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Category: Humor

An Irritated Rant About the Fact that you DO NOT HAVE A MEDICAL EXEMPTION

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I am getting pretty fucking tired of this Anti-Vaxx merry-go-round that seems to be spinning faster and faster.

First, the excuse was that the vaccine was made too quickly. That was quickly addressed by the decades of research, the three phases of clinical trial and the billions of doses administered safely worldwide so far.

Next up is the “I don’t know what is in it” bowl of nonsensical horseshit. Check your aspirin bottle. Or the box on your last heat and serve meal. You can’t pronounce the ingredients listed there nor do you have any idea what most of them do either.

Oh and the moral objection to fetal cell lines because you are pro-life? That fetus died fifty years ago, no cells that were from a living breathing human were ever used in vaccine production, you seem to have no moral objection to systems that were built on exploitation or racism that make your life better, the Pope says it’s ok and honestly just fucking STOP IT.

But my favourite, MY FAVOURITE is the medical exemption.

You don’t have a medical exemption. You jut don’t. I don’t give a fuck what your herbalist or crystal dealer or woo-fuckery practioner says, you just don’t.

I don’t give a fuck if you have eczema, or had diaper rash as a baby. I don’t give a fuck if you had a concussion once upon a time or once had a heart palpitation or maybe you’re going bald. Your saddlebags don’t count and neither do the bags under your eyes. And your concerns about side effects are nothing compared to the side effects that are awaiting you due to your utter stupidity and willingness to die on a hill of ignorance.

You are completely full of shit and grasping at straws, and at SOME POINT, you are going to run out of football field and will have nowhere left to move the goalposts.

CBC ran an article today about a woman with “chemical sensitivities” and is squawking that the medical exemption scope needs to be expanded. Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t, but I’ll tell you what: I can’t handle the smell of oven cleaner or a regualar dose of Ativan either so my chemical sensitivity is pretty high too. Good thing the vaccine is made out of shit that breaks down in your body quicker than a hit of ecstasy or valerian root tea instead of paint thinner and formaldehyde or whatever the fuck you think you know about it but don’t.

It’s fucking BALLS that pretty much every person I know wailing about medical exemptions or worries about fertility or however else their anxiety disorder is choosing to manifest have not even SEEN their doctor to discuss their concerns. They have self diagnosed and based their decisions on the propaganda they see on the fucking internet: which has been perpetrated by crackpots who stand to gain financially from the amount of traffic on their websites BUT have zero background in reproductive biology or biology of any kind. If your car broke down, would you take it to a bank teller to get fixed? Pull your fucking head out of your ass. Get information from people who have verifiable information to give you.

So no. You don’t have a medical exemption. Reasons to not get vaccinated, other than ignorance and downright bullheadedness are exceedingly rare. You have concerns and questions- which may even be valid, but they are questions for your DOCTOR. Who you haven’t seen yet. And who knows better than you do because of the whole medical school/residency thing.

Go see your doctor. Stop listening to uneducated Doomsday preppers living on farms and fucking their cousins. This is stupid.

A rage post dedicated to Brian Pallister

You know, I have been trying to write these nicely balanced articles full of good points that are blunt without hearing about the language I use, but I am pretty much over that today.

This is a rage piece, so if you aren’t here for that, I won’t take it personally. If you are a pearl clutcher, know that I will continue to use grown up words in a grown up place and you can either put on your big girl panties or complain about it to someone who isn’t me.

Manitoba is fucking bullshit right now.

I am so sick and tired of a government that is so clearly gaslighting people and vote pandering with their “keeping our promises” posts and throwing out some seemingly really terrific bones that seem to always come with conditions that end up bending you over and assaulting your back door.

It wouldn’t feel half as insulting or half as terrible if Brian Pallister would just seriously shut the FUCK up. Every time that guy opens his smug, arrogant mouth, teachers and health care workers everywhere both alive and dead collectively vomit into their own mouths or roll over twice in their graves asking Jesus to just rain down Armageddon already.

Look Brian. I get it. It’s been a real shit time to be in charge of anything. Someone is always going to be pissed off at you. But right now, TODAY, even the people who fucking like you think you are an absolute piece of shit.

Exhibit A: Today a reporter asked you “Does it bother you that teachers have to pay out of their own pockets for supplies?”

To which you replied “It doesn’t bother me at all…..I’ve watched teachers invest their own money out of their own pocket for decades now and I just think this is a good fair incentive to encourage other teachers to do the same.”

Once I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I wondered if you had ANY idea how enraged people- not just teachers- were going to be about those words?

And really, the answer is zero. You are so fully out of touch with the people of this province and such an arrogant fool that you couldn’t even muster up the foresight to imagine how ignorant this statement was.

Your government claims it will be investing record funding into education with this budget, and yet not two months ago a 1.6% cut was announced, which is forcing school divisions to slash their budgets. This will not only leave them chronically understaffed, but programs that provide the little bit of equity that is attainable like milk programs are on the chopping block. Teachers have been in contract negotiations since 2018, and I would bet my ass that Bill 64 will undermine the collective bargaining abilities from divisions once they cease to exist. Education support staff are heroes that are having their wages frozen while you and your gang will enjoy an increase that is retroactive to April 2020.

NO. Teachers should not be paying for classroom supplies out of their own pockets. If they do, I think the rebate you meant to offer is 100% reimbursement, not 15% of up to 1000$. It is a public system. They are not private contractors. Offering a tax refund so you have yet another reason to underfund the system is a dick move and you know that. And just because it has been happening for decades doesn’t make it right. It continues to create more inequity in the system.

There is so much contradiction in everything you do and say. You continually fuck things up and then act like a dick about it in press conferences to deflect from your deficiencies as a leader. You love to call people by their first names while we must address you by your title, MR. PREMIER, in order to try and diminish their status or credibility and don’t think for one second it doesn’t go unnoticed.

The last time a Conservative government treated healthcare workers and teachers like absolute shit it was the beginning of their own demise. 17 years of NDP governance followed-because that’s how long it took to people to forget.

We have two years until the next election cycle, Brian, and trust me, we won’t forget. Your legacy will ultimately be the downfall of you own party and you will be nothing but a series of bitchy memes people use to make fun of terrible leaders.

PS: take a warm bath and have a fucking drink or something. You always look like you just got electrocuted.

Surprise, surprise, the vaccination process is a mess too.

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SOMEONE has to help me understand this ridiculous dumpster fire of a vaccination rollout.

As with everything in this province introduced by this poorly prepared, short sighted and self congratulatory, Trumpesque government, the delivery of vaccines has fallen somewhere between an inconsistent process and a total mess.

All over social media we are hearing that some people are in and out in 30 minutes, while others wait in hours long lineups snaking through super centres and all the way across city blocks outdoors.

I keep reading that those who are visiting pop up sites in smaller communities like Morden are having positive experiences (thank god!) while those who are booking their appointments here in the city are absolutely not. Anyone with some reasonable vision could see from the beginning of the organization of such large scale vaccination sites were going to be a nightmare and they were better off with smaller scale, local community sites that served smaller populations.

Hey! Wait! Local administration works better than a large centralized one? Sounds familiiar-*throat clears* Bill 64– but that is a different post.

So my Dad had his appointment yesterday in the late afternoon. He arrived 20 minutes prior to his appointment to be sure he had time to check in. When he got there, the lineup outside the Convention Centre was a couple blocks long. In 80 km/hr wind gusts. It took about 30 minutes just to get inside the building. For the next hour he gradually moved along like one bull in a cattle herd up and around all levels, until he finally reached the space where the vaccinations took place.

His comments: The amount of space dedicated for vaccine spots were only about half full. There about 4 times the amount of volunteers on crowd control then people available to administer the vaccines, which seemed useless because the paths were clearly marked. While the online booking system was seamless, the actual logistics of the site was poorly organized and managed, they booked way too many appointments for what they could realistically manage and in his words “whoever is responsible for the logistical design and process of the site should be fired”.

So, this is 5 days after the supposed “scheduling glitch” occurred and Dr. Reimer has assured us it had been rectified, with wait times back down to 10-20 minutes. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I suppose we could always decide to drive 3 hours round trip to Morden for a more positive experience. I mean, a smooth, well run operation designed to serve the local population, right there in the political base of the governing party? You don’t say.

I also enjoyed the Minister of Health’s video post over the weekend telling us what a great job she was doing getting Manitobans vaccinated. Really? We have more vaccines in storage than you can get into arms, we are about to lose the race against the variants, and you want us all to pat you on the back and say job well done? While you scream about Justin Trudeau and lack of vaccine supply? Last week we had received about 248K doses of vaccine, with about 157K administered. With ANOTHER 123K arriving this week? Over the weekend you managed to vaccinate something around 3000 people in total. Does that sound like we have a supply issue?

I’d argue that we have a competence issue, but that’s just me.

You want to figure out how to get as many people in and out in the shortest amount of time while keeping them happy? Someone get an Olive Garden Manager and a team of hosts in there and this problem will be cleared up before you can say Hospitaliano! (sarcasm- mostly)

Once you have emptied your freezers and have people waiting to book appointments, cry about supply as loud as you need to, and I’ll even cry with you . Otherwise, I’d suggest closing your mouth and fixing this latest mess.

If we could just get some accountability, some transparency or maybe even a little truth from our leaders right now, a lot of us would be a little less angry.

Don’t you guys care about us? Don’t answer that.

Apparently, Diva Cups and tampons ain’t got nothing on USB sticks in Manitoba

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Is anyone else confused about the statements made by the Hon. Cathy Cox when Uzoma Asagwara asked her whether or not the Conservative government would commit to making menstrual products accessible for all students in Manitoba Schools? The question was direct, but the answer seemed to be speaking about a completely different topic. Minister Cox rambled on about providing funding for USB data blockers to ensure safety while charging their computers or phones. As far as I know, no young woman has attempted to use a USB stick or a laptop as a substitute for a feminine hygiene product, and I am absolutely dumbfounded by the answer that was given.

Was this simply an avoidance tactic regarding a topic she had no satisfactory answer to, or does Minister Cox not know the difference between a vagina and a charging port? C’mon, honey….one is between your legs and the other is generally on top of a workspace. Unless…nevermind.

I mean, yes, they both have a few common characteristics. Both are holes that from time to time, need filling. One is typically smaller and more appropriate for the workplace. One is usually safe to play with in water, while the other may pose an unnecessary risk when wet.

Does anyone else feel a tad concerned that the Minister of “……and the Status of Women” was asked about the accessibility of menstrual products for students in our province, and she talked about keeping women safe from online dangers? Is it because of lockdown? Are the rules so strict that even Aunt Flo had to do virtual visits and Minister Cox is worried about women being conned by hackers?

Or am I missing the latest? I mean, is there some information available out there regarding the absorbency of USB sticks? Do they come in different sizes? Is there an applicator? Are they biodegradable? Can I safely use a data blocker on heavy flow days without worrying about leaks or embarrassing accidents? Will my IPhone help prevent toxic shock syndrome when safely charged?

Alternatively, perhaps Minister Cox felt uncomfortable with the topic. Perhaps she felt ashamed of menstrual cycles or didn’t want to offend any men in the room with period talk. Maybe the word vagina has been stricken from allowed language in the Legislature.

Or, maybe a tad more likely, there was an unwillingness by our government to address real concerns that are limiting to women, particularly those in challenging economic situations. Perhaps they forget that education is the best tool we have in preventing poverty cycles and that if young girls and women are having to miss school because they have their periods one week out of four, then in the spirit of equity we should support the solution- which is to make them available at school.

It really wasn’t a hard question, and the either ignorant or intentional avoidance of a conversation that should have been so obviously easy was fucking ridiculous.

DO BETTER.

Bedtime Is The Biggest Asshole I Know

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You what time it is, Bitches.    That time where all you want is a little piece and quiet after a full day of tiny human taming.   You need a solid hour with a glass of wine, an episode of The Bachelor, and no other humans talking to you or each other before your exhausted body just collapses on the pillow.

And then Storytime is a dick.   Put On Your Pajama Time sucks a fat one.   Brush Your Teeth Time is a total whore and then actual Bedtime is a steaming asshole that just will not give you a break.

What is it about bedtime that makes kids act like the most annoying humans on the planet?   Aren’t they tired?  Aren’t they excited to go to sleep and replenish their energy in order to face another day of keeping other humans alive and doing all the glamorous things like laundry and cooking and toilets in between working a paid job?   Oh. Wait.

That’s me.

Honestly, MY bedtime is my favourite part of any day.   It’s better than toast ( and I fucking love toast) and a good book or a glass of wine or sex or anything I can think of these days.

I am so tired.  And my tiny humans will not fucking go to sleep.

Bedtime is a real asshole.  The biggest one I’ve ever met.

And then when Bedtime sucks, the next day sucks, because everyone is tired and Mommy didn’t get any alone time and here we are ALL OVER AGAIN with me fantasizing about MY bedtime, while wishing I cold hire a bedtime nanny 7 days a week.   I love spending time with my kids except when I have to put them to bed by myself.

And if you want to talk about The Hour Between Dinner And Bedtime, we need a whole other post for that motherfucker, because he is almost as relentless.

This shit gets easier, right?

Fuckety Fuck Fuck Fuck

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I saw this brilliant piece of art the other day and posted it to my Facebook wall.  And it got me thinking, you know, as shit like this tends to do.

I swear a lot.   It’s worked its way into my vocabulary just as casually as putting on a sweater.  I use the word fuck as an adjective, a noun, a verb, an adverb and pop it into any sentence that needs a little emphasis or colouring.

Now, since I am 100% against assholery, I am able to omit it in certain settings.   I turn it of when working with children or at my bartending job.  But I swear around my own children.  Because its my house and I make the rules here.

I tell my kids that saying “grown up” words is one of those things that you have be a grown up to use.  And that even when you use them, you have to make sure you know your audience.

For example:  Going to a job interview and dropping a couple of f-bombs is probably not in your best interest if you want to land the job.   Colouring a good story with a couple of “fuckins” and “holy shits” at school is probably going to land you in hot water.

But seriously, once you’re a grown up, why does it even fucking matter?   Why is it “profanity”?   Why are people so damn offended by this language?

The world has become an Offend-A-Thon when it comes to petty nonsense like this.   Some Cockbucket decided that swearing is offensive and now we’ve got shit like “no swearing” policies in the workplace.   Seriously?   How about you go and figure out how to do your job and stop monitoring the adjectives coming out of my mouth?   I am 39 years old.   Get a a grip and find something enlightening to share with the world besides your ability to be a completely useless human being.

We live in a place where not everyone has clean running water.   Where women make less money than men for doing the same job with the same qualifications.  Where law enforcement can shoot a man because of assumptions they made due to the colour of his skin.

Where health care isn’t considered a human right.  Where wars rage over oil and religion.  People are starving while some of us throw out extra food.  Children are being exploited and abused.

Shall I go on, or do you get the point?

The point is, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT YOU CUNTS.  All this shit going on in the world and some asshole has time to get all worked about the words coming out of my mouth?   Can we please expend our energy into actually making the world a better place rather than worrying about whether I swore at you?

I’ll make you a deal.   I’ll stop using the word Fuck, when someone finds a way to solve all these Fuckworthy problems in the world.   Stop giving me so much shit to swear about and I’ll clean up my mouth.

In the meantime, I will continue to delight you all with my Mouth of Potty.

Fuck Yeah.

 

 

 

I’m Pretty Sure God Would Rather Have A Heaven Full Of Gays Than The Rest Of The Assholes Out There

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“Gays Belong in Heaven Too” by Maverick Mista Majah P

I’ve been having this fight on the internet with some shitlicker who has declared that gay people, and anyone who supports their rights as human beings are not actually Christians.

Ummm, WHAT?

It was in response to a video that I had posted and a dear friend of mine re-shared about many pastors who had changed their view after careful study of those Scriptures which at first glance seemed to condemn homosexuality, but after deeper thought and insight perhaps were giving a different message.

Now I am no great Bible Scholar. I won’t pretend like I sit by candles every night researching verses and how they apply to me today.  But I do know God’s love.   I know what it feels like to be part of a loving community founded in faith.  I know personally how that affects your life and how thankful I am for a community of people who love and accept each other for what and who they are.  I know what its like to observe and listen to people who demonstrate such grace in their life that it is impossible not to want to be a better human being.

And for me, that is the core of Christianity.  It is building communities of people who love and support one another, instead of trying to out-awesome each other by pointing out all the ways that you fucked up life or broke the rules.

Here’s the thing that is beyond frustrating:  The people that basically don’t believe that folks who are part of the LGBTQ community deserve to be recognized as human beings, let alone be part of a Christian circle get hung up on like 6 verses in the entire Bible that even remotely discuss it.  Its like some golden special rule that cannot possibly be interpreted in any other way that they get all fucking wet about and can’t let it go.

Yet they cherry pick what other rules no longer apply from the Old Testament.   They forget about the ones that tell you not to be greedy, or a dickhead, or what kind of meat you can eat, or how many slaves you can own or how many wives you can have.  Us girls even speak in church now and then, which Paul specifically said is a no-no.   So if all of these laws have evolved to make sense in today’s society, why is the gay thing such a big deal?  Why is that the one law that transcends all time and is not applicable to today’s society where people just love each other regardless of sex, gender identity, race, etc?

You know what I think?   I think Homophobia runs wild in the world still and people who are insecure in their own faith have to find a way to feel superior to others. Its easier to  point out what’s wrong with everybody else so they don’t have to dig in and deal with their own bullshit.  Fear and insecurity are a dangerous combination.  And if you can point out how wrong somebody else is, then you must be right? Right?

Look.  Nobody here gets to determine the validity of another person’s faith or relationship with God.  Unless you’re God.

Anybody out there God?

I didn’t think so.

So the next time any of you bible thumping, self righteous, haters of  love, judgy-judgertons decide who can and can’t be a Christian because of some sort of backwards criteria that you have set do me a favour.

Go find a bag of dicks and beat yourself in the head with them until you realize what your actual fucking job is.  Then go and feed the hungry, give away all your money, and learn what it actually means to love your neighbour as yourself.

And yes.   I am a Sweary Christian.   But trust me, I’m sure God has bigger fish to fry these days than to count the fuck-o-meter on my mouth.   Don’t worry about me….me and God are good.

Guess What? I F*cking Speak French Too, Lady.

Longtime no post.   I KNOW.

But seriously, having contact with other parents in a public setting and their entitled, stuck up little brats have inspired me to pick up my keyboard.

Twice in the last week I have witnessed other peoples children acting like total douchebags at a playground.  Twice in the last week I have had to speak to someone else’s child about their behavior in a public place.   Once, because the parent’s pre-teenish girls were nowhere to be found and their actions were putting the welfare of some wee ones in danger.  Fair enough.  Those kids backed off and despite being totally obnoxious on the swing set realized when they had pushed too far and an adult was taking back the authority on the goddamn playground.  The thing that killed me about that is that the mom of the little one in danger of getting hit with shit being thrown up the slide stood by and was too fucking afraid to say something to a 10 or 12 year old kid.   She thanked me for coming across the playground to fix it but Jesus Christ are we so afraid to be grownups?   Do the kids have all the power?

Well, it would appear as though yes.

Today, while at an indoor play area, this woman showed up with her two kids who were a few years older than mine.  I’d say about 8-10.

She was busy on her phone, trying to book dance classes for her daughter, and shot me an annoyed look because my kids were being noisy.  In a children’s play area and she had to go outside the glass to finish her conversation.   I was already less than enchanted.   It’s a playground lady.   I fuck around on my phone while my kids play too, as long as there is no bullshit and nothing needs my attention, but I don’t try to deal with any business where I have to hear what a human on the other end of the phone is saying.   I’m not a glutton for punishment.

Anyway.

This is a high indoor structure that has netting to hold the kids in should they fall.   It also has netting along the side on a high, double bump slide that goes hella fast.

Well, her kid decided to pull the netting away from beside the slide so that he could get in behind and underneath the slide part of the structure.

And of course, my three year old copied him.

I have a few problems with this.   First, the netting is now not doing its job.   So if a kid gets air and flies to the side, they now literally have no safety net because it is not secured properly.  Second, the staff clearly do not want kids behind there.  Part of the reason it is in place is to keep the kids out.  Third, monkey see, monkey fucking do.  What might be a “safe” behavior for a 10 year old, is not necessarily safe for a 3 year old.

And fourth, and adult just politely asked you to come out from there, and you told her you don’t have to because your mom lets you do it.

So when Ms. Twatwaddle, whose attention I tried to get because I wrongly assumed that she would be interested in asking her child to follow the same rules as every one else FINALLY came back in, she proceeded to not give a shit, because she felt it was “safe”.

When I pointed out that while he might be “safe” but had created a potentially unsafe situation for other kids she also didn’t give a shit.   When I pointed out that her son completely disregarded the request of an adult in the area she also didn’t give a shit.   And then she proceeded to patronize me in French to her child, right in front of me.

Well guess what?   I fucking speak French, and you, ma’am, are everything that’s wrong with the next generation of kids and the way they behave.

I actually don’t give that much of a shit about what happened at the playground.   Kids act like assholes there all the time and it’s part of how they sort out some social skills.

But I felt like she is one of those self entitled bitches who teach their kids that the rules apply to everyone else except for them.  And as a parent, a teacher, and a fellow human being, it makes me really angry.  It’s just another blaring example of how there are never any consequences for anything because the kids are holding all the damn cards.

Sometimes I wish that beating people upside the head with their own genitals was a reasonable reaction to their stupidity.  Until then, I’ll continue to just beat my head against the wall and curse on the internet about it.

 

 

To All The Sancti-Mommies Out There: Just Don’t.

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So last week I got caught up in an online discussion about ill behaved children in the grocery store.

A super observant, knowledgeable, and childless woman made all sorts of comments about how inappropriate it was for the parents to have tried to control their child’s tantruming by offering a bribe.   Or whatever.  She watched.  She judged.  And then she proclaimed her disapproval on social media like a total cow.

Anyway, the exchange pissed me off.  I am so tired of trying so hard to do right by my kids.  And having what feels like an army of Sancti-Mommies always screaming about how wrong I am for doing/thinking/feeling/trying/asking/wondering the things I am.  Or posting the “how you’ve fucked up your kids for good” article of the day.

And then there’s this new breed of Sancti-Non-Mommies who also want to weigh in on the discussion?   Because they took a few behaviour management courses that one time in University?

No thanks.

Also, fuck you.

So in order to deal with some of my feelings (don’t tell anybody I have feelings or I will cut you) , I have been trolling some of the mommy blogging sites in order to tell some of these bitches to suck it.

Does that make me a terrible person?

Maybe.

Probably.

But here’s the thing:  With the exception of the vaccination debate, where your choice does actually affect those around you I don’t actually give a fuck how you parent your child.

Like, not even a little bit.

What I’m interested in is hearing you share what works for you so that we parents can use each other as a resource when we are out of answers and patience.   Isn’t that what those sites were invented for?

Instead, everybody is Judgy-Judgering one a another and pointing fingers and making all sorts of assumptions about other people.   Throwing out accusations of violence and child abuse if you’ve resorted to spanking or chosen to circumcise your son.   The irreversable psychological damage you’ve done to your child by yelling at them.  How you’ve brain damaged them by allowing them to eat sugar.  Or how your kid will be smarter/healthier/better because you were able to breastfeed and I was just too lazy/selfish/stupid to do the same.

God.  We even get up in one anothers business for what kind of birth they had.

And my problem is not with what choices you make for your child.  My problem is with the choices you make about how you treat other people.  You may always speak to your child in a calm, respectful tone that explains your point of view and outlines your expectations.   You never raise your voice to them and certainly not your hand.   You are parent of the year in every way whose kid eats what’s on their plate, always follows the rules, never cries or tantrums, loves to grocery shop, goes to bed on time, puts their shoes on the first time you ask, cleans the house, walks the dog, all due to your awesomeness as a human being and in spite of the rest of us fuck ups down the street or linked to you on social media.  But when it comes to discussions about managing life as a working parent or disciplining your kids, we are all guilty of being class A bitches to one another.

This is such utter bullshit.  We all work our asses off to make our kids have the best lives possible.   And at some point we have decided that because something in our circumstance works or does not, it suddenly applies to every other human being out there.

IT DOESN”T.

So, to all the Sancti-Mommies out there:

Share your shit, but be realistic.   Be raw.  We can smell your entitled talk and insecurities a mile and a mouse click away.   You are not any better than the rest of us, you are just better at parenting YOUR OWN CHILD than the rest of us.  Stop acting like you have all the answers for everyone.   Stop making ridiculously overly dramatic statements about what another parent has chosen or tried or failed at.  Step off that high horse and let him go and graze in the pasture for a while.  Your burden of arrogance and judgement are too heavy for him to bear.

We. Are. All Doing.The Best.We.Can.

 

 

 

 

Madonna’s Daughter Has Hairy Armpits

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Omg.

So yesterday, on MSN news, there was an article about Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes looking smashing in a bikini.

Until she has the audacity to flash her unshaven armpits.  I mean, how dare she?   Doesn’t she know that she was being photographed?   Even if the photography was unsolicited, doesn’t she have any self respect?

I mean seriously, how does this fucking bitch live with herself?   How does she sleep at night, knowing what horror she has bestowed upon us, the public who needs to know?   A public who has a fundamental right to know what is going on in the world.

Listen, I get that she was at a beach with her friends, but she is a public figure whether she asked for it or not.   And to blatantly just leave her armpits unshaven for such a long time that we can see it from so far away with a telescopic lens is just not acceptable.   I can’t even believe she did this.

Doesn’t she care about what people think of her?   Doesn’t she care about the example she is leaving for young girls everywhere?   That it is ok for a girl to disrespect her body so much to have hairy armpits and flaunt them in public? HOW DOES SHE GET UP IN THE MORNING?

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people today.   Can’t we just live in a reasonable world where people are considerate of others and cover up their offensive body hair?  I can’t even watch the news anymore.  This is absurd.

 

This post brought to you by the most amount of sarcasm a person can hold in their hearts without exploding.

We have children being attacked with chemical weapons, a scary, complicated, no end in sight conflict in the middle east that seems to be escalating by the day.   An idiotic President of the US.  People constantly harming one another.   A divide between rich and poor that continues to get wider and wider.

Humanitarian crisis ALL OVER the world and THIS is the shit that MSN has deemed newsworthy.   Priorities.   Jesus Fuck.

 

 

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