Your Dietary Choices Are A Pain In The Ass. And So Are Mine.

by Cookie


Everywhere you turn these days, someone has got an allergy.  Or a sensitivity.  Or an ethical dilemma.

It’s makes it real hard to eat with people sometimes.

I mean, I get it.  We shouldn’t eat peanuts around people who die when they hang out with peanuts.  We shouldn’t let a Celiac person eat gluten because you have not had the shits until you are a Celiac sufferer shitting after eating gluten.  We shouldn’t sneak vegetarians meat with the good intention of given them a bit of protein.  Not even if its bacon.

Husband and I have just started low carbing again.  It’s become a family tradition.  We eat spaghetti and crockpot deliciousness all winter and keep warm under layers of new fat. Kinda like bears.  And then in the summer we bbq and eat salad every day and all the winter fat magically disappears so that some of our pants fit again.

But it makes it not as fun to eat with us right now, because we’re being kinda strict about it.  So we’re not making any dinner plans at the moment.


My point is this:  Can we all find a way to respectful of one anothers dietary requirements, without demanding everyone around us to change their lives for us?

There are so many people out there who have life threatening conditions that we need to be careful of.  I am terrified of even letting my kids eat peanut butter for breakfast in case there are some bits of it leftover somewhere and then they go and play with a poor kid with a peanut allergy and send them to the hospital.  Because kids lick each other and don’t understand about personal space.

BUT.  There are a lot of people out there who simply make choices about their lifestyles and expect the world to bend over backwards the facilitate those choices.

Like, if you come to an Italian restaurant and refuse to eat garlic, I just don’t know what to do to help you besides console you in your assholery and wish that you would just go somewhere else.

We have to be reasonable here, people.  Things like eating in restaurants are really nice, but if you go to a mainstream place and have a million dietary restrictions, stop getting mad when that place can’t accommodate you.  Don’t be pissy if you only have one or two options on the menu.  It’s not a life or death situation.  ( for some people it is, but not for you)

You have a right to eat however you want, in your own home.  

The only aversion I really have is towards assholes.  I don’t really care how you live your life, as long as you’re not an asshole about it.  And that includes trying to make everybody do what you do because you are the smartest and have done all the research and I’m doing everything wrong.

I’m actually kinda sick of all the experts on the internet about all the things.  Share information, sure.  Trade stories, sure.  But don’t be an asshole.

So, if you have an allergy, or are somebody with an honest to God problem with gluten, Celaic or non Celiac, my condolences.  That sucks.  It’s annoying.

But if you are a fad hopper and just generally being a pain in the ass, keep your assholery at home.  Is there some sort of cleanse you can do for that?  For assholery?

A one week fast of all things dickish?

Here’s to hoping.