Sorry I’ve been kinda absentee lately, Bitches.
I’ve been at the beach.
Literally. We have spent the summer in and out of the city and hanging out as a family. We are super lucky to have a family cottage where we can just escape from all the people and all the things and just decompress.
In theory anyway. It’s not completely stress free spending 24 hours a day with your children with no work or grocery store or girls nights to escape to.
But that’s another post.
Do you know how many bathing suits I own?
Of the seven, five are bikinis, and 2 are one pieces.
The one pieces I hardly ever wear and actually bought for doing the baby swimming lessons when I was still pretty post partum. Like they hid something. Like anybody cared. I just felt like a one piece was a little more appropriate for that environment.
But once outside? Fuck it. I am not spending a day peeling a one piece bathing suit on and off to use the bathroom. And anybody who’s had a baby knows how often that happens once you have kids, right? Let’s just say that if I lived in the US, I could probably sue them for the damage they did to my bladder. And that’s not even including the whole “cross your legs when you sneeze” thing.
And of the 5 bikinis, 3 of them are cheap suits that look good, but are starting to get a little stretched out or see through, but are good enough for a private beach. Because nobody gives a fuck out there.
I bought one ridiculously expensive suit two years ago that helped to “disguise” the wreck that was my lower abdomen after Buddy was born. It’s one of those ones with a little skirt. Beautiful, but sometimes the extra material on the skirt is fucking aggravating.
And the last one was a suit I bought years ago, before my breast reduction and way before we had kids. I’ve kept the bottoms all these years because they were really good quality, fit well and were black, but the top was useless. So yesterday, I went on a quest to find a beautiful, high end top that I could pair with the bottoms. Think of those cute mismatched suits.
I found one at the specialty store. The place with the fancy French lingerie and bathing suits where the saleslady can’t wait to get in that change room with you and wrestle your titties into a fancy bathing suit top or bra. They also love to shatter your dreams when they look at you and just by eyeballing your tits through a sundress, guess your bra size and it was nothing like what you thought it was.
Did you know that titties can grow back after you have a breast reduction? Because babies?
Because always babies.
They ruin everything. Even your titties. Sigh.
I bought this beautiful top to pair with the bottoms I had and came home to try the ensemble on together.
The pre baby bottoms with the post baby top.
And Bitches, a little self doubt crept in.
And then you know what happened?
My little Buddy came over to me and said “You’re so pretty Mama.”
“Your hair is pretty. And your eyes are pretty. And your arms are pretty. And your tummy is pretty. And your lips are pretty. And your legs are pretty. “
So the three year old teaches the lesson we should all remember today. If only we could see ourselves through the eyes of our children. Their perception is so innocent, but it is also uncensored and truthful.
I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to hear his little voice say those words to me. It was the purest, most untarnished compliment I have ever received. He doesn’t care if there is a lump or a bump somewhere, or if my tummy jiggles in places or if my thighs touch.
He just sees me through eyes of love…..and so should I .
And so should you.