Take Your Theory On “Crying It Out” and Suck It

by Cookie


As I continue to accept the fact that we are not having anymore babies, I can also celebrate the fact that I don’t have to deal with figuring out how to put a new baby to bed.  I don’t have to do the wake up every two hours and feed the baby thing.  I don’t have to rock any babies to sleep or pray anyone naps or whatever.

Don’t get me wrong.  I fucking HATE bedtime.  Bedtime is easily the hardest part of the day…so close to a bit of adult time, yet still having to negotiate my way through storytime, brushing their teeth, terrified of the dark almost five year olds, and snuggling while they fall asleep.

In fact, bedtime can just suck it.

Unless you’re Bestie.  Bestie always manages to get them to go to sleep at like 7pm and makes it look all easy.  I’ve tried so hard to get her to move in.  SO HARD.

Anyway, despite the fact that I can possibly see a light at the end of the tunnel, I keep bumping into all these articles about “Crying It Out”

All this “research” telling us how much we fucked up our children.  Oh…..wait……there’s new “research” saying that it’s really not that bad…….just kidding again……you have ruined your child’s brain chemistry and not only will they be an eternal asshole, they will suffer brain damage and forever live in your house…..wait, no……


First of all, who the hell is funding all these “studies”  and why do we feel it is necessary to continue to research what we already know will be the result?

The result being, of course, that every baby has different needs and exhausted moms will continue to do whatever works in order to survive no matter what your fucking research says.

The other result being, of course, that a whole new generation of burnt out, self doubting moms will feel like total shit about what they tried to do to help themselves and their child get a decent nights rest.  That each new study serves to do one thing at the end of the day.  To undermine the already waning confidence that each new parent has about whether or not they are doing what’s best for their family.

And no matter what your fucking “research” says, moms will continue to beat each other up on both sides of the argument and shame each other for their choices.  They will each reference a different article supporting their assault on one another.

And you know what?

It doesn’t actually matter what the experts say.  Because you  know who is the expert when it comes to my child?


So you go ahead and decide whether or not it’s ok for your baby to cry it out or not.  You go ahead and decide how your life is going to play out and stop trying to influence me into doing things your way.

I just wish that researchers would stop spending money doing these fucking “You Suck At Parenting” studies and actually research something worthwhile.   Like how to cure childhood cancer.  Or cystic fibrosis.  Or maybe just fund projects that help moms realize that they are doing the best job they can and give them a place where they can go to share their frustrations or get a break if they are feeling worn out.

Why don’t we take all this money from these useless, shame inducing “studies” and build some goddamn villages around ourselves?

Rant over.