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Category: marriage

It’s not even Halloween and I am already so tired of all the things

Photo by Sarah Chai on Pexels.com

We are less than two months into the school year, and I gotta tell you, I am already over everything.

I’m over the 50-60 hours work weeks. I am over managing that with the needs of the kids and their activities. I am over packing lunches and early mornings and running for the school bus and arguing about bedtime. Especially bedtime. Bedtime can go fuck itself. The End.

Mostly, I am over feeling like I am stretched so thin that I suck at everything I do. Maybe it is leftover trauma from all the lockdowns and a feeling of being so permanently overwhelmed that doesn’t want to let up.

Or MAYBE the last 18 months have enlightened us to the fact that we (in particular working mothers) have lost sense of a life balance that is even remotely reasonable and sustainable. I can’t help but feel like this was something we always knew was a problem but didn’t want to admit to ourselves, to our employers, to our spouses or to each other.

Seriously, who the fuck decided that working full time, plus commuting while raising children was really going to be good for us? Who decided that starting every day at 6am, rushing around to get everyone ready for the day, sending off the kids, working our asses off all day, rushing home to do pick ups, feed the people, rush to get to the next thing, rush home to bathe and go to bed -was a good idea? God forbid you don’t work a regular schedule either, because who really does anymore anyway?

I honestly don’t know what the answer is. I mean, obviously as a fairly *successful* working mom, I fully advocate for women to have meaningful and fulfilling careers WHILE being able to raise a family. So why does it feel like these issues of balancing family and career are so heavily skewed towards women? I don’t want to discount all the dads and their efforts, but it certainly feels like the assumption to this day is that the mother is the primary caregiver and it is us that make the bulk of the sacrifices and carry the heaviest part of the emotional load.

At the risk of sounding like I just want to bitch because I am tired and burnt the fuck out ( I am) I am also truly wondering how to better support families and working parents.

Can work days be tailored to accommodate school hours? Can employers be mandated to offer on site childcare options for employees? Can we job share more commonly? In light of what we learned during the pandemic can we offer a hybrid model of working remotely and on site to reduce commute times?

What about restructuring societal norms? How do we normalize fathers taking paternity leave? How do we normalize it being ok for women to ask for help and admitting that they are struggling? Multigenerational homes? Cooperative living communities where childcare duties are shared?

I certainly can’t wave a magic wand and solve all of my own problems, so I won’t pretend like I have all the answers about this most challenging season in life. All I know is that I am tired, so I will share what I think might help in the meantime:

Bitches, give yourselves a fucking break. Stop making the gold standard so fucking hard. Give yourself permission to heat a store bought, frozen lasagna for dinner. Feed them hotdogs and pre-made subs from the deli. Hire a house cleaner. Skip the gym without guilt when you feel like you can’t add another thing to your plate. Build a village and take turns with the kids. Have your groceries delivered. Do the things that make all the bullshit easier however that looks like for you, and focus on spending time on the things that matter more.

And don’t forget to do a shot of tequila. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Luke Prokop’s announcement is bittersweet in some ways

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Over the past week I’ve seen so many posts supporting and talking about Luke Prokop, the Nashville hockey player who is the first ever active NHL player to come out as gay.

Like so many of you, I applaud and celebrate this man’s ability to live as himself authentically, and visibly, lending himself to those that haven’t yet found their voice. Role models that are representative are so, so important in all fields-sports, science, government, arts, education and the military.

This little voice inside me felt sad though, because the world is still in a place where someone’s sexual orientation is still a potential “scandal” that needs to be preempted, in fear of someone “finding out” your secret. We’re still there. Love is love, gays can legally get married, but we still need to announce to the world where we get our orgasms from.

There are still many people actively fighting against same sex unions, adoptions, roles as educators. Anything other than white picket fence, heterosexual missionary lovemaking is considered dirty. We have lawmakers and representatives refusing to acknowledge Pride events or to support efforts that afford the same human rights to all, based on archaic laws or fanatical religious excuses.

My heart is aching for a world where nobody needs to make an announcement about who is dicking who, or lack of dicking, or multi dicking in their bedrooms. I want to live in a world where when teenagers go on their first date there is no big “coming out” conversation with their families and they just introduce the human they have chosen to temporarily or permanently partner with to their parents and they go to a movie or dinner or whatever.

I want to live in a world where the Luke Prokops get to just play hockey and don’t spend their time worrying about who they love and how that affects their career. I want the Luke Prokops to simply show up with their boyfriends and not even make the news.

It’s really on us, the parents of this generation to simply talk about things like homosexuality, transgenderism, bisexuality, pansexuality in the same fashion we would heterosexuality. Making phrases like “John and his husband” or “John and their partner” as accepted and as regular and “John and his wife”.

I mean, I prefer dark haired men and big arms who make me laugh and tolerate my bullshit. But last time I checked I didn’t need to announce this to my employer or anyone else. What I keep in my bedside dresser is not something I have to share with anyone except who I share my bed with. My sexual activities don’t require an announcement, because I am in a heterosexual relationship.

I want us to get there. Where diversity and representation of EVERYONE simply exists, and nobody has to live in any sort of closet. I want us to live in a world where fear of being who you are and consequences of your personhood doesn’t exists, and love can actually be love no matter how different love looks like for all people.

In the meantime, I applaud all the Luke Prokops in the world for blazing the trail and helping us get there. Skate on, brother.

Still In Love……

I’ve been seeing this Valentine’s Day challenge all over Facebook this week. Everyone keeps telling us the “details” of their relationship- how they met, where they first kissed, who said I love you first. You know, all the important memories.

It’s fun to go down memory lane like that.

Husband and I met at the Olive Garden. The Fucking Olive Garden. We both worked there…it’s not like he fucking picked me up over some all you can eat pasta fagioli and salad or anything. I was fresh out of a really yucky relationship that ended two years too late, and he was absolutely not interested in dating whatsoever.

But “I” was irresistible, OBVIOUSLY, and he showed up one night when I was working late and he was off with a case of beer and an invitation to go to a party. The party consisted of a bunch of the guys who worked in the kitchen and a whole lot of pot and some of the funnest times I have ever had.

Our relationship was instantaneous, but oddly evolved slowly at the same time. We were the best of friends, reluctant to say boyfriend, but eager to say I love you. It was easy and we were opposite in every single fucking way but somehow always ended up in exactly the same place.

I remember our first kiss on the doorstep of my parent’s house, and our first apartment, his marriage proposal after me explaining that it was time to get married, and all of the important milestones that couples everywhere document in their stack of photos and memories.

Perhaps more importantly though, I remember being this crazy girl that refused to be controlled and how he never ever tried to control me. He let me pound bottles of gin and dance on tables and slam on the brakes in the middle of the highway to look at a bird or get out and pat some horses in a field.

He always picked me up and fed me bites of his dinner across the table and made me laugh and walked right into my house without ever knocking.

And along the way we had our troubles. We both struggled with mental health and career changes and heavy, repetitive loss. We fought. We cried. We yelled. We swore we were not meant to be.

We had our babies and things got harder. We were tired. We neglected each other in order to survive individually. We almost gave up so many times.

But we didn’t.

A true love story isn’t about who is stubborn or drives better or falls asleep first and hogs the covers. It includes all of those things, but our story is about the things that brought us together and almost tore us apart,and the life that we have built.

In my forties, I realize that true love is not about butterflies and first kisses. It is about patience, commitment, tolerance and gratitude. It is about sacrifice and compromise. It is about acceptance and loving all of the parts of someone even when you don’t like them.

It’s about taking turns lending strength and letting shit go. Love means taking good enough care of yourself so that you can give the best of you to your partner.

And so we’ll carry on. I’m sure that I’ll be an absolute ridiculous bitch about something and he’ll tell me to go fuck myself and we will not speak for an hour sometime again in the really near future. Because we’re human. And it’s really, really ok.

We’ll still be in love after.

That is what a love story is.

Still being in love after…..

Women’s Rights Are Same As Men’s Rights. Also Known As *Rights* You Idiotic POS.

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Have you fucking read THIS?

Read it.  From start to finish, including the statement from the US Senate candidate that the article is about.

If you are a Republican, or Trump supporter, or in any way have your head literally stuck so far up your ass that you cannot see what is sitting RIGHT in front of you amidst the smoke and mirrors and self serving propaganda utter bullshit that comes out of the POTUS’s mouth, read this.

If you are a woman, read this.

And then get angry.

Look, women can be homemakers or stay at home parents if they want to.   I have written so many times about the struggle of balancing career and family.  I am of the opinion that if one parent can stay at home or work part time, or you can modify your work life in any way so that your children have the benefit of spending more time with a parent than another caregiver, do that.   I am ALSO of the opinion that those are things that a woman can decide for herself, without the government stepping in and deciding what her fucking role in life is.

There is a lot of pride in staying home with your children.  It’s hard, often thankless work.   It’s emotionally exhausting some days and extremely rewarding the next.   And if you choose and are financially able to make this work for your family, I respect and support that choice.

In no way does that diminish a woman’s right to choose if this is the life she ultimately wants, and in no way does this give men in  Washington, or Ottawa or London or wherever the reigns in making that decision for them.  In no way does this diminish the world’s need for women in top decision making roles for their countries or communities.

It doesn’t make them “career obsessed banshees” and it ALSO doesn’t mean that a man can’t have a home cooked meal at 6:00pm every night, because last time I checked he can cook it his damn self.

Aren’t we past this yet? When are men like Courtland Sykes going to stop thinking that women are around just to make their lives easier? When are men going to realize that women standing up and saying we are not objects or toys or prizes to be won and manipulated doesn’t make us anti men, it makes us anti abuse?

The patriarchy are getting scared, because they want to keep women in the subordinate, supportive roles.   And its really because they know they can’t do it alone and aren’t reasonable and mature enough to share the credit and say thank you.  They want all the credit for everything even though they barely do half the work.  And maybe, they are terrified that they are replaceable by women doing a better job then they are, when the world keeps seeing the same old problems over and over again and perhaps women offer a different perspective and solution.

Oh Hell no, Mr. Sykes.

This is finished, you are right about that.   But it’s not feminism that’s finished.   Every time a man says shit like this you just poured liquid gas on a fire that is rapidly approaching everything you have known for a very long time.   And we are about to burn that shit down.

 

 

 

International Woman’s Day Is Every Day

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Wearing red for IWD 2017

Once upon a time, someone at a press conference asked Joss Whedon why he always writes such strong female characters and created stories about them.   ( not a direct quote, but you get the idea).

After a while he concluded it was because people are still asking him that question.

Do you ever notice that?   Nobody would ask a writer or producer or director why there are strong male characters, we just sorta expect that to happen.

But a strong woman character?   How odd.

Today, on International Woman’s Day, I want to acknowledge every single woman out there who has ever had to work twice as hard to get half as far.  I want to acknowledge every woman who made the tough decision to give up their career in order to raise their family.  The woman who gave up the idea of ever having children because the demands of her male dominated field would never tolerate it, no matter what the law says.

For every woman who has said no and had yes stolen from her.  For every woman who raised a child she never wanted and couldn’t afford but loved regardless while a man had the luxury of walking away.

Every little girl who was told she couldn’t, wouldn’t, and didn’t deserve to anyway.  For the little girl who grew up and said fuck that, and did it better than any man.

For every wife who stood by her partner and made it possible for him to succeed while receiving no credit for it.

For every time you wiped a snotty nose or changed a diaper or made it through another day without crying yourself to sleep from exhaustion and frustration while receiving no thank you for the life you are supporting.

For every minute of childbirth that you endured in order to bring the greatest love of your life into this world.

For every woman who ever looked in the mirror and hated herself.  For putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own.

And for every woman who decided what she wanted and got it.   For inspiring other girls and women to do better for themselves.

For every single woman out there, regardless of your heritage, your colour, your sexuality, your socio-economic status, your age, your education.   Regardless of everything.

You are worth more to this world than the world knows.  

Be strong, be demanding, and never ever back down.   Be resilient.  Be epic.

International Woman’s Day is every fucking day.   Joss Whedon gets that.   Be more like Joss Whedon.

 

No, My One Piece Bathing Suit Doesn’t Hide My Non Thigh Gap Either

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I just read this article on Huffington Post called “This swimsuit ad proves you don’t need a thigh gap to wear a bikini”.

I mean, I get what the article and mostly its title are trying to convey.  They are trying to encourage us to embrace our bodies and know that we are beautiful whether a size 2 or 22.

But wait.

I didn’t know there was a rule about thigh gaps and bikinis.

Bitches, I have been doing it wrong for like 20 years.  How come nobody ever told me about this rule?  How am I not arrested by the Beach Patrol?

Thigh Gap? Are you kidding me?  The only time my thighs aren’t touching is when my legs are wrapped around something. Like when horseback riding, for example. Perverts.

Seriously though.  Is that what women have been told all their lives?   That if you don’t have a thigh gap you are too fat to wear a bikini?  Somebody needs to call the swimsuit stores, because I would estimate that only about 25% of women out there have a thigh gap.  And if you look in the stores, about 75% of the bathing suits on the shelves are indeed bikinis.

That ratio seems a bit wrong doesn’t it?

I mean, where are they hiding all these one piece bathing suits that come down far enough to cover up this hideous flesh touching that is going on between my legs?

Oh. RIGHT.  The non thigh gap bathing suits are hiding over there…..right next to the potato sack aisle.

Jesus Fucking Christ already.

This swimsuit ad proves nothing to me.  Except perhaps that we are still busy trying to label and manage everybody elses wardrobe according to ridiculous standards of beauty that don’t even fucking exist.  And don’t get me wrong, the women in the ad are stunning and I think the intended message is good.

But it doesn’t prove that you don’t need a thigh gap to wear a bikini.  It may prove that retailers are now starting to understand that all women have worth and deserve to feel beautiful. Or at least they are starting to realize that women are rejecting this stupid beauty ideal and wised up that there is money to be made off of women of every shape and size.  That its ok to still wear gorgeous clothes if you are bigger than a size 6. Maybe it’s a good place to start, but to me its also a reminder about we still see any deviation from impossible ideals for many many women as imperfections.

Ladies, your non thigh gaps are perfect. Your hips that bore children are perfect. That extra flesh around your belly is soft and perfect and part of you.  You don’t need a swimsuit ad to prove that to you.  Just put on a fucking bathing suit and go swimming.  If we all just start doing it it will become the normal thing and nobody will need to prove anything to you about your body anymore.

Bikinis are for everyone.  One pieces are for everyone. Last time I checked, a bikini exposes some flesh around the tummy, and leaves my thighs alone.  A bikini does nothing to affect my thigh gap.  Or lack their of.

So fuck off.

End Rant.

 

Listen Ted. Stop Being An Asshole And Just Go To The Fucking Parade Already

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commons.wikimedia.org

Canada has been kinda smug lately about how we treat our LGBTQ community so much better than the United States do.

But you know what?

We’ve still got our fair share of Bigoted, Bible Thumping, Hiding Behind Jesusers up here too.  And they love politics just as much as those possum-fucking losers in the American Bible Belt.

Why am I picking on the Christians?  Because we are a right bunch of assholes sometimes.

The latest controversy is over the refusal of a Member of Parliament, Ted Falk, to attend the Pride celebrations and parade in a town called Steinbach.  Steinbach is in the heart of a deeply Mennonite community where it is no secret how they feel about gay marriage.

Yes.  I know that the Bible says something about “man shall not lay with man”  or something along those lines.  But I’m pretty sure he also told us that there was a limit on how many slaves you could own and how you’re not allowed to touch a woman when she’s having her period.   By the way, it also has a list of 10 Ways Not To Be An Asshole.   Otherwise known as the 10 Commandments.  There’s a biggie in there about loving your neighbour as yourself.  Check it out sometime.

Here’s my biggest problem with all of this.  Canada is not actually a Christian country.  There are a great many of us who are indeed Christian.  Some of them support LGBTQ rights and some use their faith as an excuse to continue to spread hatred.  But as a Member of Parliament, you must leave your personal beliefs at the door, and support the laws of this country.  You are welcome to try and influence and change laws, but you must uphold the rights of all the citizens.

And unfortunately, Ted Falk, the law is not on your side here.  Bigotry is something that should not be tolerated in any capacity from a Member of Parliament, and I would suggest that your personal belief system is getting in your way of doing your job.

The other problem I have is that I think bigots like Ted Falk here make some sort of weird assumption that a Pride parade and celebration is some sort of recruitment drive.

Honey, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? The gays don’t want you.  There is a standard of fabulousness required that I just don’t think you could ever live up to.

Rather, the Pride celebrations are supposed to be a celebration of not having to hide yourself.  A celebration of being able to love freely who you love without having to fear arrest or abuse.  Clearly, we aren’t there yet, but we are a far cry from those days in New York City where the police raided the Stonewall Inn.  The Pride celebrations around the world are a reminder of this event, and how far we have come in accepting and loving everybody as they are, not how you interpret that they should be.

As a Christian, your job is to promote love and protect your brothers from harm. And yes, they are your brothers.  And sisters.  That’s your calling.

And as a Representative of your country, your job is to uphold and support the laws that are in place, and be present in a official capacity as needed in your community.  And newsflash:  Part of the population that your represent is LGBTQ.

Out of all the laws in the Bible, I don’t understand why we’re allowed to ignore all the other ones from the Old Testament and yet this one is like the Golden Fucking Rule.

I mean, we’re also not supposed to eat shellfish.  Do you take  stand on this, Ted, and refuse to enter any restaurant that has shrimp on the menu?  I mean, how are you supposed to support these blasphemous eaters of shellfish, when God has explicitly said not too?

How can you stand by and watch your children run and hug their mother or cousin who got her period this morning?  The filth!

And how can I, good Christian woman that I am, stand by idly while you clearly don’t love your neighbour as yourself?

I can’t.  Neither should anybody else.

Your values aren’t the only values that matter in this country.  And so, as a member of our Federal Government, you need to find a way to get past your bigoted, hypocritical “value” system and do your fucking job.

Stop making Jesus look bad by using Him as an excuse to act like a dick.  Just go to the fucking parade already.  Wear a rainbow, have a beer and no promises, but I’m pretty sure no one is going to gay rape you.

That was actually the Catholic Church…but that’s a whole other post.

 

I Throw Things When I’m Mad Too, Johnny

In case any of you haven’t heard…since the intimate details of celebrities lives are obviously the most important news story of all,  Johnny Depp is in some deep shit right now over allegations of domestic violence and spousal abuse.

There are a million different reports of this and that, and despite the judge granting Amber Heard ( his now estranged wife) a temporary restraining order, most of what you see in the media seems to be supporting Johnny.

As for the restraining order, JD is probably thinking that he never wants to be within a hundred yards of her ever again anyway.  Whatever.

Now I don’t know what has gone inside their home, but it seems to me that Ms.Heard’s credibility is on the line.  I feel like posting pictures of broken pictures and wine bottles on social media proves nothing.  I feel like having some sort of odd bruising that disappears or moves the next day when you post another picture on social media of yourself out with friends is fishy.  I feel like the police being called to you place over an argument without seeing any of these aforementioned things doesn’t help your story.

Johnny Depp seems like a quiet, passive man.  It’s hard to imagine him getting angry or violent, yet we all get pissed off and say and do regrettable shit.  All of us.

So, could he have gotten mad and whipped a cell phone at his wife?  Sure.  I throw things when I’m pissed off sometimes too.  Does that make him a wife beater?  I personally don’t think so, but the police may see it differently.

Anyway, I don’t know what happened inside their marriage.  But, I did see a few things online that suggested that we once again and without question support the accuser.  And it sort of irked me.

Bitches, we have a justice system that states someone is innocent until proven guilty.  We have NO IDEA what happened in this relationship, and the accuser’s behavior prior to and after the alleged abuse is in question.

And yes, I think her behavior IS relevant.  Just because someone makes a claim doesn’t make it true.  What if she isn’t being *brave*?  What if she’s just being a greedy bitch?

Men have no right to put their hands on a woman in anger or any other fashion that is unwanted.  We can all agree on that.

But simply because a woman makes an accusation against someone doesn’t make it true.  In this particular case, there is a significant amount of money being sought by the accuser.  And there is no better motivator of assholery than he potential for someone to pay you 50,000$ a month just because you slept in the same bed for 15 months.

I just feel like the buzzword all over social media right now is to believe and support all accusers without question.  And that, Bitches, is a dangerous move.  Notice I didn’t say victims.  I didn’t say victims because we are not the ones to determine whether a crime has been committed and therefore there is an actual victim.  The police are.  And in this particular case, they had determined that a crime did NOT occur, and therefore there is not a victim yet.  Merely an accuser with a lot of motivation to lie.

There is a system in place that is maybe not ideal, and very difficult to navigate, but it’s there to protect ALL of us.  It’s there to protect victims and to protect people against false allegations.

I’m sorry, but when we try to use social media to validate criminal allegations, it makes you look foolish and tarnishes your credibility.  Posting pictures of “evidence” on Twitter is ridiculous.

Shit like this with Amber Heard are doing nothing but diminish the experiences of true victims of domestic violence.

We shall see what happens…..but I think the truth is not even close to what we read on line.  What do you think?

 

 

 

11 Things Men Find Attractive About A Woman

I jut read this bullshit article called “10 Things Men Find Unattractive”.

I say it’s a bullshit article because it mainly talks about hair and makeup styling.  Last time I checked, my husband barely knows what mascara is, and is certainly not going to lean in and inspect whether or not it has clumped up.  He’s not going to look at my hair when I have it pinned and styled in an updo and roll his eyes and say ” That is so unattractive

Maybe I’ve been out of the dating scene for too long, but are all the girls out there trying to date gay men?

Because they are the only demographic of men I can think of who are going to care about my hair or if my foundation is applied right or what colour my lip liner is. By the way, 1990 just called and they want their lip liner back.  Who the fuck has time to wear lip liner?

You know what actual, real live men care about and find unattractive?

Assholery.  Game playing. High maintenance chicks whose self worth is attached to their relationship.  Being a bitch. Being unappreciative when something nice is done for them.

You know what I think men find attractive about a woman?

  1. Tits.
  2. Sincerity
  3. Blowjobs
  4. Confidence
  5. Not being an asshole
  6. Liking sports
  7. Sense of humour
  8. Being able to have an intelligent conversation
  9. Willingness to be naked
  10. A lot.  Being naked a lot.
  11. Beer.  (Maybe that’s not a female trait, but most men love beer)

Listen, Bitches.  I am no relationship expert. But I know that if you are worried that your bad hair day or clumpy makeup is going to make your man find you unattractive, you are with the wrong man.

The right man will find you sexy at your best, your worst and everything in between.  Stop allowing bullshit articles like this one make you feel like your appearance is the single most important thing that people judge you and love you for. Stop allowing an impossible ideal and standard be that one unattainable thing in your life that haunts you.  Stop worrying about what you look like on the outside all the time, and spend more time working on all the things on the inside.

And learn about sports.  Men really, really like when they can watch the game with their chick.  And then show him your tits.

Sincerely,

The Nakedest, Footballest, Show Em Yout Tits-est Girl That Ever Was.

 

The Answer Is To Love the Assholery Out Of Your Kids

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You know me, Bitches.  I usually have nothing but sarcasm or repulsion when it comes to these articles and books written by experts on parenting.  I feel like so many of them are meant to freak us out, make us panic that we are doing it wrong, and entice us to buy a product or a book that will “fix” our child.

And then I read this.  You should read it too.  It’s called “Child Behavior:When nothing else works, consider these 7 strategies.

What if maybe, just maybe, it’s not the children who need to be fixed?  What if it society  has changed the parent child relationship so much that we need to find a way to fix that instead?

Yesterday I wrote about trying to find balance, and how hard it is to juggle being a working parent….even a working parent who has had the luxury of only working part time, and mostly from home.  I am one of the lucky few who hasn’t struggled to find daycare  while I worked full time out of the home.

And then I read this piece and felt so super validated.

As the world has changed in the last 60 years or so, they dynamic of families has changed.  We went from one parent at home to women’s lib and now the necessity of two working parents.  We have gone from having the luxury and responsibility of raising our children and teaching them what we value, to having to ask ( and pay) someone else to do it for us.  We miss out on so many things and simply cannot do it all.

So what if maybe, all the behavior problems we see in kids are merely manifestations of “lost” kids?  What if the structure of our families today are at the root of difficult kids? What if all we need to do to “fix” our kids is to spend more time with them?  What if the solution to good kids is to recreate the bond between a parent and child so that they feel safe, confident, and clear about what we expect of them?  It seems too simple and too obvious to be true!

The author of the above article suggests that because there is such a disconnect between parents and their children now, the respect kids once showed their parents and adults in general doesn’t develop in the same way.

Managing child behavior has and will always be determined by the quality of the relationship between the adult and the child.

I am so, so grateful for the time I have spent with my kids.  Despite the exhaustion and the bitching on my part, I would not have changed anything, unless it was to be able to afford me to be a completely stay at home mom.

And it’s not because I’m all crunchy and old school or weird.

I just love my kids.  And I want them to be good people.

I’ve said a million times in my teaching studio that I am not the most talented violinist out there.  Not even close.  I am a somewhat competent musician with a knack for finding a way to break things down and teach people around me.  But the biggest part of my success is my ability to develop meaningful and loving relationships with my students and their families so that they trust me to have their best interest at heart.  They trust me and respect the things I say because they are confident in my affection and concern for them.

And so why wouldn’t this apply to our relationships with our own kids?

And again, how do we find balance?

Am I saying that women have caused this by entering the work place?  Absolutely not.  I think it is actually the reality of our economy that forces families to need two incomes has more to do with that than anything.  A man is welcome to stay home if it works best for his family.

I don’t know.  Maybe we just need to unplug a little more from things that distract us from one another and plug into each other.  Find a way to connect with our kids every day so that they know we are available.  Talk with them more.  Listen even more. Develop a relationship with them that is rooted in love, and maintained by respect.

Either way.  If I can win at parenting simply by having a good relationship with my kids, that seems like the simplest, best advice I’ve ever read.

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Living the Montessori life as a mom with two young children

Pirate Patty Reviews

Books, Books, and More Books!!

Archon's Den

The Rants & Rambles of A Grumpy Old Dude

Mind Of An In-Depth Woman

My thoughts about love, music, spirituality, relationships, life and random topics in between

The Bede Update

He may be small but he is mighty

Ends and Beginnings

"The World is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."-Ivy Baker Priest

Musings of An Insomniac

Late night thoughts of a perpetual dreamer..

Surviving Grief

How to embrace grief and heal

dwaineevanssr

This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

BigAndPinkyToes

A blog about family, food, and other good stuff.

Mums diary blog

MOTHERHOOD ~ FASHION ~ FAMILY LIFESTYLE #mumsdiaryblog

Breaking Sarah - Bruised, Not Broken

One woman's raw journey through incest, teen pregnancy, trauma, death, and family estrangement.

brickhousechick

Letting it all hang out

lifebeyondmommy

A stay at home mothers guide to self discovery

Peace Hacks

life, faith, adultimatums. Resources for peace seekers

Luminous Blue

a mother's and daughter's journey with transformation, cancer, death and love

The Secret Life of Emily Maine

a place to shout my secrets

Dramatic Momologue

The juggle is real.

andrea shawcross

comedy writer & maker of filmstuffs.

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

David McVety

A Spiritual Shepherd's Thoughts on Faith and Family

Beating Myself Into a Dress

First a wedding dress, then a maternity dress, now I'm just trying to fit into ANY dress.

The Fat Chick Memoirs

Dealing with my Weight-Loss One Funny Story at a Time

The Science of Mom

The Heart and Science of Parenting

The Fat Bottom Bard

Waxing Poetic and Penning Tall Tales

Jeneral Musings

A personal potpourri of thoughts

Supporting Birth Diversity

Celebrating the Tapestry of Motherhood

rarasaur

frightfully wondrous things happen here.

An Early Start

Meet Jax a funny, kind, and smart preschooler who was a micro-preemie born at 23 weeks. Now that Jax is older, the scariness of the NICU has faded, but we're still learning how to manage the lasting effects of prematurity including chronic medical issues, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. This is our story of love, hope, and survival.

Writings From Dr. Oolie's Pond

Poetry, Prose, and Random Thoughts

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