

Take Your Theory On “Crying It Out” and Suck It

Human-Male-White-Newborn-Baby-Crying

As I continue to accept the fact that we are not having anymore babies, I can also celebrate the fact that I don’t have to deal with figuring out how to put a new baby to bed.  I don’t have to do the wake up every two hours and feed the baby thing.  I don’t have to rock any babies to sleep or pray anyone naps or whatever.

Don’t get me wrong.  I fucking HATE bedtime.  Bedtime is easily the hardest part of the day…so close to a bit of adult time, yet still having to negotiate my way through storytime, brushing their teeth, terrified of the dark almost five year olds, and snuggling while they fall asleep.

In fact, bedtime can just suck it.

Unless you’re Bestie.  Bestie always manages to get them to go to sleep at like 7pm and makes it look all easy.  I’ve tried so hard to get her to move in.  SO HARD.

Anyway, despite the fact that I can possibly see a light at the end of the tunnel, I keep bumping into all these articles about “Crying It Out”

All this “research” telling us how much we fucked up our children.  Oh…..wait……there’s new “research” saying that it’s really not that bad…….just kidding again……you have ruined your child’s brain chemistry and not only will they be an eternal asshole, they will suffer brain damage and forever live in your house…..wait, no……

AND SO ON.

First of all, who the hell is funding all these “studies”  and why do we feel it is necessary to continue to research what we already know will be the result?

The result being, of course, that every baby has different needs and exhausted moms will continue to do whatever works in order to survive no matter what your fucking research says.

The other result being, of course, that a whole new generation of burnt out, self doubting moms will feel like total shit about what they tried to do to help themselves and their child get a decent nights rest.  That each new study serves to do one thing at the end of the day.  To undermine the already waning confidence that each new parent has about whether or not they are doing what’s best for their family.

And no matter what your fucking “research” says, moms will continue to beat each other up on both sides of the argument and shame each other for their choices.  They will each reference a different article supporting their assault on one another.

And you know what?

It doesn’t actually matter what the experts say.  Because you  know who is the expert when it comes to my child?

Me.

So you go ahead and decide whether or not it’s ok for your baby to cry it out or not.  You go ahead and decide how your life is going to play out and stop trying to influence me into doing things your way.

I just wish that researchers would stop spending money doing these fucking “You Suck At Parenting” studies and actually research something worthwhile.   Like how to cure childhood cancer.  Or cystic fibrosis.  Or maybe just fund projects that help moms realize that they are doing the best job they can and give them a place where they can go to share their frustrations or get a break if they are feeling worn out.

Why don’t we take all this money from these useless, shame inducing “studies” and build some goddamn villages around ourselves?

Rant over.

 

That Time No One Was An Asshole At Shoppers Drug Mart

 

2000px-Shoppers-Drug-Mart-Logo.svg

commons.wikimedia.org

Last night while Husband was putting the kids to bed, I had a craving for ice cream and a scratch and win lottery ticket.  Since it was around 9 o’clock on a holiday Monday, there weren’t many options.

So off I went to the 24 hours Shoppers drug Mart across the highway.  Along with everybody else in the south end of this city, apparently.

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that we now have something close by that you can go to after regular store hours that isn’t a 7 Eleven filled with Slurpee Junkies with questionable motives.

But this Shoppers is a perpetual shit show.

There is always a ginormous line up and one cashier who is not only busy having their first moment in front of a cash register,  but I’m pretty sure in front of other human beings.  And of course some asshole requesting to cash in points or do an exchange, or who is pissed off that the register price doesn’t meet the displayed price or something equally annoying.

But not today.

Today, Shoppers Drug Mart was full of sunshine and rainbows and people not being assholes to each other.

I felt like I had fallen into some alternative reality.

There was one cashier open, and she was helping some lady who was cashing in about 5 million lotto tickets, didn’t speak English very well, and was having a hard time communicating her needs to the poor girl who was literally on her first shift.

And before you knew it, there were about 20 people in line.

And you know what?

Instead of getting all pissy and huffy, everybody was chatting with each other, picking up stuff that other people dropped for them, and generally leaving their impatience, entitlement, and assholery at the door.

For maybe the first time ever the supervisor there managed to get their shit together and open a few more tills, and people ushered others ahead of them if they had something heavy or a baby or whatever.

I just have never seen a bunch of strangers be so collectively happy and nice to each other in this city.  No petty line cutting or sighs of exasperation.

It made me realize a couple of things:

  1. Everyone is over scheduled and rushing around so much that we forgot how to just be nice.  Last night, everyone was coming off of a nice weekend away or an extra day off and remembering to how to be a decent human being.
  2. It doesn’t take all that much energy to be polite rather than be a giant dick.   Hold the door for someone, be considerate.  If we all made these tiny efforts, the world would be a lot more bearable.

So, moving forward, let’s remember my motto for life:

Don’t be an asshole.

This Elbowgate Thing Is Starting To Really Irritate Me

 

So everybody in Canada is talking about Elbowgate.

Our Prime Minister was involved in some questionably aggressive behavior in the House of Commons in which he came to pull another MP through  crowd of people and INADVERTENTLY made contact with a female MP’s chest with his elbow.

Jesus Fucking Christ everybody in parliament is losing their goddamn minds over it.

Read and watch this.

So ok.  I’m not sure why Trudeau took it upon himself to go over and pull the Opposition’s party whip thorough a crowd of bitchy MPs who were blocking his path, but anybody who has watched the video can clearly see that any contact made with Ellen Brosseau is completely accidental.  He barely touched her, but her reaction was as if he punched her in the vagina on purpose just for being a woman.

Hey Ellen, FIFA called and they want to issue you a red card for acting like a total faker asshole on Parliament Hill.  3 game suspension.

Thomas Mulcair’s reaction was equally ridiculous.  “What kind of man elbows a woman?!” he shrieks into the crowd.  “You’re so pathetic!”

You know what’s pathetic, Tom?  Going from being a strong Opposition party to having about 3 seats in Parliament.  Maybe if you spent less time pointing fingers at everybody else and being a whiny cunt, and more time figuring out a way to inspire people ( Jack Layton is turning over in his fucking grave, dude) you wouldn’t be freaking out over nothing in the House of Commons.

And don’t even get me started about the Conservatives ridiculous comparisons to Trudeau’s accidental contact with Ms. Brosseau with that of a drunk driver not meaning to kill anybody.  That one even has Peter Mansbridge rolling his eyes and saying “That last one was a bit much.”

Oh.  I forgot that Trudeau also apparently said “Fuck”.  As in “Get the Fuck out of my way.”

Bravo, Mr. Prime Minister.  You are now worthy of being called a human being, despite being a politician.

The past week or so has been a total shit show for the Trudeaus.  I am no expert in psychology or in human behavior, but I do know this:

When I worked in a highly competitive, technical world, people who made mountains out of every molehill and made personal attacks against their coworkers just came out looking like total assholes.They try everything to make someone look bad because of their own insecurities.  If you want to shine, shine based on your own merit and by being excellent at your job. Shine by inspiring others. Watching all the MP’s bitch and moan and go on an on about the  incident made me embarrassed to be a Canadian.  It was like listening to a bunch of kindergarten students.  For reals.

The things that the Trudeaus have been in the news about are not the things I want to hear about.  I want to know what new laws are being made.  I want to know where our tax dollars are being spent.  I want to see the work he is doing to make this country better.

I don’t give a fuck about why the Conservatives have wet panties about something he said or what Sophie wore.  I don’t give a fuck , regardless of how entertaining it was to watch, about the near brawl that happened in the House.

Can WE PLEASE just start acting like grownups in this country?

And if we can’t, can WE PLEASE just all drink tequila until we work out our shit?

You’re All Naked In Your House Too, Right?

The other day I was out for a drink with some old friends and the conversation inevitably turned towards our children.  As we shared and laughed and vented, we started talking about nakedness.

When does it stop being appropriate to be naked in front of or with your children?  When does it stop being appropriate to let my little nudists streak around the house doing somersaults and handstands with their vaginas in the air or wieners in their hand?

Cause that happens at all of your homes too, right?

My kids love to be naked.  They only put clothes on after many many repetitions and threats.  The phrase “put your vagina away”  comes out of my mouth at least once per day.

I guess I just worry that the lack of modesty is going to turn into either some sort of weird naked thing at school next year and make my daughter the social pariah amongst her classmates.  And I also worry that some fucking sicko is gonna hurt my kid.

I know.  I know.  I need to calm down about this “putting my child’s life into the hands of strangers” thing at school in the fall.  But seriously.  What if she has trouble pulling up her pants after using the bathroom and there is no one to help her so she just decides to say fuck it and run around naked instead?

We are a naked family.  We don’t close doors, everybody knows about everybody elses junk.  I don’t want my kids to feel self conscious about themselves.  I don’t want them to think negatively or weird about their bodies.  I want them to love them, and understand that what they see in the media in terms of body image isn’t really the truth.  I want them to know what “real” peoples bodies look like and that it is okay to love themselves if they are squishy or hairy or imperfect in any way.

But I also want them to put their goods away when we have people over for dinner.

As it happens, a dear friend of mine sent me this article too:

Basically, a father had his baby in the shower with him when the child was burning with fever, trying to calm him down and help bring the fever down.  Mom thought it was a beautiful moment and captured a few photos which she then posted to Facebook.And people freaked out, because they were both naked.

Ummm.  They are in the shower. A parent.  THEIR CHILD.

Shit.  My kids are four and two and they LOVE it when I come in the bathtub with them.  It’s fun, there’s no fighting about having a bath.  It’s moments that can’t and won’t last forever.

Do we live in such a totally hyper-sexualized community that all nudity represents is someone about to get laid?  Is that why people in North America get so crazy about women breastfeeding in public?  Is THAT why girls can’t wear yoga pants or spaghetti straps to school because any amount of skin shown automatically means something sexual or inappropriate is going on?

Get a fucking grip people.

Our bodies are used for sex, yes.  But they are also used for eating tacos and riding bikes and comforting our children when they are sick.  So, my question still is, when should the family nudity start being weird?  When did you start covering up in front of your kids?  I’m pretty sure a 16 year old girl doesn’t need to see her dad grunting one out on the john, but what about a 6 year old?  When did your kids start asking for privacy?

Adulting is hard.  Parenting is worse.

 

 

 

Why Do Little Boys Have No Sense Of Self Preservation?

Is it just me, or do little boys have almost ZERO sense of self preservation?

Yesterday I spent the afternoon plucking my son off of everything.  Off the table, off the counter, off the roof of his playhouse, off of the goddamn fence that he climbing liked a caged wild animal.

UP UP UP.  All fucking day.

And then came La creme de la creme.

Right before my students show up, I am getting my violin out and just warming up for about 3 minutes when I hear a piercing scream from Buddy’s bedroom.  I figure he tried to climb on something to reach an off limits item on the top shelf again and has fallen off.

So I get up and start walking towards the stairs and out comes Buddy, holding his ear.

What the fuck?

He decided that he had boogers in his ears that needed cleaning and shoved a Q-tip in there so far that he made himself bleed. Seriously Buddy?  Da Fuck is wrong with you?

And of course I phone the nurses hot line where they are so nice but also really thorough and good at freaking you out about worse case scenario.  Hearing loss, perforated eardrum, infection.

Jesus help me.  From a Q-tip?  And apparently, you shouldn’t even use a Q-Tip to clean your ears out in the first place.  I am always the last to know all the grown up parenting things.

I decided in the end that taken him to the ER when he wasn’t even crying anymore seemed excessive, but will follow up with his doctor today.

And hopefully, in the meantime Buddy won’t try to see what happens if he cuts off a finger or plucks out an eye or something.

 

 

Dear Sophie Gregoire Trudeau: I’ll Be In Your Village

Sophie_Grégoire-Trudeau

en.wikipedia.org

As I’m sure you’ve all heard already, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, wife of our Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was heavily criticized in the media last week when she said she needed more help to be able to manage her workload and three children.

Leading the crusade were MP’s from the Conservatives and NDP parties, accusing her of being out of touch and chastising her for feeling overwhelmed.

And you know what?

Shame on both of them.  Shame on them for continuing to perpetuate the myth that women can and should have it all, do it all, take care of it all, and never complain or ask for help.

It’s almost worse to me that the two leading the negative comments and criticism are women.  Had it been a couple of old sexist men, I would have been less disgusted with the commentary.  But the fact that it is once again women shaming other women makes me seriously want to fucking puke.

Yes.  Mrs. Gregoire Trudeau already has nannies.  So what?   Every working woman has some sort of childcare arrangement. Should she be sending her children to a day home down the street or to a childcare center while she focuses on her duties to the public?  Are there 24 hour, 7 day a week arrangements that could accommodate the irregular hours and changing needs?  Should she hire a local teenager to come in and watch the kids?

Give. Me. A Break.  We are talking about the family of our head of state.

Yes, her “position” as the wife of our Prime Minister is not an official role, and not a paid one.  But there is a huge expectation that she be available for public appearances, and philanthropic and charitable work.   And let’s face it.   I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I can’t seem to remember any other spouse of a political leader in Canada who was so busy working for this country.  I can’t even tell you the name of any spouse of any former Prime Minister, but Sophie is in the news literally every other day.

So yes, I think that she probably does need more staff to continue to do the work she does.

But that’s not even my real issue with this whole thing.

Bitches, it’s okay to ask for help.

We always feel like we aren’t enough.  We need to do more, be better, learn new things, put everybody else first.  And that is such bullshit.

You just can’t do it all on your own. There is no shame in asking for reinforcements.  There is no shame for recognizing that your workload is too heavy and that you need help.  It’s okay to say no sometimes.

And that applies whether you are a single mom, a stay at home mom, a working mom, or the wife of the Prime Minister.  This attack of Sophie Gregoire Trudeau is archaic and sexist and downright so full of assholery and political agenda that I can literally smell the crap from the comfort of my living room.

So cut the shit.  I don’t care if she is asking more than any other spouse did before her.  I don’t care if Stephen Harper’s wife ” did more with less consistently.”  Why is that something we should applaud?  Why should we give less resources to the spouse of our country’s leader and perpetuate this shit that women should just saddle up and suck it up?

I don’t think this request makes her out of touch at all.  I think it makes her feel like very other working mom in the country.  Sometimes overwhelmed, always tired, torn, and normal. 

So  yes.  Give her more staff and stop bitching about it.    In fact, I personally volunteer.  They say it takes a village, and Canada is this woman’s village.

 

 

 

11 Things Men Find Attractive About A Woman

I jut read this bullshit article called “10 Things Men Find Unattractive”.

I say it’s a bullshit article because it mainly talks about hair and makeup styling.  Last time I checked, my husband barely knows what mascara is, and is certainly not going to lean in and inspect whether or not it has clumped up.  He’s not going to look at my hair when I have it pinned and styled in an updo and roll his eyes and say ” That is so unattractive

Maybe I’ve been out of the dating scene for too long, but are all the girls out there trying to date gay men?

Because they are the only demographic of men I can think of who are going to care about my hair or if my foundation is applied right or what colour my lip liner is. By the way, 1990 just called and they want their lip liner back.  Who the fuck has time to wear lip liner?

You know what actual, real live men care about and find unattractive?

Assholery.  Game playing. High maintenance chicks whose self worth is attached to their relationship.  Being a bitch. Being unappreciative when something nice is done for them.

You know what I think men find attractive about a woman?

  1. Tits.
  2. Sincerity
  3. Blowjobs
  4. Confidence
  5. Not being an asshole
  6. Liking sports
  7. Sense of humour
  8. Being able to have an intelligent conversation
  9. Willingness to be naked
  10. A lot.  Being naked a lot.
  11. Beer.  (Maybe that’s not a female trait, but most men love beer)

Listen, Bitches.  I am no relationship expert. But I know that if you are worried that your bad hair day or clumpy makeup is going to make your man find you unattractive, you are with the wrong man.

The right man will find you sexy at your best, your worst and everything in between.  Stop allowing bullshit articles like this one make you feel like your appearance is the single most important thing that people judge you and love you for. Stop allowing an impossible ideal and standard be that one unattainable thing in your life that haunts you.  Stop worrying about what you look like on the outside all the time, and spend more time working on all the things on the inside.

And learn about sports.  Men really, really like when they can watch the game with their chick.  And then show him your tits.

Sincerely,

The Nakedest, Footballest, Show Em Yout Tits-est Girl That Ever Was.

 

AfterOtis

Written by Natalie Oldham

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