ihaveanopinionidliketoshare

thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Category: life

Bedtime Is The Biggest Asshole I Know

after-kids-to-bed-LOTR-THUMB-330x230

You what time it is, Bitches.    That time where all you want is a little piece and quiet after a full day of tiny human taming.   You need a solid hour with a glass of wine, an episode of The Bachelor, and no other humans talking to you or each other before your exhausted body just collapses on the pillow.

And then Storytime is a dick.   Put On Your Pajama Time sucks a fat one.   Brush Your Teeth Time is a total whore and then actual Bedtime is a steaming asshole that just will not give you a break.

What is it about bedtime that makes kids act like the most annoying humans on the planet?   Aren’t they tired?  Aren’t they excited to go to sleep and replenish their energy in order to face another day of keeping other humans alive and doing all the glamorous things like laundry and cooking and toilets in between working a paid job?   Oh. Wait.

That’s me.

Honestly, MY bedtime is my favourite part of any day.   It’s better than toast ( and I fucking love toast) and a good book or a glass of wine or sex or anything I can think of these days.

I am so tired.  And my tiny humans will not fucking go to sleep.

Bedtime is a real asshole.  The biggest one I’ve ever met.

And then when Bedtime sucks, the next day sucks, because everyone is tired and Mommy didn’t get any alone time and here we are ALL OVER AGAIN with me fantasizing about MY bedtime, while wishing I cold hire a bedtime nanny 7 days a week.   I love spending time with my kids except when I have to put them to bed by myself.

And if you want to talk about The Hour Between Dinner And Bedtime, we need a whole other post for that motherfucker, because he is almost as relentless.

This shit gets easier, right?

Advertisements

This Is Not A Post About Victim Blaming. It’s A Post About Girl Power.

strong-women-quotes-entity-14

I’ve been thinking a lot about the #metoo movement lately.   Here in Canada, we are not without political scandal.  In the past month we have had our fair share of politicians and influential media people who have been accused of sexual misconduct and left their job or been suspended as a result.

The thing that kills me is the consistency of the feelings the women share.   Nearly every single one of them were in a situation with a man who had power over them of some sort due to a direct boss-employee type of relationship, or the man was in a position to influence their career in some way.

Why does this kill me?    Because I find myself thinking, what girl in her right mind would put herself in that situation?   And what women wouldn’t say  what the actual fuck when some guy randomly whips out his dick and blows a load all over his office floor?   Why wouldn’t you turn down the next round of drinks instead of leaving yourself in a state of impairment that makes you vulnerable?

Well, I guess Margaret Atwood said it best.

Nothing changes instantaneously…..in a gradually heating bathtub, you‘d be boiled to death before you knew it.

The problem is that women, although we have made great advances in terms of choice and lifestyle and rights, have been sitting in that fucking bathtub for so long that we haven’t noticed how hot the water is.   Women feel like they can’t say no.   They feel like they have to accept bad behaviour.  We have been conditioned to tolerate things we don’t like to keep the peace.

We do it in all of our relationships, not just in regards to sexual misconduct in the workplace.  Or out of the workplace.

We are so so fucking worried that we are going to offend someone by being honest about what we want or don’t want.   By asking for what we need and refusing to settle.   We put our own needs last for the sake of others around us.

There is this perception that a woman who stands up for herself is selfish, or a bitch, or just plain difficult.

Well SO WHAT?

Nothing is going to change unless we contribute to that change.  And by contributing, I mean turn the cold water tap on and demand better.   Stop accepting shit because that’s what feels easier in the moment.   It’s not easier.

And it doesn’t mean that men aren’t the ones responsible for this crap.   I just feel like we have put the expectation on men to treat women fairly and respectfully and they have been fucking it up for so long, why are we trusting them to them to fix it?

They are the ones who need to adjust their behaviour, but people do what “works”.  It’s been working for men all this time.  And until every single one of us girls says Oh Hell No every single time and demands to be treated as equals, the bad behaviour will continue.

It’s not a woman’s fault.  It’s never her fault.  But it’s our responsibility to fight for something that is better.   It’s our responsibility to catalyze change for our daughters. Sometimes we just forget that we are powerful enough to say no, and that is the message we need to keep repeating.   We need to hear that we will be supported when we say no, and that can only come from changing the current culture and the imbalance of power.

 

 

Just Talk. #LetsTalk

af463e545b31696e1e37a35724818ed5--tattoo-mental-health-positive-mental-health-quotes

Everybody is talking about mental illness this week, mostly due to Bell’s #letstalk campaign.

So I’ll talk too.

I see so many things going around social media about how you don’t need some prescription, just lace up some runners and get some fresh air.

I read another article about the body having a reaction to inflammation causing mental health symptoms, claiming that dietary changes can fix all your troubles.

And of course at the other end of the spectrum people shitting their pants that its an illness, caused by chemical imbalances in the brain that must be treated with synthetic drugs, much like you would treat a bacterial infection with antibiotics.

Although, treating a viral infection with antibiotics gets you nowhere….do you see where I’m going with this?

The truth as I see it, and from my own experience is that every single one of these things is true.  The problem is that like everything else in life, humans have this tendency to push their experiences onto others, and expect others to react the same and have the same truth as they do.

Bitches, that is fucking ridiculous.

Just because you can keep your crazy at bay by going for a run or eating gluten free or having a stress reducing support peacock doesn’t mean that I can.   It’s like saying that because penicillin cured your strep throat, it will cure my influenza.  No two people react the exact same way to treatment and management of their symptoms.   Hell, I don’t react the same to management of my symptoms of anxiety for two weeks in a row.  My symptoms aren’t even the same two weeks in a row.

I mean, there are some repeat performances for sure, but some days the only thing that fixes my shit is a good hard 5km, and other days that same 5km will trigger my fucking anxiety.  It’s so bloody annoying.   It’s like some days my anxiety is a regular, predictable asshole, and sometimes it is just a real cunt that will not be contained.

My point is that living with a mental illness is a learning curve for each individual, and management of symptoms can be done using a variety of methods, including medication. (or some days preferably sedation I swear). Having some sort of expectation about what does or doesn’t work coming from somebody who has never worn my shoes is pretty fucking annoying.   It makes sharing harder, because people get all pissed when you reject their advice.   It’s like dude, the fact that just going for a run and having a cup of chamomile doesn’t make my batshit fly under the radar like it does for you doesn’t make it any less of a viable treatment option for you.  It might help.  But some days, I just can’t people.  Or be nice.  Or give a fuck about what you think.

So when you’re talking, be aware that sharing means recounting your experiences, and listening to another person’s ideas, and validating what they tell you.   It means that they are an expert about their own life, and you are just an observer that they trust enough to let in.

So don’t be an asshole.   If you want to talk, talk.   Don’t force. Don’t judge. Don’t expect. 

Just talk.

This Dieting Thing Can Fuck Right Off

diet_1024x1024

Almost one year ago, I got on the treadmill for the first time.   I decided that I was going to learn to run, with the ultimate goal being a 10km for my 40th birthday.

I didn’t make the 10 km mark.   Lack of training time and consistency driven by too demanding work schedules, children, nagging strain injuries and just plain life got in the way.

BUT, I was running 5km pretty regularly, and at the end of the day I have become a *runner*.  I had accomplished something I was told and believed I would never be able to achieve, and still have my eyes set on that 10km mark.     So yeah, giant “fuck yous” all around to my inner voice and people in a previous life that were quick to judge the short round girl and what she was capable of.

Anyway, I am 100% ok with being fitfat.   You know, someone whose body type is just never going to be sleek and slim and perfect.   I was happy with being curvy and healthy and not having any limitations in my fitness level.   I was super proud to get on the treadmill and gain power by exceeding everyone’s expectations, even my own.

Somehow though, over the course of the past year and a bit, my weight had surprisingly crept up.  I don’t normally get on the scale, but that fucking annual doctor’s appointment sealed my fate.    It wasn’t like I gained a shit ton, but it was enough to irritate me.

And if you know me, I am sorta anti-diet these days.   It makes me feel like shit inside, it make me feel like shit outside.  It brings up all those unhealthy thoughts and behaviors of pseudo eating disorders from my teens and early twenties and I am so tired of attaching anything about my well being or self worth to the number on a goddamn scale.

And still, I thought to myself last month that maybe if I just made an effort to shed about 20 pounds, it would take some stress off the joints that have been giving me trouble, allowing me to run a little longer and a little faster.   I wasn’t doing it for any reason of vanity or worthiness or any of my usual bullshit.

So, I jumped on the wagon.   I am about 12 pounds down but now this week, despite eating cabbage soup and boiled eggs and all the apples that have ever grown on a fucking tree in the universe, the scale is being a right asshole.  And all of a sudden, I am 17 years old again, and all that matters in getting that number down no matter how hungry and miserable it makes me inside.

Why does that happen?

I just want to run a 10km, Bitches.

To all the humans out there who see someone who is overweight, or underweight, or imperfect in any way, just remember that everyone is trying to be the best human that they are capable of in the moment.  Dieting is such an ugly habit.    I preach all the time about being beautiful in our diversity, that nobody needs to give a shit about what other people think.   And it’s totally true.

But we all have our kryptonite.

Mine is the scale.   It makes me fell weak, and like a failure no matter what it says.   It’s so annoying.

Find your kryptonite and tell it to fuck right off.   Do yourself that favour.   Whether its an object, or a person, or whatever.  It has no business stealing your power.

You are enough. I am enough.

Here’s to a 10km this spring!

Thank God Justine Damond Was White

800JustineDiamond-KSTP

I keep reading all these articles about the Australian woman shot and killed in Minneapolis by police.

And it’s a terrible tragedy.  My heart and condolences go out to the family of Justine Damond.  No parent or spouse or child should ever have to wonder why the fuck a police officer would freak out and shoot their loved one for absolutely no cause.

That’s just it, though, isn’t it?

It’s taken a white woman who had called 911 as a witness to a potential crime getting mistakenly ( or intentionally, who knows) shot by a law enforcement individual sworn to protect her to enrage the community enough that people are losing their jobs.   The Chief of Police has resigned.   People are demanding that the mayor resign.

I guess its a good thing she was white or nobody would give a fuck, eh?

If it had been a black woman it probably would not have even made it in the news, because that fucking happens ALL THE TIME.   We are almost desensitized to it.   Or we make assumptions that she must have reached for a weapon or the officers had reason to fear for their own well being.  They must have been justified somehow.  Or we think that its an honest mistake.

If it had been a black woman we’d just have a bunch of black people from her community holding vigils and protesting.  Grieving their loss and wondering how this could be happening over and over again and then a shit ton of police in riot gear would show up to keep the *peace* that they fucking broke to begin with.

But no.   Thank God for Justine Damond being white.  All it took was for a white woman to be the victim of the very same violence that black citizens have been subject to since forever for the city to be turned upside fucking down. Maybe it opened people’s eyes enough for them to experience the outrage of a human being who has no intention of doing harm getting killed by a trigger happy police force.   Now a white girl got killed so some heads are rolling.   There is an appropriate and much needed reaction happening and real investigations happening into the behaviour and the culture of policing in that city.

And although I’m sure it isn’t any consolation to Justine Diamond’s family, maybe her death will have a purpose. Maybe there will be some justice for her.  Maybe her death will help to change these bullshit scenarios of police violence in the US.

Maybe it will be a step in the right direction.

But I’m not holding my breath.

 

 

Fuckety Fuck Fuck Fuck

19990068_1242888012504918_4729159327142244268_n

I saw this brilliant piece of art the other day and posted it to my Facebook wall.  And it got me thinking, you know, as shit like this tends to do.

I swear a lot.   It’s worked its way into my vocabulary just as casually as putting on a sweater.  I use the word fuck as an adjective, a noun, a verb, an adverb and pop it into any sentence that needs a little emphasis or colouring.

Now, since I am 100% against assholery, I am able to omit it in certain settings.   I turn it of when working with children or at my bartending job.  But I swear around my own children.  Because its my house and I make the rules here.

I tell my kids that saying “grown up” words is one of those things that you have be a grown up to use.  And that even when you use them, you have to make sure you know your audience.

For example:  Going to a job interview and dropping a couple of f-bombs is probably not in your best interest if you want to land the job.   Colouring a good story with a couple of “fuckins” and “holy shits” at school is probably going to land you in hot water.

But seriously, once you’re a grown up, why does it even fucking matter?   Why is it “profanity”?   Why are people so damn offended by this language?

The world has become an Offend-A-Thon when it comes to petty nonsense like this.   Some Cockbucket decided that swearing is offensive and now we’ve got shit like “no swearing” policies in the workplace.   Seriously?   How about you go and figure out how to do your job and stop monitoring the adjectives coming out of my mouth?   I am 39 years old.   Get a a grip and find something enlightening to share with the world besides your ability to be a completely useless human being.

We live in a place where not everyone has clean running water.   Where women make less money than men for doing the same job with the same qualifications.  Where law enforcement can shoot a man because of assumptions they made due to the colour of his skin.

Where health care isn’t considered a human right.  Where wars rage over oil and religion.  People are starving while some of us throw out extra food.  Children are being exploited and abused.

Shall I go on, or do you get the point?

The point is, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT YOU CUNTS.  All this shit going on in the world and some asshole has time to get all worked about the words coming out of my mouth?   Can we please expend our energy into actually making the world a better place rather than worrying about whether I swore at you?

I’ll make you a deal.   I’ll stop using the word Fuck, when someone finds a way to solve all these Fuckworthy problems in the world.   Stop giving me so much shit to swear about and I’ll clean up my mouth.

In the meantime, I will continue to delight you all with my Mouth of Potty.

Fuck Yeah.

 

 

 

I’m Pretty Sure God Would Rather Have A Heaven Full Of Gays Than The Rest Of The Assholes Out There

maxresdefault

“Gays Belong in Heaven Too” by Maverick Mista Majah P

I’ve been having this fight on the internet with some shitlicker who has declared that gay people, and anyone who supports their rights as human beings are not actually Christians.

Ummm, WHAT?

It was in response to a video that I had posted and a dear friend of mine re-shared about many pastors who had changed their view after careful study of those Scriptures which at first glance seemed to condemn homosexuality, but after deeper thought and insight perhaps were giving a different message.

Now I am no great Bible Scholar. I won’t pretend like I sit by candles every night researching verses and how they apply to me today.  But I do know God’s love.   I know what it feels like to be part of a loving community founded in faith.  I know personally how that affects your life and how thankful I am for a community of people who love and accept each other for what and who they are.  I know what its like to observe and listen to people who demonstrate such grace in their life that it is impossible not to want to be a better human being.

And for me, that is the core of Christianity.  It is building communities of people who love and support one another, instead of trying to out-awesome each other by pointing out all the ways that you fucked up life or broke the rules.

Here’s the thing that is beyond frustrating:  The people that basically don’t believe that folks who are part of the LGBTQ community deserve to be recognized as human beings, let alone be part of a Christian circle get hung up on like 6 verses in the entire Bible that even remotely discuss it.  Its like some golden special rule that cannot possibly be interpreted in any other way that they get all fucking wet about and can’t let it go.

Yet they cherry pick what other rules no longer apply from the Old Testament.   They forget about the ones that tell you not to be greedy, or a dickhead, or what kind of meat you can eat, or how many slaves you can own or how many wives you can have.  Us girls even speak in church now and then, which Paul specifically said is a no-no.   So if all of these laws have evolved to make sense in today’s society, why is the gay thing such a big deal?  Why is that the one law that transcends all time and is not applicable to today’s society where people just love each other regardless of sex, gender identity, race, etc?

You know what I think?   I think Homophobia runs wild in the world still and people who are insecure in their own faith have to find a way to feel superior to others. Its easier to  point out what’s wrong with everybody else so they don’t have to dig in and deal with their own bullshit.  Fear and insecurity are a dangerous combination.  And if you can point out how wrong somebody else is, then you must be right? Right?

Look.  Nobody here gets to determine the validity of another person’s faith or relationship with God.  Unless you’re God.

Anybody out there God?

I didn’t think so.

So the next time any of you bible thumping, self righteous, haters of  love, judgy-judgertons decide who can and can’t be a Christian because of some sort of backwards criteria that you have set do me a favour.

Go find a bag of dicks and beat yourself in the head with them until you realize what your actual fucking job is.  Then go and feed the hungry, give away all your money, and learn what it actually means to love your neighbour as yourself.

And yes.   I am a Sweary Christian.   But trust me, I’m sure God has bigger fish to fry these days than to count the fuck-o-meter on my mouth.   Don’t worry about me….me and God are good.

Guess What? I F*cking Speak French Too, Lady.

Longtime no post.   I KNOW.

But seriously, having contact with other parents in a public setting and their entitled, stuck up little brats have inspired me to pick up my keyboard.

Twice in the last week I have witnessed other peoples children acting like total douchebags at a playground.  Twice in the last week I have had to speak to someone else’s child about their behavior in a public place.   Once, because the parent’s pre-teenish girls were nowhere to be found and their actions were putting the welfare of some wee ones in danger.  Fair enough.  Those kids backed off and despite being totally obnoxious on the swing set realized when they had pushed too far and an adult was taking back the authority on the goddamn playground.  The thing that killed me about that is that the mom of the little one in danger of getting hit with shit being thrown up the slide stood by and was too fucking afraid to say something to a 10 or 12 year old kid.   She thanked me for coming across the playground to fix it but Jesus Christ are we so afraid to be grownups?   Do the kids have all the power?

Well, it would appear as though yes.

Today, while at an indoor play area, this woman showed up with her two kids who were a few years older than mine.  I’d say about 8-10.

She was busy on her phone, trying to book dance classes for her daughter, and shot me an annoyed look because my kids were being noisy.  In a children’s play area and she had to go outside the glass to finish her conversation.   I was already less than enchanted.   It’s a playground lady.   I fuck around on my phone while my kids play too, as long as there is no bullshit and nothing needs my attention, but I don’t try to deal with any business where I have to hear what a human on the other end of the phone is saying.   I’m not a glutton for punishment.

Anyway.

This is a high indoor structure that has netting to hold the kids in should they fall.   It also has netting along the side on a high, double bump slide that goes hella fast.

Well, her kid decided to pull the netting away from beside the slide so that he could get in behind and underneath the slide part of the structure.

And of course, my three year old copied him.

I have a few problems with this.   First, the netting is now not doing its job.   So if a kid gets air and flies to the side, they now literally have no safety net because it is not secured properly.  Second, the staff clearly do not want kids behind there.  Part of the reason it is in place is to keep the kids out.  Third, monkey see, monkey fucking do.  What might be a “safe” behavior for a 10 year old, is not necessarily safe for a 3 year old.

And fourth, and adult just politely asked you to come out from there, and you told her you don’t have to because your mom lets you do it.

So when Ms. Twatwaddle, whose attention I tried to get because I wrongly assumed that she would be interested in asking her child to follow the same rules as every one else FINALLY came back in, she proceeded to not give a shit, because she felt it was “safe”.

When I pointed out that while he might be “safe” but had created a potentially unsafe situation for other kids she also didn’t give a shit.   When I pointed out that her son completely disregarded the request of an adult in the area she also didn’t give a shit.   And then she proceeded to patronize me in French to her child, right in front of me.

Well guess what?   I fucking speak French, and you, ma’am, are everything that’s wrong with the next generation of kids and the way they behave.

I actually don’t give that much of a shit about what happened at the playground.   Kids act like assholes there all the time and it’s part of how they sort out some social skills.

But I felt like she is one of those self entitled bitches who teach their kids that the rules apply to everyone else except for them.  And as a parent, a teacher, and a fellow human being, it makes me really angry.  It’s just another blaring example of how there are never any consequences for anything because the kids are holding all the damn cards.

Sometimes I wish that beating people upside the head with their own genitals was a reasonable reaction to their stupidity.  Until then, I’ll continue to just beat my head against the wall and curse on the internet about it.

 

 

I Used To Try And Drown My Problems In Wine, Now I Just Run Away From Them

elNF54a99uvTM4vWAsqmgfhwUj5bId0Lcy_pWnOgxsrhC_904xy2y4xMMzJ7kUtRw3zgkCW7HQd8PSfOdg1geJt9Un5G6r0fyVe8Zj9V690bpprGpbQ=w470-h313-nc

Flickr

Back in January, I started running.

No, really!

I decided that I was gonna do something for myself this year.    I didn’t book a trip or get my hair done.   I didn’t spend a ridiculous amount of money on a pair of shoes.

I wanted something where I could pursue solitude and independence from all of the other hats I wear on a daily basis.   I wanted to not have to talk to anybody and accomplish some monumental.

Well, monumental for me, that is.

So I decided that I would celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday in October by running a 10km race.

With a bit of encouragement from a dear friend, I quietly started a “Couch to 5km” program that I downloaded from the internet.   It starts you really slow, assuming that you have a zero grade fitness level and builds you up gradually.   The first week you maybe spend about 7 or 8 minutes of a 30 minute workout running.

I posted about my goals and progress on social media to keep myself accountable and make it real.

And let me tell you.  I thought I was gonna puke, faint or even die those first few weeks.   It was awful.  I started googling how high your heart rate was able to go before it literally explodes from your chest.   I had to force myself to get on that treadmill.

And then a few weeks in, it suddenly started to get easier, and I was running for longer periods.   And longer distances.  And all of a sudden, I ran my first 5km.   It had seemed so out of reach and impossible for me, but I fucking did it.

And I’m pretty sure the scale has not budged.  

Despite people commenting about weight I’ve lost……I don’t think I have.

I haven’t been dieting.  Not even a little bit.   I try to eat balanced meals that make me happy and have energy to feel good during my runs.   The things I enjoy.   Losing weight as in fat was never the goal of this.   I was searching to shed the weight of a lifetime battle with body image and a constantly negative conversation that I was having with myself about food.   “You shouldn’t eat that.   Carbs are bad.   That has zero points.  Empty calories. “

After those first few weeks and things started to get easier, I started to feel different about myself.    I’ve always tried to celebrate my curves and preach loving yourself at any size.

But for the first time I actually felt that way inside.

Once I started to get over the number on the scale or on the tag of my pants and concentrate on numbers like kilometers, minutes and heart rate, I gained power over a lifetime of never feeling like I was quite beautiful enough.

Because fuck it.   Now I could do something that I never could before.   I was proud of my body.   I was proud of the strength it’s been gaining.   I was proud to be the size I am and killing those miles every week.  It has been so empowering.

And now when I sit down to eat dinner, I don’t torture myself.   I literally eat what I want, when I’m hungry.    I don’t obsess about calories or fat or shame and then overeat because I am so busy trying to not eat the whole plate that I forget to enjoy what’s there and pay attention to the moment I feel satisfied.

I feel like after a lifetime of struggling with a very unhealthy vision of food, I have found a way to make my peace with it.   By letting go of stupid shit and giving myself permission to love what my body can do no matter what the scale says.

So now I don’t get on it.   I just give it the finger and don’t care.

And its funny, because I have gotten a lot of messages and emails from girls I know or knew or sorta know on social media, asking me how I got started because they want to lose weight.

And I am definitely no guru, and certainly not a fitness expert.   But I am an expert of self loathing, and I can tell you all this:

Once you change the goal from shedding weight to shedding hate, and set a goal that you see yourself achieving, you will succeed at this journey of health and self love.   The scale can’t and won’t give you that.  Just let it go.   Let. It.Go.

It’s amazing how such a simple goal has made such an impact on my whole life.   Find yours Bitches!  Tell me all about it!!

 

 

To All The Sancti-Mommies Out There: Just Don’t.

z-IGSa_XAIFeTJ7hr1pjXq3OcIedylWqTpSqA_iNSCueH42Di10UkMGRwLU7KG_fhAWCyZpsuY0E7--CibfkZAeZ9L8Qdhp51I5e2nfuhEFD94VEoyiAO0a1IVGlhLX8nVFm-Kiig3c22Ukugc7i2pZVMUk=w420-h294-nc

Pinterest

So last week I got caught up in an online discussion about ill behaved children in the grocery store.

A super observant, knowledgeable, and childless woman made all sorts of comments about how inappropriate it was for the parents to have tried to control their child’s tantruming by offering a bribe.   Or whatever.  She watched.  She judged.  And then she proclaimed her disapproval on social media like a total cow.

Anyway, the exchange pissed me off.  I am so tired of trying so hard to do right by my kids.  And having what feels like an army of Sancti-Mommies always screaming about how wrong I am for doing/thinking/feeling/trying/asking/wondering the things I am.  Or posting the “how you’ve fucked up your kids for good” article of the day.

And then there’s this new breed of Sancti-Non-Mommies who also want to weigh in on the discussion?   Because they took a few behaviour management courses that one time in University?

No thanks.

Also, fuck you.

So in order to deal with some of my feelings (don’t tell anybody I have feelings or I will cut you) , I have been trolling some of the mommy blogging sites in order to tell some of these bitches to suck it.

Does that make me a terrible person?

Maybe.

Probably.

But here’s the thing:  With the exception of the vaccination debate, where your choice does actually affect those around you I don’t actually give a fuck how you parent your child.

Like, not even a little bit.

What I’m interested in is hearing you share what works for you so that we parents can use each other as a resource when we are out of answers and patience.   Isn’t that what those sites were invented for?

Instead, everybody is Judgy-Judgering one a another and pointing fingers and making all sorts of assumptions about other people.   Throwing out accusations of violence and child abuse if you’ve resorted to spanking or chosen to circumcise your son.   The irreversable psychological damage you’ve done to your child by yelling at them.  How you’ve brain damaged them by allowing them to eat sugar.  Or how your kid will be smarter/healthier/better because you were able to breastfeed and I was just too lazy/selfish/stupid to do the same.

God.  We even get up in one anothers business for what kind of birth they had.

And my problem is not with what choices you make for your child.  My problem is with the choices you make about how you treat other people.  You may always speak to your child in a calm, respectful tone that explains your point of view and outlines your expectations.   You never raise your voice to them and certainly not your hand.   You are parent of the year in every way whose kid eats what’s on their plate, always follows the rules, never cries or tantrums, loves to grocery shop, goes to bed on time, puts their shoes on the first time you ask, cleans the house, walks the dog, all due to your awesomeness as a human being and in spite of the rest of us fuck ups down the street or linked to you on social media.  But when it comes to discussions about managing life as a working parent or disciplining your kids, we are all guilty of being class A bitches to one another.

This is such utter bullshit.  We all work our asses off to make our kids have the best lives possible.   And at some point we have decided that because something in our circumstance works or does not, it suddenly applies to every other human being out there.

IT DOESN”T.

So, to all the Sancti-Mommies out there:

Share your shit, but be realistic.   Be raw.  We can smell your entitled talk and insecurities a mile and a mouse click away.   You are not any better than the rest of us, you are just better at parenting YOUR OWN CHILD than the rest of us.  Stop acting like you have all the answers for everyone.   Stop making ridiculously overly dramatic statements about what another parent has chosen or tried or failed at.  Step off that high horse and let him go and graze in the pasture for a while.  Your burden of arrogance and judgement are too heavy for him to bear.

We. Are. All Doing.The Best.We.Can.

 

 

 

 

AfterOtis

Written by Natalie Oldham

Midnight Calico Farm

One Family's Journey into Farm Life

unreally written

A mushy mom, a little madness, and a lot of musing.

Speechbaby

Child Rearing with a Professional Twist

Feminist Philosophers

News feminist philosophers can use

Out an' About

Loving Life On and Off the Tracks

Cooking Without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

MOMtessori Life

Living the Montessori life as a mom with two young children

The Magical Thinker

Beauty, Fashion, and Lifestyle Blogger

Books, Books and More Books!

Read a Review, Leave a Comment!

Archon's Den

The Rants & Rambles of A Grumpy Old Dude

Mind Of An In-Depth Woman

My thoughts about love, music, spirituality, relationships, life and random topics in between

The Bede Update

He may be small but he is mighty

Ends and Beginnings

"The World is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."-Ivy Baker Priest

Musings of An Insomniac

Late night thoughts of a fool.

Surviving Grief

How to embrace grief and heal

dwaineevanssr

This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

Deep Breaths

Apparently I am too angry and judgemental and I'm trying to change that

bizarrelovetriangleblog

Two guys, a girl, and a choice.

BigAndPinkyToes

A blog about family, food, and other good stuff.

Mums diary blog

MOTHERHOOD ~ FASHION ~ FAMILY LIFESTYLE #mumsdiaryblog

This Mommy's Adventures of Autism, Special Needs, and Everything in Between

My family. Our stories. Parent and Creative Explorer

Breaking Sarah - Bruised, Not Broken

One woman's raw journey through incest, teen pregnancy, trauma, death, and family estrangement.

Not the Average Mama

Taking the Step out of step Parent

brickhousechick

Letting it all hang out

lifebeyondmommy

A stay at home mothers guide to self discovery

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

Luminous Blue

a mother's and daughter's journey with transformation, cancer, death and LOVE

The Secret Life of Emily Maine

a place to shout my secrets

Dramatic Momologue

The juggle is real.

andrea shawcross

comedy writer & maker of filmstuffs.

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

David McVety

A Spiritual Shepherd's Thoughts on Faith and Family

Beating Myself Into a Dress

First a wedding dress, then a maternity dress, now I'm just trying to fit into ANY dress.

The Fat Chick Memoirs

Dealing with my Weight-Loss One Funny Story at a Time

Stephanie Bernaba

Writer | Photographer

The Science of Mom

The Heart and Science of Parenting

The Fat Bottom Bard

Waxing Poetic and Penning Tall Tales

Jeneral Musings

A personal potpourri of thoughts

Supporting Birth Diversity

Celebrating the Tapestry of Motherhood

Insidethelifeofmoi

An eccentric blogger with a pen and a thousand ideas

%d bloggers like this: