In The Old Days….Kids Still Shit Their Pants At 3 Too.

by Cookie

In the Old Days, and by that I mean before there was such a thing as social media, how did you do it, Bitches?

And by IT I mean, how did you raise your children without:

  • having a heart attack
  • feeling judged
  • getting SOME decent advice
  • complaining to the universe
  • venting
  • hating better moms than you
  • being told how you’re doing it wrong

Because honestly, I love social media.  Sometimes I hate it when women are being total cunts about all the things I am doing to raise my kids, but usually it’s pretty helpful.

I was just having a free for all rant/advice thread on my Facebook page about the frustrations of potty training, and really, everyone kept it helpful and nice and nobody made me feel like an asshole at all.  Which was kinda cool because I already feel like that anyway.

But THEN, I had a lovely private conversation with an awesome girl about her struggles, and she made a comment about how she wonders if all the people with late pottiers ( is that a word?) are just not saying anything because they feel embarrassed.


For sure they are.

Whenever I go out to some thing with kids, there is always some woman talking about how they started potty training at 8 months and how wonderfully easy it was.  It’s like some sort of sign of brilliant parenting.

But what if it isn’t?  What if you read all the books and go to all the playgroups and learn from these great moms and try so hard with stickers and candy and praise and dedication?

And the truth is that you kid just really still is more comfortable shitting their pants than going on the toilet?  What if the truth is that the age your kid learns to piss on the pot is NOT indicative of your ability as a parent or the future career path of your little genius?

I wonder if you took a class of Harvard graduates and asked them each what age they stopped shitting their pants if their answers would vary?

I don’t know.  I know that potty training is annoying and frustrating and that I appreciate all the things that people offered in order to help me.  But honestly, the thing that helped me the most were the moms and dads who were just honest about how it really is, and shared things with me openly.  It’s nice to know that if you suck at something, there are others in your village who suck just as bad.

And lived to tell about it.