This Juggling Act Can Suck It
by Cookie
Balance. I’ve written about balance before, and to tell you the truth, Bitches, I still can’t seem to keep the scales stable.
It feels absolutely impossible these days to balance all the things in our lives that need attention and I am feeling the burn. How? How do I figure out how much to work and how much time my little ones need? And still make time for my husband, myself, our extended family and our friends?
Compounding the usual questions is all the uncertainty coming up in the next months. How is my Destroyer going to handle kindergarten? How will this change her needs? How much will I miss her, and will she miss just getting to hang out with Buddy and I all day? And on top of THAT, there is a possibility of a change coming to the hours Husband works, which may make things easier in some ways, and harder in others.
Change is HARD, Bitches. I like to think I am adaptable, but seriously what does that even mean? If it means that I won’t curl up in a ball and just give up, I might be adaptable. Depending on the day. If it means that I embrace change and welcome new opportunities, well, fuck no. If it means we will just keep plugging along and figure things will pretty much work themselves out, that sounds a little more reasonable.
But that’s just it. I don’t want things to just work out. I want to find the perfect balance between earning enough money and feeling satisfied in my work and not missing out on anything with my kids. Which seems impossible.
Husband and I were talking the other day about how shitty it is for regular, middle class people these days. A generation ago it was feasible for a family to do ok on one income, and have one parent at home steering the ship. Nowadays, that would require enormous sacrifice and would likely make it impossible to offer any sort of enrichment activities for our kids, let alone any savings for their education.
So how, how, how do we simplify? What can we do to make it possible for us to continue to have a good standard of living while cutting back on extra costs that just really mean more hours away for me? What are your tricks, Bitches? How do you save money on groceries, utilities, housing costs?
I guess I am just tired of being tired all the time. Of feeling like I am a juggler with way too many balls in the air. And everyday I drop one of them and it turns out to be a bowling ball…way too heavy to juggle. I yell too much, the house always looks like shit, something is always broken, I forgot to return a phone call, I haven’t seen my parents, we’re having frozen pizza again etc etc etc.
Balance. Not sure if there is any such thing anymore.
It’s not easy, you are right. I cut corners in groceries by knowing the absolute bottom prices for things I buy that are shelf stable and only buy them then. So if our favorite cereal is on sale for $2.00 or less I will buy 8 boxes because that will get us through 6-9 weeks until the next sale cycle. I won’t buy 2 and have to pay $3.29 next week (or more). Also, when the Farmers Markets start I shop at the end of the day. The produce isn’t as pretty and they don’t want to take it back so they sometimes will cut you a great deal if you ask. If you find the balance let me know because walking this tightrope is tough!
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Great tips! Thanks for sharing!
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Ugh it is SO hard. I don’t have it all figure out but here is what we do. My husband stays home. I work. We have a small home and driver older cars. We shop at Aldi. We don’t have cable but we watch TV on the internet or Netflix. I bring my lunch. We eat out only once a week.
I say no to a lot of things and see a lot of people a lot less than I should. I HOPE this part is just temporary though. I hope as the kids get older it’s easier to do outside stuff.
It’s hard. Good luck momma.
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We’re thinking of ditching our cable too. It is seriously so expensive!
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Yay it’s nuts, and we honestly don’t miss it.
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Oh and as far as saving for the kids. Instead of toys for bdays and christmas b/c they have so much already, we ask grandparents to give to their savings accounts. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t.
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My parents have been extremely generous with helping out on this too. but I always feel guilty that they contribute more to my kids education than I can.
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For now maybe so. But if your kids are young, you’ll have a ton of time to catch up and contribute more.
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I love reading your blogs and feel like I am getting to know you through them, but I also know you don’t know me at all. I hope I never come off as offering unsolicited advice or preachy in any way, but you’ve asked for money tips so I’ll give you some things we’ve done over the years to live on one income and sacrifices we’ve made to do them.
– We moved to a small town where most things are cheaper than the city. From property taxes to kids sports… We’ve probably saved tens of thousands of dollars over the years because of this. Of course we both grew up in small towns so it wasn’t too much of a sacrifice because we like it much more than the city.
– husband took jobs in oil patch that made a large enough income it’s been the only one for us for the last 19 years. But before you dismiss everything else I say, it’s not a million dollar job… it’s averaged high five to just barely 6 figures annually. Down side is he’s on the road a lot and works long hours. But, he also never worked through Christmas break and took at least a couple weeks off in summer… A month one year. Sometimes that’s meant he had to change companies to get the break he wanted or to stay busy. However, that has also made him a ton of connections that even through this downturn he has only had four months unemployed vs. a year or more for some. And one month didn’t count because it was December and that was Christmas break, haha.
– we bought a really cheap really run down house with good “bones” right after we got married 20 years ago and slowly renovated everything as we could afford it. We did what we could ourselves but hired help when necessary. Sometimes I cooked with nothing but an electric frypan, microwave and bathroom sink while we worked on the the kitchen. For the last 10 or so years it’s been “done”.
– always been very careful not to charge anything on high interest credit cards we couldn’t pay off in one month.
– always put extra payments on loans to pay them off early when we could.
– use the “one account” plan for banking where everything goes in and out of one account with a secured line of credit at low interest being our only debt. Right now we have no debt. Seriously.
– put automatic monthly payments into rrsp’s and get big tax savings plus a retirement nest egg.
– Also started a monthly RESP plan when kids were babies.
– find used items at garage sales and thrift stores and online. Of course small town not for profit thrift stores are a little different than the city… I find the goods are superior and the prices lower in our area. If you volunteer there, you get first pick!
– accept gently used hand me down clothes for kids from friends and family and pay it forward to someone with kids smaller than yours.
– we staycation and camp with RV rather than flying to warm places.
– The RV is also husband’s home away from home whenever temps are above -10°C.
– term life, never whole life insurance.
I hope my tips help you or one of your readers.
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Costco. That’s my tip #1. Hell, a gallon of milk there is half of what it is at WalMart. And we stream everything. Sure, I can’t watch live news but who the fuck would want to anyway?
I totally get what you’re saying. I’ve said it myself dozens of times. But I get up each morning, pull up my big girl panties, take my Wellbutrin, and try to attack each day fresh. Some days that works pretty well. Other days it ends with the kids eating shitty junk food for dinner and me with my face in a box of wine. But the next day is a new opportunity….. Just try to keep laughing, yes?
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I love Costco…..but I feel like my house doesn’t have enough storage!!
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This has been a great post for all the tips as I pretty much have none! I feel like I spend way too much money on groceries for not that many people! I am quite disciplined about not buying myself clothes etc or I was until Eric actually gave me some money set aside for it! I am in a fortunate position where Eric does earn good money so it isn’t bad if I don’t work or just earn a trickle. We really need to sit down and work it all out with a budget now the baby is coming along though.
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I feel like everytime I plan to go and buy myself something new to wear, I just spend it on the kids, lol. I’m doomed to embarrass my kids and have a closet full of “Mom Jeans”.
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