thoughts on life, parenting, news, and crazy shit

Tag: school

In Manitoba, we’re looking after ourselves now

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

God I am so tired.

Of literally everything.

I am tired of wearing every hat- employee, teacher, parent, wife, daughter, friend, advocate, mouthpiece, confidante. I am tired of waiting for it to end and it never fucking ends.

I am tired of not knowing, trying to figure shit out, decision making, mitigation, concession making, pivoting, and fighting.

Mostly the fighting. Everybody, including me has their opinion about how to go about fixing the mess we’re in or how to make it better, and we are ALL experts on pointing out the mistakes others have made and all the coulda woulda shouldas in the history of ever.

In the end I don’t think any of it really matters anymore. Maybe I am just feeling abandoned by a government and a community that seems to have just given up. Maybe I am just feeling disheartened that some people are so greedy and stupid and selfish that they seem willing to risk the well being of others in the name of the almighty dollar. Maybe I am just feeling defeated that after 2 years of this fuckery, even the people who tried so hard in the beginning are too exhausted to continue on.

I get it. This has gone on for a really long time, the current situation is pointing to disease that produces less severe outcomes proportionally and appears much milder in the acute phase.In this exact moment it feels like continuing to take pauses and make more sacrifices is overkill for some people. And as much as I hated watching that complete shitstorm of a cuntboxing match of a press conference this week, one gross truth emerged from it: we really do need to take care of ourselves at this point, because the solidarity that used to exist as we all swam upstream in a body of liquid shit over the past couple of years is clearly starting to crack.

It feels like the province has lost control of the situation because they invested in the wrong strategies and resources and didn’t listen to the people on the front lines. (hint- ALWAYS listen to the people on the front lines when you want to fix something) The current strategy appears to be reminding us that our province was the first to implement restrictions 12 months ago and gaslighting the public about capacity while manipulating data and basically just being a bunch of ignorant assholes. Good reason fell on deaf ears as economic priorities took precedence, but it is a fool’s errand. We are already dealing with a loss of access to essential services due to a lack of human resources that I believe will get worse before it gets better.

So at this point, Heather’s statement is accurate. “It’s up to Manitobans to look after themselves” because the system is in failure.

So as I digest this thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have zero fucks to give about what anyone else does at this point. I don’t care if the province says they expect my kids to go to school. They aren’t going right now. I don’t care if they say I can’t have access to the same short term supports others will get, because I am still not sending them. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t get vaccinated. Fine. Exercise your right to suffer. If you want to take your mask off and walk around some shitty restaurant with a bunch of other dickholes flaunting your rights and exposing your tiny brains and, go right ahead. I don’t care about that either.

I am tired. I am putting on my own oxygen mask so that I can help my own people. I don’t care if you disagree with my personal decisions, or think everything is ok and I am crazy, or wanna explain this data or that data. Not one person needs to justify themselves to me or anyone else. Do what you want to do. Accept whatever risks you choose. Weigh your options. Own your shit and deal with the consequences or rewards.

Cause in Manitoba, we look after ourselves.

Make no mistake, this extra week of remote learning is a giant fuck you to educators

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com

I’m sure many of you were glued to your devices waiting with baited breath for the education press conference this afternoon in Manitoba. I am also sure that many of you, like myself, were expecting the government to announce further restrictions and a temporary move to remote learning as we ride this newest wave of Covid fuckery.

Dear Heather and Cliff had other plans. She sat there with her cunty smirks and him in his bewildered gaze trying to pronounce hard words in his briefing and announced that they would be moving to one week remote learning not because of the enormous spikes in Covid transmissions, rising hospitalizations, and unknown outcomes yet to happen- but to give the educators more time to prepare the schools to make them safe for the return of in person learning.

I’m sorry. I know I am just a lowly peasant and not one of the anointed stakeholders that are spoken of so frequently in these pressers, but what the actual fuck.

Prepare for WHAT, exactly? WITH what, exactly? Another shipment of improperly donned medical grade masks by hundreds of tiny humans, some more barrels of hand sanitizer and an inspection of windows that don’t open and ventilation systems that do nothing but recirculate the same air around the same building until the end of time? Will they hire more lunch monitors to make sure the kids sit in their spots while they eat maskless twice per day and toss their tiny little aerosols of Covid cooties into the air for someone else to enjoy later? Is there a secret shipment of hazmat suits coming in sizes XXS to XXXL that haven’t been announced yet?

And the 550,000 RAT’s that have supposedly finally been allocated to schools instead of to pompous morons who refused to get vaccinated? How long is that going to last 300,000 students? And what are the protocols for their use? How exactly do we expect this to help?

Whoever decided that going to remote learning was going to give teachers and administrators “more time” is either a liar or an imbecile. How in Satan’s sweet hell are school staff supposed to reconfigure classrooms, prepare material for home learning, inventory supplies and PPE, rearrange cohorts etc etc etc with students in the fucking school and the rest of them in online class? When is this magical preparation (of what I am still uncertain) going to happen?

No. This is the government telling teachers to go fuck themselves. Since being elected 5 years ago there has been a war raging between government and teachers and I feel like today’s announcement was like Heather saying “Oh you need time, we’ll give you time” and she loved every fucking minute of it.

Furthermore, we basically have no new information. Are we reopening in Code Orange? Where is all the extra staff going to magically appear from? What is going to be done with staff shortages? How important will education be then, Cliff? Or will it just give people one more opportunity to call teachers lazy and overpaid babysitters? Once again, there are more questions than answers and no details about what exactly is going to be accomplished.

Teachers and schools have been repeatedly neglected and set up to fail since all of this began and here we are again. Politicians self congratulating themselves and jerking each other off on camera while they talk about all this money they have given to schools. What was it for? Is it the 80 million from the federal government from last year that wasn’t “invested” in education as promised that you are now taking credit for? Where is the accounting? Why are you so completely full of shit? People just want straight answers and some accountability. We are frustrated. We don’t trust you.

This “extension” is stupid. Pull the plug and do something actually proactive or don’t and live with the consequences of your decisions. But putting schools in another impossible situation so that everyone can be mad at them is a cowardly deflection of our government’s consistent ineptitude and miserable attitude towards educators.

No, I don’t think I will be sending my kids back to school in January.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let’s be honest. I personally don’t know of any parent (especially working parents) who enjoyed or felt successful at remote learning. I’m not talking about parents who chose to homeschool their children as a means of regular education and have the time, energy and will to take on this enormous task. I’m talking about being thrown into a poorly supported (by the government) situation where the amount of hours in a day don’t ever feel enough nor do the limitations of our patience.

But let’s also be honest about something else.

I personally can’t envision a situation where sending our children and educators back into the classroom for 7 hours a day, without the resources- both material and human- to make it a safe environment for the students or the staff.

Our provincial government is once again busily dropping the ball and keeping parents and school staff in the dark about what the actual situation is and how they plan to address the challenges before them. In fact, it feels like they have been very blatantly gaslighting us all into believing that everything is just fine, and that they have it all under control. Just be honest for once. Please. It is so painfully obvious that we are making public health decisions based on political outcomes and I am absolutely so fucking sick of it.

I don’t know about you, but being repeatedly and consistently bullshitted by what is probably the worst political leadership in the history of ever in Manitoba feels like a slap in the balls already.

Around the country and around the world, we are seeing staffing crises in multiple sectors. New York City has an emergency workers shortage of 30%. WestJet just announced a reduction in services as they struggle to staff flights. London has reduced tube services as they also face a large number of train conductors and staff off sick.

As usual, the tits in charge of Manitoba have set up a scenario where they will try and tell us that they aren’t seeing transmission in schools, they are safe, blah blah blah. They have instructed those under 40 to not get tested, opening up a door where they don’t have transmission and case data for school aged kids, so how will we know? We still don’t know how and when rapid antigen tests will be used, the schools are scrambling to implement the distribution of them, N95 masks are difficult to find and certainly not handed out in an equitable manner, and the schools have a whole extra TWO FUCKING DAYS to figure it all out.

So what is the government assessing in those two days? Are they figuring out how to help the schools split all the classrooms in two? How to use the limited staff and resources they have to try and distance and manage classrooms using EA’s to supervise as teachers run back and forth from room to room? What about how they will manage the inevitable staffing shortages that will occur as the adults get sick? Are they getting ready to keep the essential workers’ kids in person and organize remote learning packages for others? Or are they going to just pretend that they don’t have to worry about children getting sick anymore despite the alarming increase in severe illness in children in other jurisdictions – or continue to not report the outbreaks currently underway in our Children’s hospital here?

We are 10 days from the start of the winter term. Educators need better communication. Parents need better communication. This province deserves better communication than a Premier who shows up once her tan has faded enough to not be so obvious, a health minister who only shows up to deflect every single question ever asked of her once her nails are fucking dry, and an education minister who seems to feel like his role is purely ceremonial.

Personally, I don’t have any trust left in the system. Our educators are worn out. They are getting sick. Two staff members DIED at the same school this week. Parents are worried. I AM WORRIED.

I don’t actually give a shit if Omicron is mostly less severe. Less severe than what? Than dying? Than needing hospitalization in the acute phase? A lesson in proportionality: a smaller percentage of an exponentially bigger number is still a whole fucking lot. More than Manitoba can handle, and more than is fucking reasonable to risk.

So no. I don’t think I will be sending my kids to school in January. I fucking hate that this is where I am at again, but it is what it is. I actually feel safer sending my kids to extra curricular activities that provide shorter exposure, better ventilation, smaller numbers and business owners who hare able to control some variables in the name of keeping everyone safe and keeping their doors open.

And once again, those of us privileged enough to be able to say “NOPE” will have a better chance of escaping this wave that those that rely on schools to not only educate their kids, but care for them. There is no equity given to those already underserved in terms of resources, care, funding or options. I can’t find all the answers for everyone, and I wish to God I could. All I can do is be part of the solution by trying to keep our little family safe.

And PS, I will participate in “remote learning” as it it provided or not provided on my own terms. I am not killing myself or my relationship with my kids to meet some made up standard of what they need to know about the history of Egypt when they are 9 years old. I don’t give a fuck right now. My priorities will be happiness, survival, coping, health, inquiry based learning and fun. I will try to facilitate work sent home as we can tolerate and that is IT. If that makes me a bad parent then there is a place reserved in my mind for you to go fuck yourself.

I hope this is the last time I have to vent this type of frustration, but I suspect our leaders will continue to suck ass. So until we get new leaders, I’m gonna take matter in my own hands and do the best I can.

Solidarity to all the educators, staff, parents and kiddos out there. I hope you all stay well and we see the actual beginning of the end after this.

Parents: Get Off Your Phone


Have you guys seen this yet?    The daycare that posted a sign telling parents to get off their phone when picking up their children?

Which side of the argument do you fall?   Can you justify the parents behaviour?   Has the daycare overstepped?

I’ll tell you what I think.

Parents, in this particular situation, I think you need to get off your goddamn phone.

Here’s why.   Your child has been waiting for this moment ALL.DAY.LONG.  As much as they love their friends and their school/daycare, they love you the most.   They want so badly to make you proud of them.  They need you to be excited to see them and make them feel like this is the moment YOU have been looking for ALL.DAY.LONG.

When I first pick up my child from daycare/school or a babysitter, those first few minutes are paramount to understanding the behaviour they display throughout the rest of the day.   It is important for you to listen to what they tell you so that you can support them if they need support, congratulate them on something they did that was new, or hug them if they feel sad.  You can’t assess the situation if you aren’t present in the moment.

And what I’ve learned personally, is that if I don’t give my child my full attention when I first see them, they will feel let down.   I will effectively rain on their parade, and set myself up for failure with them afterwards.

Now, hey, I GET IT.

I fuck around on my phone ALL THE TIME at the playground, or while they are entertaining themselves or even when I declare a 30 minute quiet time in the house.

And that’s totally ok.   You don’t need to be up your kid’s ass, entertaining them every step of the way through life.  They need to learn to work out some social  skills on their own too without you interfering.

But not that moment. Not that moment when they first see you after a whole day of being apart.   You need to make them feel like a priority in your life.

Tell your boss you’ll call them back.   Set a boundary that your child comes first.   That from 4:30-5:00 pm every day you are unavailable.

If the call is SO important, take it before going inside with a quick “I’ll call you in 30 minutes” ( unless it is an emergency).  And emergencies aren’t a change in soccer practice venue, by the way.

Let the school leave a message.  Let them call your partner instead.

Ask yourself if you were in a meeting at work, would you answer the phone?

Soccer, your parents, the vet, whomever can just wait a goddamn minute and learn some patience themselves.  We keep saying that we need to teach our children that the world doesn’t revolve them, so we can teach the adults in our lives the same fucking thing.   The world doesn’t have to revolve around your kids, but show them enough love and respect in this situation so that they KNOW they are important to you.



Although I support the motivation behind the sign, I can’t tell you how grossly inappropriate the sign on the window is.

It is condescending, lacking respect, and downright fucking rude.   And if any child care worker or teacher dare speak to me about my parenting  in such a manner they would have no further contact with my child in a big hurry.  Because if they are going to speak to ME that way, the hand that is literally feeding them, how are they speaking to my child when I am not around?

Try something like this next time:

Dear Parents,

Please refrain from using your phone while picking up your child (unless in absolute emergency).  They are so excited to see you when you get here, and we feel like you can best support them by giving them your full attention.

The staff would also like the opportunity to speak with you as the need arises regarding any successes or difficulties that may have occurred during the day, illness or other special circumstances.

Thank you for respecting our space, and making yourselves fully available to us.

Have a great day!




Ok Bitches, what do you think?

If Your Kid Is Fasting, Should That Mean No Pizza For My Kid Either?


My girlfriend posted on Facebook the other day about her child’s class missing out on all the celebrating during the school year due to the religious beliefs of 2 students in the class.

Every other classroom in the school has had special parties or celebrations throughout the year for all the bullshit holidays like Halloween and Valentine’s Day.  Her daughters class has missed out, because the teacher felt like it was inappropriate to have two children unable to participate.

Fast forward to end of year celebrations.  There is no pagan rituals or Christian things that are being celebrated.  The tradition at this school is for the classes to have each have an end of year pizza party for the kids.  Her daughter’s class is again being left out, because the two aforementioned kids are fasting due to Ramadan and would be unable to have pizza with the other kids.

I’m sorry, but I don’t buy this “building a community” line bullshit that the teacher is towing.  This is dividing a community.  The kids in this classroom are just gonna resent the 2 that have basically rained on their parade all year long.  Instead of having two kids left out, they now have 20, because the entire school is participating in all of these events while this class has to go without because of the religion of two kids.  It just doesn’t make sense to me.

I understand that the teacher is trying to be sensitive to all beliefs, but in the process they are dismissing the needs of the majority of the kids in the room.

One of the comments on the thread was what do the two fasting kids do during lunch?  Do all of the kids now have to skip lunch so that that those two don’t get jealous?

I’m so fucking irritated about this and it’s not even my kid involved.

This is North America.  We are supposed to respect everyone’s belief and cultures.  The way to promote community is to expose the kids to everybody’s culture and beliefs and help them to understand one anothers beliefs.  Spend some time at the end of the year on what Ramadan is.  Help the kids understand why the some kids are fasting and what it means to them.  And then have the fucking pizza party for everybody, and if you’re fasting come and play but don’t eat pizza.  Or if that is just too hard on Little Johnny Faster, then the parents can have the option of keeping them home that day.

I just feel that if we aren’t allowed to recognize any religious holiday and have it influence the activities in the school, why are they allowing the religious beliefs of two kids dictate the activities in the classroom?

I mean, what if one of the Christian kids decided to give up electronics for Lent?  Would the teacher then stop using the white board or ban computer lab for the entire class because of the one child’s beliefs?  Likely not.  If it wasn’t Ramadan and they were having pizza, would all the pizzas have no bacon or pepperoni because many Muslims don’t eat pork?  Likely not….they would just request a cheese pizza.

And yes.  I understand that these parties are not part of the curriculum.  But they are a fun thing at school that kids look forward too, and sometimes its important to just let kids have fun in a learning environment too.

In my opinion, a better solution would be for a teacher or the school  to send out a list of all “special events” that occur during the year, and then allow parents to make the decision about whether or not their child can participate.  Simple as that.

If we’re being respectful of the beliefs and traditions of everybody, it should include the majority as well, right?

What do you think, Bitches?



Sending My Kid To French Immersion School Makes Me Selfish? What?



With my Twee Destroyer of Hearts starting kindergarten in the fall, this article from the Globe and Mail caught my eye.  It’s called:

There’s just one problem with French immersion … well, several, actually

Despite the fact that this article is a bunch of crybaby judgemental bullshit, I guess you should read it.

As a parent, I have made the decision that my kids are going to French Immersion.  I didn’t bat an eye about it. I went to french immersion schools as a child, and think its was one of the best decisions my parents made.  I figure if the opportunity is available in my community, why would I pass this chance up for my kids?

But OF COURSE, some fucking bitch has to go and get up everyone’s ass about it. About whether or not parents should give their kid the opportunity to learn a second language. Let’s address a few of the things stated in her article:

  1. “For many parents, French immersion is a way to game the system. It filters out the kids with behavioural problems and special needs, along with the low achievers”

First of all, this isn’t the case.  Bestie herself works in a French immersion school with children who have special needs and behavioural problems.  Children are tiny little sponges, so despite their behavioural issues, they will pick up the language anyway… which is why we are seeing more and more kids with special considerations in the immersion program.

2. “it’s a form of streaming……this selfish but entirely natural parental tendency…”

Seriously?  Is she still talking about how it’s not fair that there are less kids with extra needs in the classrooms?  And I am selfish to put my kids in these schools because of it?  How about you do me a favour honey, and reach around to take that stick out of your ass?

How does my decision to give my child the chance to learn how to speak and write in two languages possibly make me selfish?  I’m sorry that more parents of special needs kids don’t choose to give their kids this opportunity, but maybe they feel like they have enough challenges ahead of them.  Or maybe the parent feels like they have enough on their plate without adding the extra obstacle of a second language.  Or MAYBE, a child who is non verbal and struggling to communicate in any way possible doesn’t need the confusion of another language.

And MAYBE, none of this shit matters. Because what matters is that we offer all children the best opportunities we can, and we as parents make the best decisions we can for OUR OWN children.  And I’m sorry, I do not think it’s selfish for me to let my children do something just because others kids can’t.  Should we cease to offer enrichment programs for kids who are over achievers because how dare we nurture talent?  Or if one child breaks their leg and isn’t able to participate in gym class, does that mean that the whole class should sit out so nobody feels left out?  Is it selfish of me to expect that my kid still gets some physical educations despite little Johnny’s broken leg?

   3.”Most French-immersion students are from affluent, high-achieving families”

Well I am certainly not affluent.  And my neighbourhood isn’t affluent.  We are a working class community with many immigrant families, brand new to this country. Most of the homes are modest, and nobody is driving Porsches here.  So fuck off with your generalizations.

4.“Sadly, there’s not the slightest shred of evidence that French immersion has accomplished any of its lofty goals.”

She is referring to Pierre Trudeau’s vision of a truly bilingual country.  I kinda don’t care.  What I do care about is my child’s opportunity to learn a second language.  If that contributes to a country that respectfully recognizes two official languages, then great.  If it doesn’t, what is it hurting?

I guess what got me all hot about this article was that it was one more way that someone somewhere is trying to influence parent’s decisions regarding their children.  So, thank you, Globe and Mail, for allowing a mom shaming article to grace your pages.  Thank you once again for causing parents to second guess themselves.  Thank you for insulting every parent who ever tried to give their kid a chance to do something cool that may or may not help them later in life.  Thanks for letting some bitch call me selfish for doing what I feel is the right thing for my kid. Thanks for making moms of special needs kids feel further ostracized by making them feel like burdens on the system, and complaining how this burden needs to be divided more evenly.  Thanks for implying that anyone who goes to a French Immersion school is a rich snobby asshole who doesn’t give a lick about anyone but their own family.

Maybe you got one part right.  The part where I don’t care what decision other people make with their kids because I DON”T GET A SAY IN THAT.  I get a say in what happens with my own kids, and that’s it.

So, I don’t actually give a fuck if you send your kid to English school, or French Immersion, or fucking Elvish.

Just send them to school.  OK?


Surviving The First 5 Years And Making A Bucket List



So not that I plan on dying anytime soon, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the days seem to drag on, but the months fly by.  And then I think that my Twee Destroyer isn’t so Twee anymore.  Almost five years have passed since I grew that beautiful little devil and brought her wrath upon the Earth. Her wrath of charm and beauty and door slamming tantrums and the ability to maintain adorableness through ever second of it.

And I also thought how us grownups are slowly but surely starting to gain a little more freedom as the kids get older, at least in the sense that I can hire babysitters more often and feel ok about it.  They looooove babysitters.

And so do I.

Sometimes I feel bad about going out without them after we already spend so much time working, but you know what?

I’m starting to get over that.  What I’ve realized is that the first 5 years of a child’s life are the most trying thing you will ever go through.  It is physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting.  Everything about me is tired. I have one hair on my head that is so fucking tired that it can’t even stay brown.  One hair that just says “fuck it” every couple of days and turns silver.

It is also infinitely rewarding to see little bits of your influence and guidance sneak out of your babies when you least expect it.  The word “fuck” notwithstanding.  Somehow, by the grace of all things holy, my kids don’t swear.  Yet.  But when they do go to school, at least they’ll be able to use those words in proper context.

Anyway, I kinda feel like the first 5 years are like baby bootcamp.  Or like Basic Training in the army.  You spend 5 years deep in the trenches of shit with the purpose of wearing you down and making you capable of handling anything that comes your way in the later years.  You keep thinking “If I was able to do that on 4 hours of sleep per week, I can handle anything.”  And maybe I will and maybe I won’t, but at least I’ll be sleeping better.  There’s that.

So maybe I’m just foolish, but I’ve been making a bit of a bucket list of things I want to accomplish for myself, once my offspring are safely in the care of a teacher, 5 days a week, 6 hours a day.  6 hours!  Every single day!  That’s almost how long it took me just to get Destroyer dressed yesterday!  What will I do with 6 hours every single day?

I have a few years to plan still, but here is my list:

  1. Run a 10k. For reals, just to say I fucking did it.  I feel like this is a goal I can accomplish in the next year.  I’ve always wanted to do this.  Also, good preparation for zombie apocalypse.  Cardio.
  2. Get back in the saddle.  Literally.  I used to ride horses 2 times a week in my late teens/early twenties.  I miss it so much.
  3. Finally learn to play piano for real.  With actual practice.  Without interruptions.
  4. Watch Dr.Phil everyday.  Because trash tv is my vice of choice.  After tequila.  And wine.  Ok, it’s #3, but still important.
  5. Go on a hunting or fishing  trip.  Kill the things, eat the meat.  Beat my chest and drink beer with the boys.
  6. Go to New York City.  Without my children.  Grandma??
  7. Take a course.  Something totally different from what I do now.   Maybe switch careers, maybe just learn to do something new.  My brain needs stimulation!
  8. Drive the West Coast from Vancouver to San Francisco.  Because, wine country!
  9. Have a date night with my hubby every single week.  Every week, because think of it like back pay for the first five years.  Right?
  10. Nothing.  Do absolutely nothing but sit in bed and watch movies.  Eat junk food.  Order a pizza.  Sweat pants.  The best ever.

So, Bitches?  Do you ever fantasize about what you’ll you once your kids go to school?  Is this all just wishful thinking?

How did life change for you after the first 5 years?

Tell me your things, send me your lists!

I Went To School To Learn Math, Instead All I Learned Was That My Teacher Thought I Was Fat.



While scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday, one of my friends had posted this link. 

It’s an article where a girl is asked to calculate her BMI ( body mass index) for an assignment for school.  Instead, this articulate and beautiful child wrote a two page response basically telling them to go fuck themselves and mind their own business.  It’s much more eloquent than that…..she explains why BMI is not a good measure of one’s health and politely tells them that she is beautiful as is and the rest is none of their business.


Further to the article, my friend who lives in the same city as me, and is in the same school division made this comment:

My son had an assignment that was similar with BMI, how they keep healthy mentally, emotionally and physically and they had to rate themselves!! Really?!? All I could think of was these kids’ self esteem.)

Let me tell you a story about measuring my fatness.  From the time I was in elementary school and all the way until grade 10 when Phys.Ed. stopped being mandatory, this was part of the curriculum in gym class.  Once a year, amongst all the fitness tests like running around some pylons and hanging off a wall, the gym teacher would get out his calipers and measure the amount of fat on our bodies.  In front of the rest of the class.  They also had a picture of people’s legs and would measure the gap or lack there of between ones thighs.  In front of the class.

And I don’t give one flying fuck whether you are skinny, fat or somewhere in between.  Every single child and especially the girls felt so much anxiety about this moment that they should have provided shots of tequila first.  It was horrible and shameful and scarring.  And fuck you gym teachers for telling children that they are worth less because you could grab too much flesh off my hips with your stupid fucking calipers.  And no, you didn’t have to actually say those words to get that message across.  That’s what your actions did to us. That moment damaged us.  It damaged me.

I just simply do not understand today’s educational system.

A teacher cannot hand out a zero for work not done.  We can’t hold students back when they are not ready to move on to the next grade either academically or socially.  We can’t make them memorize multiplication tables because its too stressful.  They aren’t allowed to do homework at home.

But what we can measure is their Body Mass Index.  Because if we are going to make a child feel like shit about something, better make sure it is something that is completely irrelevant to their ability to succeed in life.  Let’s make sure we cut their confidence down for they way their body is shaped rather than hold them or their parents accountable for doing their schoolwork.  Don’t hurt their feelings or stress them out relating to anything that may prepare them for the work force one day or for University.  Instead of measuring their knowledge at school, let’s make them measure their body fat.

Seriously. Fuck.

But you know what else I remember?

I remember the gym teacher calling my dad into parent teacher interview and telling him he was “concerned” for my cardiovascular health because my time in the run was slow and I was clearly too fat.  And I remember my Dad laughing in that smug piece of shit’s face and saying “Dude, she just got of crutches with a torn knee ligament.  She walked the course.  Also, she can swim 50 meters in 32 seconds at 10 years old.  She is training in the pool 6 days a week so if you’d like to race her, I’ll set it up and put my money on my kid.  And although you may be concerned about her cardiovascular health, I am actually more concerned about your competency to evaluate it.”   

And that, Bitches, is one of those moments I will also not forget, because there was no way my dad was gonna let this asshole fuck with his kid.

So take a page out of my Dad’s book.  If your child comes home with an assignment such as this or tells you of an experience such as this, talk to the teacher immediately.  Do not allow them to shame your child.  Don’t let your child think that their self worth is determined by the opinions of others.   Stick up for your kid.  Trust me, it will be worth it.

And teachers everywhere….if you ever come near either one of my kids with a set of calipers, you will find it hanging off your genitals.



HOTTF: No Best Friends Allowed



Okay.  So I just watched some stupid “news” blurb video on msn.com about weird things that schools have banned.  Most of it was pretty silly.  Banning bracelets because they distract kids during class, Uggs because kids hide their cellphones in their boots.

Kids have cellphones now?  Can I get a what the fuck?

Anyway, the above problem is easily rectified by reintroducing school uniforms.  Kids can still express their individuality at home or with a hair cut.  But if schools want to solve their problems with shit like Uggs and bracelets, they should develop and enforce a strict dress code or uniform.  The End.

Then there was mention of a school that banned dogdeball because it allowed kids to be targeted and bullied.  Of course contact sports like football and hockey are fine, because its okay to beat the shit out of each other if you’re wearing equipment.  And if its just part of the game.  But not with dodgeball.  That steps over the line.


But here’s the real kicker. A school in the UK has banned best friends.  Yes.  Don’t rub your eyes, bitches.  You did in fact read that right.

I’m sorry, but didn’t we just ban dodgeball as an act in the war on bullying?  So I have an idea, let’s ban close friendships and not allow children to form peer groups.   Doesn’t having a good group of friends who are willing to stick up for you part of the preventative medicine for bullying?  I think a child is much less likely to be bullied when they have a tight group of friends about them.  Or did I miss something?

The school is apparently concerned that having “BFFs” encourages clicks.  So what?  Different people have different interests.


But what I do get is this:  Kids have always been mean.  They pick on kids who are easy targets.  And if you have your friends around you, you’re not an easy target.  I never ever once got bullied when I was with my friends, but when I was alone or the outsider in an environment, the vultures descended.

Of course then I also grew up and bought some big girl panties and nobody ever tried to bully me again.  But that’s a whole other post.

The other reason the school doesn’t allow BFFs is because the fights that may occur between the children is too traumatizing and emotionally difficult.  Seriously?  THIS is how we are teaching our children to resolve conflict?  Avoid it?  Don’t build meaningful relationships because you might have an argument?

And we wonder why the divorce rate in the Western world is so high.  We don’t know how to resolve anything anymore.

The world is seriously going to shit.  No wonder I drink.  People are fucking retarded.  And by people, I mean the ones in charge of shit.

Happy Hot on The Titties.


Hot On The Titties Friday: Blackmail or Volunteer?

Ok Kids, Happy Hot on The Titties Friday!  Today’s topic is:

Volunteer Work.


You read that right.  As parents, I’m sure you have already been introduced to being “asked” to do volunteer work by helping at your kid’s hockey game or music program.  Most of that seems reasonable to me.  It’s difficult to run extracurricular programs without volunteers from time to time.  And in the case of outside school activities, you are there much of the time to watch, encourage and cheer on your kid anyway, so why not help out as needed?

What I have a problem with is a requirement to volunteer in your child’s school.

A friend of mine was telling me last week about how her child’s school requires her to do something like 24 hours of volunteer work in the school, during school hours for her children. And if she isn’t able to complete her volunteer work, she will be charged an additional 200$ per child for her failure.

Pardon fucking me?

This is a local private school, where she already pays tuition. And I suspect (though I may be wrong) that the school receives some extra government funding or subsidies as well.

I can understand asking for help for school concerts or trips or maybe after school sports programs.  But in the classroom?

I’m sorry, but aren’t there educated, certified people there being paid to do their fucking job?  And if they can’t handle their job, maybe we should find someone else who can.

24 hours of volunteer work equals 4 full days a parent would have to take off work.  That’s more personal days than most people get at work in a year.   That’s almost as many sick days some folks get.  That’s almost an entire week of vacation you’d have to burn.  Because the people you are trusting to educate your child are either lazy or incompetent.

I asked my Favourite Mother-In-Law ( she’s my only MIL, but she’s my favourite nonetheless) if she’d ever seen this in the public school system.  She is a retired grade one teacher.

She just kinda looked at me in disbelief and said never.  Not in the classroom, not once.

So here is the dilemma.

First of all, the definition of volunteer is: A person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task.  (from Google)

The definition of slave labour is: Labor that is coerced and inadequately rewarded, (also from Google)

You decide.  Should a school be allowed to demand this?

And here is the grey area.  What about after school activities that we enroll our child in?  Most of them require a commitment to a certain amount of volunteer work, or they will cash a cheque written at the beginning of the year.  It’s a tough one, because when you consider how many things we try to expose our children to, that’s a lot of hours “volunteering” ourselves.  Or a lot of extra money.

I guess the other thing I’d like to know is where does the money go to?   Does it help to cover the cost of hiring someone to do that job instead?  If so, fair enough.  If it goes to something else, I’m not sure that’s a legitimate tactic.  It sounds kind of like blackmail to me.

Personally, I would happily pay more up front if it means all of the right people are in place doing the right jobs.  “Expensive!” you cry.  Yeah it is.  Kids are.

But maybe it means that you pay a little more to increase the quality of the programming, but the child does one less activity.

Maybe all of this is just the world’s way of telling us that we are too busy.  Because in order to do anything right, you have to be able to devote time to it.

Except in the school system.  Those fuckers are on their own. 😉

Anyway, enjoy your Friday discussion, kids.  I’m curious to hear your opinions on this, because I’m not entirely sure how I feel one way or the other.

Convince me.

The Millennial Pastor

An iPhone Pastor for a Typewriter Church

For The Love Of Ligh

APK Photography Blog


Written by Natalie Oldham

Midnight Calico Farm

One Family's Journey into Farm Life

unreally written

A mushy mom, a little madness, and a lot of musing.


Child Rearing with a Professional Twist

Feminist Philosophers

News feminist philosophers can use

Out an' About

Loving life and Embracing a New Earth

Cooking Without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

MOMtessori Life

Living the Montessori life as a mom with two young children

Pirate Patty Reviews

Books, Books, and More Books!!

Archon's Den

The Rants & Rambles of A Grumpy Old Dude

Mind Of An In-Depth Woman

My thoughts about love, music, spirituality, relationships, life and random topics in between

The Bede Update

He may be small but he is mighty

Ends and Beginnings

"The World is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."-Ivy Baker Priest

Musings of An Insomniac

Late night thoughts of a perpetual dreamer..

Surviving Grief

How to embrace grief and heal


This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas


A blog about family, food, and other good stuff.

Mums diary blog


Breaking Sarah - Bruised, Not Broken

One woman's raw journey through incest, teen pregnancy, trauma, death, and family estrangement.


Letting it all hang out


A stay at home mothers guide to self discovery

Peace Hacks

life, faith, adultimatums.

Luminous Blue

a mother's and daughter's journey with transformation, cancer, death and love

The Secret Life of Emily Maine

a place to shout my secrets

Dramatic Momologue

The juggle is real.

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

David McVety

A Spiritual Shepherd's Thoughts on Faith and Family

Beating Myself Into a Dress

First a wedding dress, then a maternity dress, now I'm just trying to fit into ANY dress.

The Fat Chick Memoirs

Dealing with my Weight-Loss One Funny Story at a Time

The Science of Mom

The Heart and Science of Parenting

The Fat Bottom Bard

Waxing Poetic and Penning Tall Tales

Jeneral Musings

A personal potpourri of thoughts

Supporting Birth Diversity

Celebrating the Tapestry of Motherhood


frightfully wondrous things happen here.

An Early Start

Meet Jax a funny, kind, and smart preschooler who was a micro-preemie born at 23 weeks. Now that Jax is older, the scariness of the NICU has faded, but we're still learning how to manage the lasting effects of prematurity including chronic medical issues, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. This is our story of love, hope, and survival.

Writings From Dr. Oolie's Pond

Poetry, Prose, and Random Thoughts

You're Wrong and That's Okay

Helping those who should really learn to help themselves...

%d bloggers like this: