This Juggling Act Can Suck It
Balance. I’ve written about balance before, and to tell you the truth, Bitches, I still can’t seem to keep the scales stable.
It feels absolutely impossible these days to balance all the things in our lives that need attention and I am feeling the burn. How? How do I figure out how much to work and how much time my little ones need? And still make time for my husband, myself, our extended family and our friends?
Compounding the usual questions is all the uncertainty coming up in the next months. How is my Destroyer going to handle kindergarten? How will this change her needs? How much will I miss her, and will she miss just getting to hang out with Buddy and I all day? And on top of THAT, there is a possibility of a change coming to the hours Husband works, which may make things easier in some ways, and harder in others.
Change is HARD, Bitches. I like to think I am adaptable, but seriously what does that even mean? If it means that I won’t curl up in a ball and just give up, I might be adaptable. Depending on the day. If it means that I embrace change and welcome new opportunities, well, fuck no. If it means we will just keep plugging along and figure things will pretty much work themselves out, that sounds a little more reasonable.
But that’s just it. I don’t want things to just work out. I want to find the perfect balance between earning enough money and feeling satisfied in my work and not missing out on anything with my kids. Which seems impossible.
Husband and I were talking the other day about how shitty it is for regular, middle class people these days. A generation ago it was feasible for a family to do ok on one income, and have one parent at home steering the ship. Nowadays, that would require enormous sacrifice and would likely make it impossible to offer any sort of enrichment activities for our kids, let alone any savings for their education.
So how, how, how do we simplify? What can we do to make it possible for us to continue to have a good standard of living while cutting back on extra costs that just really mean more hours away for me? What are your tricks, Bitches? How do you save money on groceries, utilities, housing costs?
I guess I am just tired of being tired all the time. Of feeling like I am a juggler with way too many balls in the air. And everyday I drop one of them and it turns out to be a bowling ball…way too heavy to juggle. I yell too much, the house always looks like shit, something is always broken, I forgot to return a phone call, I haven’t seen my parents, we’re having frozen pizza again etc etc etc.
Balance. Not sure if there is any such thing anymore.