The Double Sink Life

by Cookie

If there is any silver lining to the past few days while I have lied in a fever induced near death state, or at least a wish for death state, it is that this is the time of year where tv channels have marathons of all the things.

First it was The Walking Dead.  That on was harder to follow as I made trips back and forth to the bathroom during my stomach flu.  But also “Untold Stories of the ER” in which I got to see a man fall off a roof and land his face on a crowbar.   It made my gastro thing not seem so bad.

BUT, luckily for me, one day after recovering from my annual New Year’s Vomit Fest ( no it wasn’t from drinking, it started before I could even have one glass of wine) I succumbed to a lovely case of strep throat.

And with my new death spiral firmly settled, there was a new marathon:

House Hunters/House Hunters International

And if I learned one thing from watching this show, it’s this:

Americans are completely fucking obsessed with double sinks in the ensuite bathroom.

Why is that, exactly?

I mean, every other person on that show who isn’t from the states could give a single fuck about how many sinks are in the ensuite bathroom.

“Oh that’s just not going to work with both of us getting ready in the morning”

I mean, seriously.   What in the hell are you two doing in the sink in the morning that you can’t wait your fucking turn?  Are you bathing in the goddamn sink? Brushing your teeth lasts 2 minutes.    You can’t go find a pair of socks or start the coffee while your husband gargles some Listerine and wait a minute?   Your life will be ruined?

I mean, what a dealbreaker.

How would you feel if you knew that we are a family of four that has the horrible tribulation of one full bathroom with one sink?  With NO ENSUITE off the “master bedroom”.  With just a half bath off the rec room that also only has one sink.

How did we get here, folks?  How did we become that spoiled and ridiculous and in need of such immediate gratifications that we can’t figure out how to share one fucking sink in the bathroom?

Get a grip.  First World problems, assholes of the universe.   Figure your shit out.

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