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Tag: community

I’m Pretty Sure God Would Rather Have A Heaven Full Of Gays Than The Rest Of The Assholes Out There

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“Gays Belong in Heaven Too” by Maverick Mista Majah P

I’ve been having this fight on the internet with some shitlicker who has declared that gay people, and anyone who supports their rights as human beings are not actually Christians.

Ummm, WHAT?

It was in response to a video that I had posted and a dear friend of mine re-shared about many pastors who had changed their view after careful study of those Scriptures which at first glance seemed to condemn homosexuality, but after deeper thought and insight perhaps were giving a different message.

Now I am no great Bible Scholar. I won’t pretend like I sit by candles every night researching verses and how they apply to me today.  But I do know God’s love.   I know what it feels like to be part of a loving community founded in faith.  I know personally how that affects your life and how thankful I am for a community of people who love and accept each other for what and who they are.  I know what its like to observe and listen to people who demonstrate such grace in their life that it is impossible not to want to be a better human being.

And for me, that is the core of Christianity.  It is building communities of people who love and support one another, instead of trying to out-awesome each other by pointing out all the ways that you fucked up life or broke the rules.

Here’s the thing that is beyond frustrating:  The people that basically don’t believe that folks who are part of the LGBTQ community deserve to be recognized as human beings, let alone be part of a Christian circle get hung up on like 6 verses in the entire Bible that even remotely discuss it.  Its like some golden special rule that cannot possibly be interpreted in any other way that they get all fucking wet about and can’t let it go.

Yet they cherry pick what other rules no longer apply from the Old Testament.   They forget about the ones that tell you not to be greedy, or a dickhead, or what kind of meat you can eat, or how many slaves you can own or how many wives you can have.  Us girls even speak in church now and then, which Paul specifically said is a no-no.   So if all of these laws have evolved to make sense in today’s society, why is the gay thing such a big deal?  Why is that the one law that transcends all time and is not applicable to today’s society where people just love each other regardless of sex, gender identity, race, etc?

You know what I think?   I think Homophobia runs wild in the world still and people who are insecure in their own faith have to find a way to feel superior to others. Its easier to  point out what’s wrong with everybody else so they don’t have to dig in and deal with their own bullshit.  Fear and insecurity are a dangerous combination.  And if you can point out how wrong somebody else is, then you must be right? Right?

Look.  Nobody here gets to determine the validity of another person’s faith or relationship with God.  Unless you’re God.

Anybody out there God?

I didn’t think so.

So the next time any of you bible thumping, self righteous, haters of  love, judgy-judgertons decide who can and can’t be a Christian because of some sort of backwards criteria that you have set do me a favour.

Go find a bag of dicks and beat yourself in the head with them until you realize what your actual fucking job is.  Then go and feed the hungry, give away all your money, and learn what it actually means to love your neighbour as yourself.

And yes.   I am a Sweary Christian.   But trust me, I’m sure God has bigger fish to fry these days than to count the fuck-o-meter on my mouth.   Don’t worry about me….me and God are good.

Listen Ted. Stop Being An Asshole And Just Go To The Fucking Parade Already

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Canada has been kinda smug lately about how we treat our LGBTQ community so much better than the United States do.

But you know what?

We’ve still got our fair share of Bigoted, Bible Thumping, Hiding Behind Jesusers up here too.  And they love politics just as much as those possum-fucking losers in the American Bible Belt.

Why am I picking on the Christians?  Because we are a right bunch of assholes sometimes.

The latest controversy is over the refusal of a Member of Parliament, Ted Falk, to attend the Pride celebrations and parade in a town called Steinbach.  Steinbach is in the heart of a deeply Mennonite community where it is no secret how they feel about gay marriage.

Yes.  I know that the Bible says something about “man shall not lay with man”  or something along those lines.  But I’m pretty sure he also told us that there was a limit on how many slaves you could own and how you’re not allowed to touch a woman when she’s having her period.   By the way, it also has a list of 10 Ways Not To Be An Asshole.   Otherwise known as the 10 Commandments.  There’s a biggie in there about loving your neighbour as yourself.  Check it out sometime.

Here’s my biggest problem with all of this.  Canada is not actually a Christian country.  There are a great many of us who are indeed Christian.  Some of them support LGBTQ rights and some use their faith as an excuse to continue to spread hatred.  But as a Member of Parliament, you must leave your personal beliefs at the door, and support the laws of this country.  You are welcome to try and influence and change laws, but you must uphold the rights of all the citizens.

And unfortunately, Ted Falk, the law is not on your side here.  Bigotry is something that should not be tolerated in any capacity from a Member of Parliament, and I would suggest that your personal belief system is getting in your way of doing your job.

The other problem I have is that I think bigots like Ted Falk here make some sort of weird assumption that a Pride parade and celebration is some sort of recruitment drive.

Honey, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? The gays don’t want you.  There is a standard of fabulousness required that I just don’t think you could ever live up to.

Rather, the Pride celebrations are supposed to be a celebration of not having to hide yourself.  A celebration of being able to love freely who you love without having to fear arrest or abuse.  Clearly, we aren’t there yet, but we are a far cry from those days in New York City where the police raided the Stonewall Inn.  The Pride celebrations around the world are a reminder of this event, and how far we have come in accepting and loving everybody as they are, not how you interpret that they should be.

As a Christian, your job is to promote love and protect your brothers from harm. And yes, they are your brothers.  And sisters.  That’s your calling.

And as a Representative of your country, your job is to uphold and support the laws that are in place, and be present in a official capacity as needed in your community.  And newsflash:  Part of the population that your represent is LGBTQ.

Out of all the laws in the Bible, I don’t understand why we’re allowed to ignore all the other ones from the Old Testament and yet this one is like the Golden Fucking Rule.

I mean, we’re also not supposed to eat shellfish.  Do you take  stand on this, Ted, and refuse to enter any restaurant that has shrimp on the menu?  I mean, how are you supposed to support these blasphemous eaters of shellfish, when God has explicitly said not too?

How can you stand by and watch your children run and hug their mother or cousin who got her period this morning?  The filth!

And how can I, good Christian woman that I am, stand by idly while you clearly don’t love your neighbour as yourself?

I can’t.  Neither should anybody else.

Your values aren’t the only values that matter in this country.  And so, as a member of our Federal Government, you need to find a way to get past your bigoted, hypocritical “value” system and do your fucking job.

Stop making Jesus look bad by using Him as an excuse to act like a dick.  Just go to the fucking parade already.  Wear a rainbow, have a beer and no promises, but I’m pretty sure no one is going to gay rape you.

That was actually the Catholic Church…but that’s a whole other post.

 

So Me And God Are Fighting, And I’m Not Sure He Gives A Shit

I have spent the past few weeks watching friends and family suffer unimaginable losses and changes to their lives.  Loss of loved ones, loss of independence, loss of the life they knew.  Just, loss.

And although the grief of my friends and family is not my grief to own or process, I have to say that when you watch so many bad things happen to good people, it makes you question things that you’ve believed all your life.

I gotta say, Bitches, that my faith is taking a real beating lately.  I am super pissed at God right now and He knows it.  He just doesn’t seem to care. I mean, I’m sure people question Him and get angry at Him all the time, so why would I be a special case that he personally responds to?

And yes, I know that God isn’t really gonna come down and do the burning bush thing or flash flood all the assholes in the world.  He’s already been there, done that and we’re still a bunch of pricks down here for the most part.  I guess that’s where I feel ripped off.  Can’t He just make the bad shit happen to people who are the dicks?  Can’t He let the horribly painful and undignified things that happen to genuinely good people skip them and land on someone who deserves it? Can’t he let someone die without suffering first?

Where are you???  Why aren’t you helping us???  Remember that Footprints poem about you carrying us?  Some of us could use a lift right about now.

And then it dawned on me yesterday that maybe it doesn’t work that way.  Anger blurs our vision and skews our perception a little.

Yesterday I watched a community of friends come together once again to support one another and take on a piece of each others grief. I watched us love one another and provide comfort and laughter in a real moment of shitty darkness. I have seen them do this so many times over the years.  No judgements, no bullshit.  Just raw true friendship and community. And then I remembered what the priest said about being the arms and legs of Christ.   We are God. 

And I guess we have to just be each others people.  I still don’t understand why such pain has to be endured to begin with, but I am lucky to have the community I do.  I am lucky to have my people.

And despite feeling angry toward God for not stepping in at the moments I feel He should have, at the very least I know that when something bad inevitably happens to me, I will not be alone.  Because I have an army of friends so strong and so awesome that nobody will let me fall ever.  And that is comforting.  And maybe that’s the point.

God isn’t hiding in a bush or in the sky or behind the altar.  Those things are just symbols. He actually lives in my people.

Find your village, Bitches.  It takes the edge off.

 

 

Hot On The Titties Is Back!

www.meetup.com  Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

http://www.meetup.com
Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I bet you think you know what I’m going to write about today don’t you?  Since the restaurant in Washington has banned children under 9 in the evening, you figure I’m all hot on the tits about this again.  But I think I’ve exhausted my opinion on it.  If you want to read about it, click here.

NO, bitches, today I want to talk about something else that irritates me.

I. Fucking. Hate. The Word. Playdate.

It is seriously the most ridiculous term that has ever entered our common vocabulary.  It sends gross chills up my spine it’s so stupid. And the reason it annoys me so much?  It is indicative of just how retarded we have become when it comes to over-scheduling not just the activities of our children, but of our lives in general.

Since when do babies and small children need to have social coordinators? Let’s face it.  What’s actually happening is two parents needed some adult companionship so they throw their children together in hopes that they will entertain each other while we have a coffee.  It’s not a play date.  It’s two adults making plans.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just really old fashioned, but I also think it speaks volumes about the loss of community in this generation.  I remember walking across the street after dinner as a child as ringing the doorbell to see if my friend could come outside to play with me.  I don’t remember our parents having to get together and planning something two months from now and calling it a fucking date.  It just makes me sad that we don’t know and trust our neighbors enough these days to be able to do that.

Or maybe the problem is that there is never anybody home.  Everyone is in their car, driving their kids to their 10000 registered activities during the week.  So we can ring the doorbell all we want, but no one will answer.

In any case, you can call me to see if we’re busy today, but if you call it a playdate, I won’t make you any fucking coffee.  Because I like to go dutch on dates.  Unless you’re paying.

The other thing on my mind today is carseats.  It is recommended that children be strapped into a fucking booster until they are 100 pounds.  Destroyer will be lucky to be hundred pounds by the time she goes to Driver’s Ed.  Do they make boosters for the driver’s seat?  Furthermore, carseats are considered “expired” after 5 years.  We just bought a convertible seat that turns into a booster and is good up to the magic 100 pound mark.  She has finally hit 25 pounds at age 2.  What do you think the chance is that she’ll be 100 pounds within 4 years?

It’s nothing but a fucking money grab.  AS IF i am going to throw the thing out in 4 years.

I hate rules.

When they are stupid.  And I didn’t make them.

And playdates. Because they are make believe.

Discuss.

 

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