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thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Category: politics

This Is Not A Post About Victim Blaming. It’s A Post About Girl Power.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the #metoo movement lately.   Here in Canada, we are not without political scandal.  In the past month we have had our fair share of politicians and influential media people who have been accused of sexual misconduct and left their job or been suspended as a result.

The thing that kills me is the consistency of the feelings the women share.   Nearly every single one of them were in a situation with a man who had power over them of some sort due to a direct boss-employee type of relationship, or the man was in a position to influence their career in some way.

Why does this kill me?    Because I find myself thinking, what girl in her right mind would put herself in that situation?   And what women wouldn’t say  what the actual fuck when some guy randomly whips out his dick and blows a load all over his office floor?   Why wouldn’t you turn down the next round of drinks instead of leaving yourself in a state of impairment that makes you vulnerable?

Well, I guess Margaret Atwood said it best.

Nothing changes instantaneously…..in a gradually heating bathtub, you‘d be boiled to death before you knew it.

The problem is that women, although we have made great advances in terms of choice and lifestyle and rights, have been sitting in that fucking bathtub for so long that we haven’t noticed how hot the water is.   Women feel like they can’t say no.   They feel like they have to accept bad behaviour.  We have been conditioned to tolerate things we don’t like to keep the peace.

We do it in all of our relationships, not just in regards to sexual misconduct in the workplace.  Or out of the workplace.

We are so so fucking worried that we are going to offend someone by being honest about what we want or don’t want.   By asking for what we need and refusing to settle.   We put our own needs last for the sake of others around us.

There is this perception that a woman who stands up for herself is selfish, or a bitch, or just plain difficult.

Well SO WHAT?

Nothing is going to change unless we contribute to that change.  And by contributing, I mean turn the cold water tap on and demand better.   Stop accepting shit because that’s what feels easier in the moment.   It’s not easier.

And it doesn’t mean that men aren’t the ones responsible for this crap.   I just feel like we have put the expectation on men to treat women fairly and respectfully and they have been fucking it up for so long, why are we trusting them to them to fix it?

They are the ones who need to adjust their behaviour, but people do what “works”.  It’s been working for men all this time.  And until every single one of us girls says Oh Hell No every single time and demands to be treated as equals, the bad behaviour will continue.

It’s not a woman’s fault.  It’s never her fault.  But it’s our responsibility to fight for something that is better.   It’s our responsibility to catalyze change for our daughters. Sometimes we just forget that we are powerful enough to say no, and that is the message we need to keep repeating.   We need to hear that we will be supported when we say no, and that can only come from changing the current culture and the imbalance of power.

 

 

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Women’s Rights Are Same As Men’s Rights. Also Known As *Rights* You Idiotic POS.

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Have you fucking read THIS?

Read it.  From start to finish, including the statement from the US Senate candidate that the article is about.

If you are a Republican, or Trump supporter, or in any way have your head literally stuck so far up your ass that you cannot see what is sitting RIGHT in front of you amidst the smoke and mirrors and self serving propaganda utter bullshit that comes out of the POTUS’s mouth, read this.

If you are a woman, read this.

And then get angry.

Look, women can be homemakers or stay at home parents if they want to.   I have written so many times about the struggle of balancing career and family.  I am of the opinion that if one parent can stay at home or work part time, or you can modify your work life in any way so that your children have the benefit of spending more time with a parent than another caregiver, do that.   I am ALSO of the opinion that those are things that a woman can decide for herself, without the government stepping in and deciding what her fucking role in life is.

There is a lot of pride in staying home with your children.  It’s hard, often thankless work.   It’s emotionally exhausting some days and extremely rewarding the next.   And if you choose and are financially able to make this work for your family, I respect and support that choice.

In no way does that diminish a woman’s right to choose if this is the life she ultimately wants, and in no way does this give men in  Washington, or Ottawa or London or wherever the reigns in making that decision for them.  In no way does this diminish the world’s need for women in top decision making roles for their countries or communities.

It doesn’t make them “career obsessed banshees” and it ALSO doesn’t mean that a man can’t have a home cooked meal at 6:00pm every night, because last time I checked he can cook it his damn self.

Aren’t we past this yet? When are men like Courtland Sykes going to stop thinking that women are around just to make their lives easier? When are men going to realize that women standing up and saying we are not objects or toys or prizes to be won and manipulated doesn’t make us anti men, it makes us anti abuse?

The patriarchy are getting scared, because they want to keep women in the subordinate, supportive roles.   And its really because they know they can’t do it alone and aren’t reasonable and mature enough to share the credit and say thank you.  They want all the credit for everything even though they barely do half the work.  And maybe, they are terrified that they are replaceable by women doing a better job then they are, when the world keeps seeing the same old problems over and over again and perhaps women offer a different perspective and solution.

Oh Hell no, Mr. Sykes.

This is finished, you are right about that.   But it’s not feminism that’s finished.   Every time a man says shit like this you just poured liquid gas on a fire that is rapidly approaching everything you have known for a very long time.   And we are about to burn that shit down.

 

 

 

It’s A Gun Problem, But It’s Not Just A Gun Problem

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https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/1/24/1735744/-Man-outraged-by-11th-school-shooting-this-year-posts-This-is-Bailey-Holt-GOD-DAMMIT-LOOK-AT-HER?detail=facebook

I don’t even really know what to say.

Here’s the thing.  The US isn’t the only place where regular people like you and me have access to firearms.   We are a responsible, gun owning family.   Our guns are locked up in steel safes that require a fingerprint, an access code or a key (which we keep hidden) to open.   We don’t fuck around, because not only do I have children, but there are other people’s children in my house.

But why then, do we not have the gun violence, particularly in schools, like they do in the US?

Why is this the answer people run to to solve their problems?   How do we go from those kids are assholes to I’m gonna go shoot up a school and steal someone’s child from them? When did shooting people become a solution to your problems?

Its guns, but its just not guns.   Its that we are afraid to discipline our kids.   We are afraid to hurt their feelings or teach them how to resolve shit directly because somebody might get offended.  We are so afraid of honesty and human connection and empathy that our course of action has become to simply just eliminate the problem.

This is a gun problem, but its not just a gun problem.   We live in a culture that glorifies violence in movies, and tv.   We live in a culture where we feel like the only way to protect ourselves is with violence.  We live in a culture where we have forgotten how to pay attention to the signs our kids are giving us because we are just so busy all the goddamn time.

We live in a time where the lawmakers are busy pissing around trying to make the other guy look bad so they can’t be bothered to solve any of the real issues plaguing their country.

We live in a place where you can’t buy a kinder surprise egg or a exersaucer on wheels because its too dangerous but you can buy a gun to keep in your home.

I don’t know what the solution is.   Because its a gun problem, but it’s also a people problem.  We are so fucked up.   We are broken and incapable of being human to one another.   People who aren’t broken by something don’t walk into a school and start shooting up their classmates.

And unfortunately, if you wait around for some asshole in Washington to finally decide that nobody can buy guns and think that will magically fix the violence that is plaguing the US, you will be waiting a really really long time.

This isn’t going away unless we change the dynamic in our homes and in our lives.   And if somewhere along the way the people in charge of shit pull their head out of their asses long enough to contribute by toughening up their gun restrictions, that would be really fucking helpful too.

Sleep well, Bailey.

 

No Mr.Trump, The Women’s March Wasn’t About The Lowest Female Unemployment In 18 Years

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You know, a couple of generations ago, women were struggling to find their place in society.   We struggled to emerge from predominantly being the keepers and managers of our homes and families to join the work force and be accepted more regularly in fields that were saturated with men.  We were struggling with the choice to accept our current roles in the home or to evolve into something more.   Something that equaled our partners.

And then once women were seen more and more in the workforce we struggled with being heard.   With feeling like our ideas and theories and methods were not only as valid as our male counterparts, but perhaps sometimes superior.    And then we struggled to be compensated equally for equal contributions.   And we still struggle with that today.

So no, feminism for me doesn’t have anything to do with how many women hold this office or that office.  It doesn’t have to do with Trump’s claim that we have the lowest female unemployment in 18 years.   We already covered that part of feminism.   We are part of the work force, duh.     Stop taking credit for work begun and accomplished by others.

And no, being able to list a bunch of women that hold office or *high powered* positions in government doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me when overall the percentage of women in US government is only 24.9%, and men outnumber women 2 to 1 as White House aides.    Last time I checked we account for about 50% of the population.  That’s not equal representation, that’s some representation and it still needs work.

So what does feminism mean to me?

It would mean a world where I didn’t have to keep my keys between my knuckles when I walk out side from my campus studio to my car.   It would mean not making a point to look behind me if I hear footsteps so that I can look a would-be attacker in the eye and let them know I saw them.

It would mean not feeling like I should take one of the treadmills that has only a wall behind it, so that when I stretch after a run some guy behind me isn’t watching me bend over.   So he doesn’t think that the reason I am stretching is actually for his benefit.

It would mean not hearing my boss make a hiring decision based on whether or not that girl had a nice smile.

It would mean people not asking me who’s taking care of my children while I’m at work.  Like it’s so hard to fathom that maybe they are with their father, who is an excellent dad and equally competent to watch his own kids.

It would mean being seen for your merits without bias.

It would mean that my daughter never has to fight to be heard or seen or valued.   That nothing but her hard work and merit helps her attain her goals.  That no man would ever fathom to try and take advantage of her.

It would mean that the word *No* is the end of a conversation, rather than the beginning of a negotiation.  It would mean that men would understand that they cannot use force, or threat, or sex to intimidate a woman to get what they want.   And that women don’t feel like their greatest asset to attain what they want is their sexuality.

Because that’s kinda what it comes down to, isn’t it?   Feminism for me, at this moment is most meaningful as a movement to help men understand that they cannot and no longer will try to control a woman and /or her body.   From reproductive rights and care, to sexual misconduct and rape.  And everything in between.

Get away from our vaginas, stay out of our uteri, and get the fuck over our breasts already.   That’s what feminism means for me right now.

So yes, it was a beautiful day for the Women’s March yesterday, Mr. Trump.   Too bad you don’t understand the context of it AT ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank God Justine Damond Was White

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I keep reading all these articles about the Australian woman shot and killed in Minneapolis by police.

And it’s a terrible tragedy.  My heart and condolences go out to the family of Justine Damond.  No parent or spouse or child should ever have to wonder why the fuck a police officer would freak out and shoot their loved one for absolutely no cause.

That’s just it, though, isn’t it?

It’s taken a white woman who had called 911 as a witness to a potential crime getting mistakenly ( or intentionally, who knows) shot by a law enforcement individual sworn to protect her to enrage the community enough that people are losing their jobs.   The Chief of Police has resigned.   People are demanding that the mayor resign.

I guess its a good thing she was white or nobody would give a fuck, eh?

If it had been a black woman it probably would not have even made it in the news, because that fucking happens ALL THE TIME.   We are almost desensitized to it.   Or we make assumptions that she must have reached for a weapon or the officers had reason to fear for their own well being.  They must have been justified somehow.  Or we think that its an honest mistake.

If it had been a black woman we’d just have a bunch of black people from her community holding vigils and protesting.  Grieving their loss and wondering how this could be happening over and over again and then a shit ton of police in riot gear would show up to keep the *peace* that they fucking broke to begin with.

But no.   Thank God for Justine Damond being white.  All it took was for a white woman to be the victim of the very same violence that black citizens have been subject to since forever for the city to be turned upside fucking down. Maybe it opened people’s eyes enough for them to experience the outrage of a human being who has no intention of doing harm getting killed by a trigger happy police force.   Now a white girl got killed so some heads are rolling.   There is an appropriate and much needed reaction happening and real investigations happening into the behaviour and the culture of policing in that city.

And although I’m sure it isn’t any consolation to Justine Diamond’s family, maybe her death will have a purpose. Maybe there will be some justice for her.  Maybe her death will help to change these bullshit scenarios of police violence in the US.

Maybe it will be a step in the right direction.

But I’m not holding my breath.

 

 

International Woman’s Day Is Every Day

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Wearing red for IWD 2017

Once upon a time, someone at a press conference asked Joss Whedon why he always writes such strong female characters and created stories about them.   ( not a direct quote, but you get the idea).

After a while he concluded it was because people are still asking him that question.

Do you ever notice that?   Nobody would ask a writer or producer or director why there are strong male characters, we just sorta expect that to happen.

But a strong woman character?   How odd.

Today, on International Woman’s Day, I want to acknowledge every single woman out there who has ever had to work twice as hard to get half as far.  I want to acknowledge every woman who made the tough decision to give up their career in order to raise their family.  The woman who gave up the idea of ever having children because the demands of her male dominated field would never tolerate it, no matter what the law says.

For every woman who has said no and had yes stolen from her.  For every woman who raised a child she never wanted and couldn’t afford but loved regardless while a man had the luxury of walking away.

Every little girl who was told she couldn’t, wouldn’t, and didn’t deserve to anyway.  For the little girl who grew up and said fuck that, and did it better than any man.

For every wife who stood by her partner and made it possible for him to succeed while receiving no credit for it.

For every time you wiped a snotty nose or changed a diaper or made it through another day without crying yourself to sleep from exhaustion and frustration while receiving no thank you for the life you are supporting.

For every minute of childbirth that you endured in order to bring the greatest love of your life into this world.

For every woman who ever looked in the mirror and hated herself.  For putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own.

And for every woman who decided what she wanted and got it.   For inspiring other girls and women to do better for themselves.

For every single woman out there, regardless of your heritage, your colour, your sexuality, your socio-economic status, your age, your education.   Regardless of everything.

You are worth more to this world than the world knows.  

Be strong, be demanding, and never ever back down.   Be resilient.  Be epic.

International Woman’s Day is every fucking day.   Joss Whedon gets that.   Be more like Joss Whedon.

 

Listen Ted. Stop Being An Asshole And Just Go To The Fucking Parade Already

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Canada has been kinda smug lately about how we treat our LGBTQ community so much better than the United States do.

But you know what?

We’ve still got our fair share of Bigoted, Bible Thumping, Hiding Behind Jesusers up here too.  And they love politics just as much as those possum-fucking losers in the American Bible Belt.

Why am I picking on the Christians?  Because we are a right bunch of assholes sometimes.

The latest controversy is over the refusal of a Member of Parliament, Ted Falk, to attend the Pride celebrations and parade in a town called Steinbach.  Steinbach is in the heart of a deeply Mennonite community where it is no secret how they feel about gay marriage.

Yes.  I know that the Bible says something about “man shall not lay with man”  or something along those lines.  But I’m pretty sure he also told us that there was a limit on how many slaves you could own and how you’re not allowed to touch a woman when she’s having her period.   By the way, it also has a list of 10 Ways Not To Be An Asshole.   Otherwise known as the 10 Commandments.  There’s a biggie in there about loving your neighbour as yourself.  Check it out sometime.

Here’s my biggest problem with all of this.  Canada is not actually a Christian country.  There are a great many of us who are indeed Christian.  Some of them support LGBTQ rights and some use their faith as an excuse to continue to spread hatred.  But as a Member of Parliament, you must leave your personal beliefs at the door, and support the laws of this country.  You are welcome to try and influence and change laws, but you must uphold the rights of all the citizens.

And unfortunately, Ted Falk, the law is not on your side here.  Bigotry is something that should not be tolerated in any capacity from a Member of Parliament, and I would suggest that your personal belief system is getting in your way of doing your job.

The other problem I have is that I think bigots like Ted Falk here make some sort of weird assumption that a Pride parade and celebration is some sort of recruitment drive.

Honey, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? The gays don’t want you.  There is a standard of fabulousness required that I just don’t think you could ever live up to.

Rather, the Pride celebrations are supposed to be a celebration of not having to hide yourself.  A celebration of being able to love freely who you love without having to fear arrest or abuse.  Clearly, we aren’t there yet, but we are a far cry from those days in New York City where the police raided the Stonewall Inn.  The Pride celebrations around the world are a reminder of this event, and how far we have come in accepting and loving everybody as they are, not how you interpret that they should be.

As a Christian, your job is to promote love and protect your brothers from harm. And yes, they are your brothers.  And sisters.  That’s your calling.

And as a Representative of your country, your job is to uphold and support the laws that are in place, and be present in a official capacity as needed in your community.  And newsflash:  Part of the population that your represent is LGBTQ.

Out of all the laws in the Bible, I don’t understand why we’re allowed to ignore all the other ones from the Old Testament and yet this one is like the Golden Fucking Rule.

I mean, we’re also not supposed to eat shellfish.  Do you take  stand on this, Ted, and refuse to enter any restaurant that has shrimp on the menu?  I mean, how are you supposed to support these blasphemous eaters of shellfish, when God has explicitly said not too?

How can you stand by and watch your children run and hug their mother or cousin who got her period this morning?  The filth!

And how can I, good Christian woman that I am, stand by idly while you clearly don’t love your neighbour as yourself?

I can’t.  Neither should anybody else.

Your values aren’t the only values that matter in this country.  And so, as a member of our Federal Government, you need to find a way to get past your bigoted, hypocritical “value” system and do your fucking job.

Stop making Jesus look bad by using Him as an excuse to act like a dick.  Just go to the fucking parade already.  Wear a rainbow, have a beer and no promises, but I’m pretty sure no one is going to gay rape you.

That was actually the Catholic Church…but that’s a whole other post.

 

This Elbowgate Thing Is Starting To Really Irritate Me

 

So everybody in Canada is talking about Elbowgate.

Our Prime Minister was involved in some questionably aggressive behavior in the House of Commons in which he came to pull another MP through  crowd of people and INADVERTENTLY made contact with a female MP’s chest with his elbow.

Jesus Fucking Christ everybody in parliament is losing their goddamn minds over it.

Read and watch this.

So ok.  I’m not sure why Trudeau took it upon himself to go over and pull the Opposition’s party whip thorough a crowd of bitchy MPs who were blocking his path, but anybody who has watched the video can clearly see that any contact made with Ellen Brosseau is completely accidental.  He barely touched her, but her reaction was as if he punched her in the vagina on purpose just for being a woman.

Hey Ellen, FIFA called and they want to issue you a red card for acting like a total faker asshole on Parliament Hill.  3 game suspension.

Thomas Mulcair’s reaction was equally ridiculous.  “What kind of man elbows a woman?!” he shrieks into the crowd.  “You’re so pathetic!”

You know what’s pathetic, Tom?  Going from being a strong Opposition party to having about 3 seats in Parliament.  Maybe if you spent less time pointing fingers at everybody else and being a whiny cunt, and more time figuring out a way to inspire people ( Jack Layton is turning over in his fucking grave, dude) you wouldn’t be freaking out over nothing in the House of Commons.

And don’t even get me started about the Conservatives ridiculous comparisons to Trudeau’s accidental contact with Ms. Brosseau with that of a drunk driver not meaning to kill anybody.  That one even has Peter Mansbridge rolling his eyes and saying “That last one was a bit much.”

Oh.  I forgot that Trudeau also apparently said “Fuck”.  As in “Get the Fuck out of my way.”

Bravo, Mr. Prime Minister.  You are now worthy of being called a human being, despite being a politician.

The past week or so has been a total shit show for the Trudeaus.  I am no expert in psychology or in human behavior, but I do know this:

When I worked in a highly competitive, technical world, people who made mountains out of every molehill and made personal attacks against their coworkers just came out looking like total assholes.They try everything to make someone look bad because of their own insecurities.  If you want to shine, shine based on your own merit and by being excellent at your job. Shine by inspiring others. Watching all the MP’s bitch and moan and go on an on about the  incident made me embarrassed to be a Canadian.  It was like listening to a bunch of kindergarten students.  For reals.

The things that the Trudeaus have been in the news about are not the things I want to hear about.  I want to know what new laws are being made.  I want to know where our tax dollars are being spent.  I want to see the work he is doing to make this country better.

I don’t give a fuck about why the Conservatives have wet panties about something he said or what Sophie wore.  I don’t give a fuck , regardless of how entertaining it was to watch, about the near brawl that happened in the House.

Can WE PLEASE just start acting like grownups in this country?

And if we can’t, can WE PLEASE just all drink tequila until we work out our shit?

Dear Sophie Gregoire Trudeau: I’ll Be In Your Village

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en.wikipedia.org

As I’m sure you’ve all heard already, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, wife of our Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was heavily criticized in the media last week when she said she needed more help to be able to manage her workload and three children.

Leading the crusade were MP’s from the Conservatives and NDP parties, accusing her of being out of touch and chastising her for feeling overwhelmed.

And you know what?

Shame on both of them.  Shame on them for continuing to perpetuate the myth that women can and should have it all, do it all, take care of it all, and never complain or ask for help.

It’s almost worse to me that the two leading the negative comments and criticism are women.  Had it been a couple of old sexist men, I would have been less disgusted with the commentary.  But the fact that it is once again women shaming other women makes me seriously want to fucking puke.

Yes.  Mrs. Gregoire Trudeau already has nannies.  So what?   Every working woman has some sort of childcare arrangement. Should she be sending her children to a day home down the street or to a childcare center while she focuses on her duties to the public?  Are there 24 hour, 7 day a week arrangements that could accommodate the irregular hours and changing needs?  Should she hire a local teenager to come in and watch the kids?

Give. Me. A Break.  We are talking about the family of our head of state.

Yes, her “position” as the wife of our Prime Minister is not an official role, and not a paid one.  But there is a huge expectation that she be available for public appearances, and philanthropic and charitable work.   And let’s face it.   I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I can’t seem to remember any other spouse of a political leader in Canada who was so busy working for this country.  I can’t even tell you the name of any spouse of any former Prime Minister, but Sophie is in the news literally every other day.

So yes, I think that she probably does need more staff to continue to do the work she does.

But that’s not even my real issue with this whole thing.

Bitches, it’s okay to ask for help.

We always feel like we aren’t enough.  We need to do more, be better, learn new things, put everybody else first.  And that is such bullshit.

You just can’t do it all on your own. There is no shame in asking for reinforcements.  There is no shame for recognizing that your workload is too heavy and that you need help.  It’s okay to say no sometimes.

And that applies whether you are a single mom, a stay at home mom, a working mom, or the wife of the Prime Minister.  This attack of Sophie Gregoire Trudeau is archaic and sexist and downright so full of assholery and political agenda that I can literally smell the crap from the comfort of my living room.

So cut the shit.  I don’t care if she is asking more than any other spouse did before her.  I don’t care if Stephen Harper’s wife ” did more with less consistently.”  Why is that something we should applaud?  Why should we give less resources to the spouse of our country’s leader and perpetuate this shit that women should just saddle up and suck it up?

I don’t think this request makes her out of touch at all.  I think it makes her feel like very other working mom in the country.  Sometimes overwhelmed, always tired, torn, and normal. 

So  yes.  Give her more staff and stop bitching about it.    In fact, I personally volunteer.  They say it takes a village, and Canada is this woman’s village.

 

 

 

Don’t Be An Asshole To The Trans Person Trying To Pee Either

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In the apparent third installment of what is turning out to be my “Don’t Be An Asshole” series, let’s talk about this transgender bathroom law in North Carolina.

Let me start by asking this:

Huh?

Followed by:

What?

And a:

Da fuck?

Is this actually what all people in suits and fancy shoes spend their days thinking about and working on?  They worry about who is using what bathroom?

They’ve got mass shootings happening at an alarming rate in their country.  Addiction and poverty, with the gap between the rich and the poor only getting wider.  Some crazy ass people half a world away who want to kill us all every day, and our lawmakers are busying themselves trying to prevent somebody from using the can?

How about you make a law that says if you are a terrorist with a bomb you can’t use ANY bathroom in the States?  That would be useful.  I mean, if you gotta go you gotta go.  And not giving bad people bathroom rights is one way to keep asshole killers out of your country, right?

Look. Transgenderism (is that a word?  I’m so sorry if it isn’t.  Please educate me.) is something that can be difficult to wrap your head around.  We as a society have been taught and simply accept that whatever genitalia is on the outside determines who we are on the inside.  That’s the truth that I have always known as well, but I also am willing and determined to understand and accept a new one.

And I know something else.  I don’t actually give a shit about what is going on in your pants.  I give a shit about whether or not you are nice to me and my kids.  I give a shit about whether or not you are happy and whole and treated like a human being and treat other people with kindness and decency.  I give a shit that you are respected for whoever you are and that you can walk around without being scared of being hurt.  I give a shit that you can use the bathroom because you are a person, and sometimes you have to take a shit too.

Although I highly recommend only pooping at home, because who wants to smell up a bathroom and have everybody know that they pooped there?  (This is my own personal hang up and actually a whole other post.) 

Anyway.  I’m just wondering about these fucking politicians who made the law in the first place.  In their giant mansions with 17 bathrooms, do they have designated boy and girl bathrooms?  Are moms allowed to take their children into the same bathroom as them? Do they have a Bathroom Constable who monitors the use of the toilets and make sure no one is getting assaulted?

I don’t care if you are a trans woman who may or may not have a penis ans you are sitting in the stall next to me.  I don’t actually care if you are a trans woman with a robotic piece of garden hose that you pee out of. Who actually DOES care about this? It’s a fucking bathroom.

I’ll tell you who cares about it.  People who are afraid.  People tend to get afraid of things they don’t understand or can’t identify with. And the idea of someone with a penis saying that they are a woman ( or the other way around) and wanting to have surgery to correct their anatomy is a very difficult thing  to understand.  And so people react by trying to put blame or shame on those who are different from them because they are trying to protect their truth.

It really has nothing to do with the trans community.  It has to do with fear and uncertainty and people who so arrogantly think they know what is best for everybody else.

If this law was really about protecting women, they would realize that the real folks in danger are most likely the trans women who would be forced to use a man’s restroom.  They are the ones who will be assaulted.  Not the cis women sharing a bathroom with a trans woman.

My biggest fear for the trans community is that this law will force more trans folk to hide who they are to their coworkers and friends.  I fear that they won’t feel comfortable to publicly identify as trans and I worry about the toll that takes on one’s mental health. Nobody should have to hide from themselves. Trans folk already have such a high risk of depression and suicide, and this law is such a giant step back.

Bitches, every single human being on this planet deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.It’s 2016.  Aren’t we past making laws that segregate people?  Should we get the trans community their own buses and water fountains?  COME ON ALREADY.

The bigotry that this law was founded on reeks of assholery and bullshit.

I think if anything we should make an anti asshole law.  Because THAT, Bitches, would be revolutionary and would actually change the goddamn world.

Don’t be as asshole. Let people use the fucking bathroom.

 

 

AfterOtis

Written by Natalie Oldham

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