Hot On The Titties Is Back!  Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I bet you think you know what I’m going to write about today don’t you?  Since the restaurant in Washington has banned children under 9 in the evening, you figure I’m all hot on the tits about this again.  But I think I’ve exhausted my opinion on it.  If you want to read about it, click here.

NO, bitches, today I want to talk about something else that irritates me.

I. Fucking. Hate. The Word. Playdate.

It is seriously the most ridiculous term that has ever entered our common vocabulary.  It sends gross chills up my spine it’s so stupid. And the reason it annoys me so much?  It is indicative of just how retarded we have become when it comes to over-scheduling not just the activities of our children, but of our lives in general.

Since when do babies and small children need to have social coordinators? Let’s face it.  What’s actually happening is two parents needed some adult companionship so they throw their children together in hopes that they will entertain each other while we have a coffee.  It’s not a play date.  It’s two adults making plans.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just really old fashioned, but I also think it speaks volumes about the loss of community in this generation.  I remember walking across the street after dinner as a child as ringing the doorbell to see if my friend could come outside to play with me.  I don’t remember our parents having to get together and planning something two months from now and calling it a fucking date.  It just makes me sad that we don’t know and trust our neighbors enough these days to be able to do that.

Or maybe the problem is that there is never anybody home.  Everyone is in their car, driving their kids to their 10000 registered activities during the week.  So we can ring the doorbell all we want, but no one will answer.

In any case, you can call me to see if we’re busy today, but if you call it a playdate, I won’t make you any fucking coffee.  Because I like to go dutch on dates.  Unless you’re paying.

The other thing on my mind today is carseats.  It is recommended that children be strapped into a fucking booster until they are 100 pounds.  Destroyer will be lucky to be hundred pounds by the time she goes to Driver’s Ed.  Do they make boosters for the driver’s seat?  Furthermore, carseats are considered “expired” after 5 years.  We just bought a convertible seat that turns into a booster and is good up to the magic 100 pound mark.  She has finally hit 25 pounds at age 2.  What do you think the chance is that she’ll be 100 pounds within 4 years?

It’s nothing but a fucking money grab.  AS IF i am going to throw the thing out in 4 years.

I hate rules.

When they are stupid.  And I didn’t make them.

And playdates. Because they are make believe.