ihaveanopinionidliketoshare

thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Month: January, 2018

Women’s Rights Are Same As Men’s Rights. Also Known As *Rights* You Idiotic POS.

Courtland-Sykes-for-Senate-I-Like-Sykes-Missouri_10

Have you fucking read THIS?

Read it.  From start to finish, including the statement from the US Senate candidate that the article is about.

If you are a Republican, or Trump supporter, or in any way have your head literally stuck so far up your ass that you cannot see what is sitting RIGHT in front of you amidst the smoke and mirrors and self serving propaganda utter bullshit that comes out of the POTUS’s mouth, read this.

If you are a woman, read this.

And then get angry.

Look, women can be homemakers or stay at home parents if they want to.   I have written so many times about the struggle of balancing career and family.  I am of the opinion that if one parent can stay at home or work part time, or you can modify your work life in any way so that your children have the benefit of spending more time with a parent than another caregiver, do that.   I am ALSO of the opinion that those are things that a woman can decide for herself, without the government stepping in and deciding what her fucking role in life is.

There is a lot of pride in staying home with your children.  It’s hard, often thankless work.   It’s emotionally exhausting some days and extremely rewarding the next.   And if you choose and are financially able to make this work for your family, I respect and support that choice.

In no way does that diminish a woman’s right to choose if this is the life she ultimately wants, and in no way does this give men in  Washington, or Ottawa or London or wherever the reigns in making that decision for them.  In no way does this diminish the world’s need for women in top decision making roles for their countries or communities.

It doesn’t make them “career obsessed banshees” and it ALSO doesn’t mean that a man can’t have a home cooked meal at 6:00pm every night, because last time I checked he can cook it his damn self.

Aren’t we past this yet? When are men like Courtland Sykes going to stop thinking that women are around just to make their lives easier? When are men going to realize that women standing up and saying we are not objects or toys or prizes to be won and manipulated doesn’t make us anti men, it makes us anti abuse?

The patriarchy are getting scared, because they want to keep women in the subordinate, supportive roles.   And its really because they know they can’t do it alone and aren’t reasonable and mature enough to share the credit and say thank you.  They want all the credit for everything even though they barely do half the work.  And maybe, they are terrified that they are replaceable by women doing a better job then they are, when the world keeps seeing the same old problems over and over again and perhaps women offer a different perspective and solution.

Oh Hell no, Mr. Sykes.

This is finished, you are right about that.   But it’s not feminism that’s finished.   Every time a man says shit like this you just poured liquid gas on a fire that is rapidly approaching everything you have known for a very long time.   And we are about to burn that shit down.

 

 

 

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It’s A Gun Problem, But It’s Not Just A Gun Problem

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https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/1/24/1735744/-Man-outraged-by-11th-school-shooting-this-year-posts-This-is-Bailey-Holt-GOD-DAMMIT-LOOK-AT-HER?detail=facebook

I don’t even really know what to say.

Here’s the thing.  The US isn’t the only place where regular people like you and me have access to firearms.   We are a responsible, gun owning family.   Our guns are locked up in steel safes that require a fingerprint, an access code or a key (which we keep hidden) to open.   We don’t fuck around, because not only do I have children, but there are other people’s children in my house.

But why then, do we not have the gun violence, particularly in schools, like they do in the US?

Why is this the answer people run to to solve their problems?   How do we go from those kids are assholes to I’m gonna go shoot up a school and steal someone’s child from them? When did shooting people become a solution to your problems?

Its guns, but its just not guns.   Its that we are afraid to discipline our kids.   We are afraid to hurt their feelings or teach them how to resolve shit directly because somebody might get offended.  We are so afraid of honesty and human connection and empathy that our course of action has become to simply just eliminate the problem.

This is a gun problem, but its not just a gun problem.   We live in a culture that glorifies violence in movies, and tv.   We live in a culture where we feel like the only way to protect ourselves is with violence.  We live in a culture where we have forgotten how to pay attention to the signs our kids are giving us because we are just so busy all the goddamn time.

We live in a time where the lawmakers are busy pissing around trying to make the other guy look bad so they can’t be bothered to solve any of the real issues plaguing their country.

We live in a place where you can’t buy a kinder surprise egg or a exersaucer on wheels because its too dangerous but you can buy a gun to keep in your home.

I don’t know what the solution is.   Because its a gun problem, but it’s also a people problem.  We are so fucked up.   We are broken and incapable of being human to one another.   People who aren’t broken by something don’t walk into a school and start shooting up their classmates.

And unfortunately, if you wait around for some asshole in Washington to finally decide that nobody can buy guns and think that will magically fix the violence that is plaguing the US, you will be waiting a really really long time.

This isn’t going away unless we change the dynamic in our homes and in our lives.   And if somewhere along the way the people in charge of shit pull their head out of their asses long enough to contribute by toughening up their gun restrictions, that would be really fucking helpful too.

Sleep well, Bailey.

 

No Mr.Trump, The Women’s March Wasn’t About The Lowest Female Unemployment In 18 Years

toronto-women-s-march-2018

You know, a couple of generations ago, women were struggling to find their place in society.   We struggled to emerge from predominantly being the keepers and managers of our homes and families to join the work force and be accepted more regularly in fields that were saturated with men.  We were struggling with the choice to accept our current roles in the home or to evolve into something more.   Something that equaled our partners.

And then once women were seen more and more in the workforce we struggled with being heard.   With feeling like our ideas and theories and methods were not only as valid as our male counterparts, but perhaps sometimes superior.    And then we struggled to be compensated equally for equal contributions.   And we still struggle with that today.

So no, feminism for me doesn’t have anything to do with how many women hold this office or that office.  It doesn’t have to do with Trump’s claim that we have the lowest female unemployment in 18 years.   We already covered that part of feminism.   We are part of the work force, duh.     Stop taking credit for work begun and accomplished by others.

And no, being able to list a bunch of women that hold office or *high powered* positions in government doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me when overall the percentage of women in US government is only 24.9%, and men outnumber women 2 to 1 as White House aides.    Last time I checked we account for about 50% of the population.  That’s not equal representation, that’s some representation and it still needs work.

So what does feminism mean to me?

It would mean a world where I didn’t have to keep my keys between my knuckles when I walk out side from my campus studio to my car.   It would mean not making a point to look behind me if I hear footsteps so that I can look a would-be attacker in the eye and let them know I saw them.

It would mean not feeling like I should take one of the treadmills that has only a wall behind it, so that when I stretch after a run some guy behind me isn’t watching me bend over.   So he doesn’t think that the reason I am stretching is actually for his benefit.

It would mean not hearing my boss make a hiring decision based on whether or not that girl had a nice smile.

It would mean people not asking me who’s taking care of my children while I’m at work.  Like it’s so hard to fathom that maybe they are with their father, who is an excellent dad and equally competent to watch his own kids.

It would mean being seen for your merits without bias.

It would mean that my daughter never has to fight to be heard or seen or valued.   That nothing but her hard work and merit helps her attain her goals.  That no man would ever fathom to try and take advantage of her.

It would mean that the word *No* is the end of a conversation, rather than the beginning of a negotiation.  It would mean that men would understand that they cannot use force, or threat, or sex to intimidate a woman to get what they want.   And that women don’t feel like their greatest asset to attain what they want is their sexuality.

Because that’s kinda what it comes down to, isn’t it?   Feminism for me, at this moment is most meaningful as a movement to help men understand that they cannot and no longer will try to control a woman and /or her body.   From reproductive rights and care, to sexual misconduct and rape.  And everything in between.

Get away from our vaginas, stay out of our uteri, and get the fuck over our breasts already.   That’s what feminism means for me right now.

So yes, it was a beautiful day for the Women’s March yesterday, Mr. Trump.   Too bad you don’t understand the context of it AT ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AfterOtis

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