Why Do Little Boys Have No Sense Of Self Preservation?

by Cookie

Is it just me, or do little boys have almost ZERO sense of self preservation?

Yesterday I spent the afternoon plucking my son off of everything.  Off the table, off the counter, off the roof of his playhouse, off of the goddamn fence that he climbing liked a caged wild animal.

UP UP UP.  All fucking day.

And then came La creme de la creme.

Right before my students show up, I am getting my violin out and just warming up for about 3 minutes when I hear a piercing scream from Buddy’s bedroom.  I figure he tried to climb on something to reach an off limits item on the top shelf again and has fallen off.

So I get up and start walking towards the stairs and out comes Buddy, holding his ear.

What the fuck?

He decided that he had boogers in his ears that needed cleaning and shoved a Q-tip in there so far that he made himself bleed. Seriously Buddy?  Da Fuck is wrong with you?

And of course I phone the nurses hot line where they are so nice but also really thorough and good at freaking you out about worse case scenario.  Hearing loss, perforated eardrum, infection.

Jesus help me.  From a Q-tip?  And apparently, you shouldn’t even use a Q-Tip to clean your ears out in the first place.  I am always the last to know all the grown up parenting things.

I decided in the end that taken him to the ER when he wasn’t even crying anymore seemed excessive, but will follow up with his doctor today.

And hopefully, in the meantime Buddy won’t try to see what happens if he cuts off a finger or plucks out an eye or something.