I’ll Get Off My Phone When You Get Off Your High Horse

by Cookie

How come every time I read an article about some kid that acted like a dick on the playground, there’s always some comment like “that parent needs to get off their phone and pay attention….”

How about you get off your high horse and I’ll think about getting off my phone?

Look.  Kids are assholes sometimes.  They have no gift of foresight and therefore very little success at predicting consequences to their actions.  They are impulsive and impatient and have a difficult time waiting their turn.

They each play differently.  There are different dynamics in each household depending on how many kids there are, the parent’s work situation, each individual’s values and beliefs.

And here’s a news flash:  Your rules are not necessarily my rules.

Sure, hitting and pushing and cutting are not acceptable and they are addressed.

But if you’re gonna get all wet because someone elses kid is climbing up the slide versus just sliding down, that’s not on my hit list.  Sure, the slide is designed to go down, but I like to see kids think and play outside the box.  I like to see my kids play creatively and try things out because they like to explore all the possibilities.

And 9 times out of 10, the kids will work shit out on their own.

And 10 times out of 10, if my kids or yours is acting like a right asshole, it has nothing to do with me returning an email or a text to a client.

Remember when we were kids, and our parents just kicked us out of the house to play and called us in for dinner?  Remember when our toys weren’t allowed to be strewn all over and we had to find a way to entertain ourselves and solve our own problems once in a while?

Do you remember how our parents managed to stay out of our assholes long enough keep the house clean and cook real meals and NOT play with us all the time?

And do you remember how smart phones didn’t exist then?

I take my kids to parks and indoor play attractions all the time.  And part of the reason I am able to do that is because I am self employed and choose the hours that I work.  And unfortunately for all you Up The Ass style parents out there, it means that my phone comes too so I can manage a few things while I’m out and take the odd phone call.

I’m just gonna lay it on the line:  I don’t WANT to go on the play structure.  I don’t want to be crouched over or upside down or sit down on the slide and get dirt all over my pants.  I’ll push you on a swing and maybe even swing myself, but I don’t go to the park to play.

I go so my kids can play.  I go to tire them out.  I go in hopes that they might meet other kids to play with and learn how to interact with them independently.  I go to give myself a break from being climbed on or nagged or needed every second.  And sometimes, I check my phone.  Sometimes that might coincide with my kid acting like a dick.

And then, Bitches, I put my fucking phone away and address what needs addressing.

I feel like the internet is just one big parental bullying ground.  Every time I turn on the computer, I am reading about another way I am doing it wrong and about some tight ass dickwad explaining how everything I do is fucking up my kids.  Every choice I make makes me a shittier parent than I felt like before.

So yeah.  How about you guys worry about that high horse you’re stuck on, and I’ll worry about everything else.