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I Don’t Give Shit If Meryl *Knew*

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Wikimedia Commons

So, yeah.    Why are we all up Meryl Streep’s ass for her claiming she didn’t know that Harvey Weinstein was an abusive piece of shit who bullied women into sexual activity with the threat of demolishing their career hanging over their heads?

I mean, yes.    He’s a dick, but is that Meryl Streep’s fault?    Last time I checked, HW was a super rich movie producer and distributor that must have worked with someone other than Meryl. 

But now everyone is pissed of at Meryl because they think she knew about what was going on in Hollywood and didn’t swoop in and say something cleverly Meryl and fix it?

Give.Me.A.Break.

Word on the street is that everyone knew.   Word on the street is that a shit ton of women have been assaulted by HW and only came forward now.  Word is that people kept quiet out of fear and intimidation and a strange culture of accepting things for what they were instead of fighting for what should be.   Word is that is was acceptable for a woman to subject herself to terrible things because it was *necessary* to get anywhere in the misogyny that is Hollywood.

So there are two scenarios, in my mind.   One is that, of course Meryl actually didn’t know what was going on.

Now before you all start screaming *LIES*, think about it for a second.   Meryl Streep is literally Hollywood royalty.  She is probably the most talented actress of a generation, hugely respected, well spoken, out spoken and not in the habit of needing a boost from anyone.   Meryl Streep sells movies. HW did not sexually assault her, because he didn’t dare.   He needed her on his side, because she somehow had become powerful in a sea of dickhead white men ruling the roost with sexist rules and abusive priorities.  She did not experience what any of the women assaulted by him experienced, and it may have given her the privilege of being blind to what was going on.

The other possibilty, is that she DID know, but like everyone else has kept her mouth shut.  In this case, why is it Meryl Streep’s job to jump in and save the world?   Why are we putting this on her shoulders?  Scapegoat much?

And if she DID know, and is lying about it now I’m not sure I blame her.   Regardless of who she appears to be, she is still human, driven by human fears and desires.

Expose it all at what cost?  At the cost of losing everything she has earned in her career?   At the cost of being sued or thrown out of the very industry she has literally ruled for the past 30 years?   At the cost of having one less strong woman in a place where women of influence are lacking?   At the cost of much personal attack and detriment?

Would you have jumped in and started to yell “HW tries trades blow jobs for movie roles!” if you were in her shoes?

We are putting one hell of a responsibility on her.

So yeah.   I don’t actually give a shit whether or not Meryl Streep knew about what was going on ( likely) or didn’t know, or thought something was maybe going on, or is lying about knowing or WHATEVER.   We are not supposed to be in the habit of shifting the heat from the people who should be feeling hot as fucking hell right now.  Why are we focusing on Meryl when we should be focusing our energy on changing a culture where men feel like it is appropriate to sexually intimidate women and women feel like they have to tolerate it?

WE ARE WASTING OUR TIME ON THIS BULLSHIT.  We are wasting our resources turning Meryl into a villain when we already know who the bad guys are.

And by the way, Meryl is not the first actor to claim they didn’t know and express how sorry  they were.  A whole bunch of men did that too….

Maybe we just expected better from her.   But holy shit you guys.    Let’s get the bad guys instead inventing new ones.

 

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This Dieting Thing Can Fuck Right Off

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Almost one year ago, I got on the treadmill for the first time.   I decided that I was going to learn to run, with the ultimate goal being a 10km for my 40th birthday.

I didn’t make the 10 km mark.   Lack of training time and consistency driven by too demanding work schedules, children, nagging strain injuries and just plain life got in the way.

BUT, I was running 5km pretty regularly, and at the end of the day I have become a *runner*.  I had accomplished something I was told and believed I would never be able to achieve, and still have my eyes set on that 10km mark.     So yeah, giant “fuck yous” all around to my inner voice and people in a previous life that were quick to judge the short round girl and what she was capable of.

Anyway, I am 100% ok with being fitfat.   You know, someone whose body type is just never going to be sleek and slim and perfect.   I was happy with being curvy and healthy and not having any limitations in my fitness level.   I was super proud to get on the treadmill and gain power by exceeding everyone’s expectations, even my own.

Somehow though, over the course of the past year and a bit, my weight had surprisingly crept up.  I don’t normally get on the scale, but that fucking annual doctor’s appointment sealed my fate.    It wasn’t like I gained a shit ton, but it was enough to irritate me.

And if you know me, I am sorta anti-diet these days.   It makes me feel like shit inside, it make me feel like shit outside.  It brings up all those unhealthy thoughts and behaviors of pseudo eating disorders from my teens and early twenties and I am so tired of attaching anything about my well being or self worth to the number on a goddamn scale.

And still, I thought to myself last month that maybe if I just made an effort to shed about 20 pounds, it would take some stress off the joints that have been giving me trouble, allowing me to run a little longer and a little faster.   I wasn’t doing it for any reason of vanity or worthiness or any of my usual bullshit.

So, I jumped on the wagon.   I am about 12 pounds down but now this week, despite eating cabbage soup and boiled eggs and all the apples that have ever grown on a fucking tree in the universe, the scale is being a right asshole.  And all of a sudden, I am 17 years old again, and all that matters in getting that number down no matter how hungry and miserable it makes me inside.

Why does that happen?

I just want to run a 10km, Bitches.

To all the humans out there who see someone who is overweight, or underweight, or imperfect in any way, just remember that everyone is trying to be the best human that they are capable of in the moment.  Dieting is such an ugly habit.    I preach all the time about being beautiful in our diversity, that nobody needs to give a shit about what other people think.   And it’s totally true.

But we all have our kryptonite.

Mine is the scale.   It makes me fell weak, and like a failure no matter what it says.   It’s so annoying.

Find your kryptonite and tell it to fuck right off.   Do yourself that favour.   Whether its an object, or a person, or whatever.  It has no business stealing your power.

You are enough. I am enough.

Here’s to a 10km this spring!

ME TOO.

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I’ve been thinking a LOT about the whole #metoo thing.  About Harvey Weinstein.  About so many woman being victimized by men in so many different ways.

About how women are embarrassed about their vaginas.   How we treat it like a dirty word.  How we hide our periods out of shame when it is the very thing that signifies our ability to create life.

And I am so fucking annoyed.

Who gave men all this power and why do they seem to just acquire it for the simple reason that they are male?   What in the hell makes men feel like they get to hold power over us because they do the fucking?

I’ve had just about enough of the culture that has just been so accepted in the world.   Girls are things.   We are prizes to be won.  Objects to acquire.   Pets to control.

Well fuck that.

We owe it to ourselves and to the brave women who came forward to call bullshit on this behaviour to force a change upon the world.

This generation is pretty much fucked I think.  But our kids?    Maybe that’s where our real power lies.   Mothers and Fathers have the ability to teach their kids to be different.. To be better than this.   Behaviours are learned, not bred.   Our kids are watching a diseased dynamic between the adults in their lives and we need to find a cure immediately.

Sons watch the way their parents interact.  They listen to the words that are exchanged and imitate them all the time.   Fathers have an immeasurable responsibility to model to their male children what is respectful and what is not.  Mothers have the same responsibility to teach their sons how love and loyalty and trust is earned, not begotten.

Mothers need to show their daughters that they are not required to please anyone but themselves, and that it is ok to demand better.  And fathers need to show their daughters that love from a man does not come with conditions.  It is not a commodity to be traded.

This isn’t about sex.  Boys will NOT be boys.  Because  *NEWS FLASH* girls like to have sex too.  This is about power.   It’s about immediate gratification.   It’s about greed.  Not all men are predators, but all men have the opportunity to change the status quo.

I’m not sure what counts as being abused or harassed.  I tell a dirty joke like anyone’s business.  I make innuendos with my friends.  We laugh a lot at shit like that.

I do remember being  an 18 year old girl hanging out with a bunch of friends, flirting with a guy, kissing a guy….and then not being interested in going home to bed with him.  And then he lied and told our mutual friends horrible dirty things about me the next day.  What made him think that I deserved to be punished for not giving him what he wanted?   What made me obligated to go home and suck his dick?  And what made him think that showing interest in him was the same as signing a blood contract? That he was then entitled to some sort of gratification?

So yeah.   I guess me too.  You too. Her too. Us too.    Holy Fuck.

But my hope for my daughter is for it to be #notme.  And for my son to be able to say #nother.

And for the assholes in this world to just #fuckoff.

 

 

 

Thank God Justine Damond Was White

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I keep reading all these articles about the Australian woman shot and killed in Minneapolis by police.

And it’s a terrible tragedy.  My heart and condolences go out to the family of Justine Damond.  No parent or spouse or child should ever have to wonder why the fuck a police officer would freak out and shoot their loved one for absolutely no cause.

That’s just it, though, isn’t it?

It’s taken a white woman who had called 911 as a witness to a potential crime getting mistakenly ( or intentionally, who knows) shot by a law enforcement individual sworn to protect her to enrage the community enough that people are losing their jobs.   The Chief of Police has resigned.   People are demanding that the mayor resign.

I guess its a good thing she was white or nobody would give a fuck, eh?

If it had been a black woman it probably would not have even made it in the news, because that fucking happens ALL THE TIME.   We are almost desensitized to it.   Or we make assumptions that she must have reached for a weapon or the officers had reason to fear for their own well being.  They must have been justified somehow.  Or we think that its an honest mistake.

If it had been a black woman we’d just have a bunch of black people from her community holding vigils and protesting.  Grieving their loss and wondering how this could be happening over and over again and then a shit ton of police in riot gear would show up to keep the *peace* that they fucking broke to begin with.

But no.   Thank God for Justine Damond being white.  All it took was for a white woman to be the victim of the very same violence that black citizens have been subject to since forever for the city to be turned upside fucking down. Maybe it opened people’s eyes enough for them to experience the outrage of a human being who has no intention of doing harm getting killed by a trigger happy police force.   Now a white girl got killed so some heads are rolling.   There is an appropriate and much needed reaction happening and real investigations happening into the behaviour and the culture of policing in that city.

And although I’m sure it isn’t any consolation to Justine Diamond’s family, maybe her death will have a purpose. Maybe there will be some justice for her.  Maybe her death will help to change these bullshit scenarios of police violence in the US.

Maybe it will be a step in the right direction.

But I’m not holding my breath.

 

 

Fuckety Fuck Fuck Fuck

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I saw this brilliant piece of art the other day and posted it to my Facebook wall.  And it got me thinking, you know, as shit like this tends to do.

I swear a lot.   It’s worked its way into my vocabulary just as casually as putting on a sweater.  I use the word fuck as an adjective, a noun, a verb, an adverb and pop it into any sentence that needs a little emphasis or colouring.

Now, since I am 100% against assholery, I am able to omit it in certain settings.   I turn it of when working with children or at my bartending job.  But I swear around my own children.  Because its my house and I make the rules here.

I tell my kids that saying “grown up” words is one of those things that you have be a grown up to use.  And that even when you use them, you have to make sure you know your audience.

For example:  Going to a job interview and dropping a couple of f-bombs is probably not in your best interest if you want to land the job.   Colouring a good story with a couple of “fuckins” and “holy shits” at school is probably going to land you in hot water.

But seriously, once you’re a grown up, why does it even fucking matter?   Why is it “profanity”?   Why are people so damn offended by this language?

The world has become an Offend-A-Thon when it comes to petty nonsense like this.   Some Cockbucket decided that swearing is offensive and now we’ve got shit like “no swearing” policies in the workplace.   Seriously?   How about you go and figure out how to do your job and stop monitoring the adjectives coming out of my mouth?   I am 39 years old.   Get a a grip and find something enlightening to share with the world besides your ability to be a completely useless human being.

We live in a place where not everyone has clean running water.   Where women make less money than men for doing the same job with the same qualifications.  Where law enforcement can shoot a man because of assumptions they made due to the colour of his skin.

Where health care isn’t considered a human right.  Where wars rage over oil and religion.  People are starving while some of us throw out extra food.  Children are being exploited and abused.

Shall I go on, or do you get the point?

The point is, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT YOU CUNTS.  All this shit going on in the world and some asshole has time to get all worked about the words coming out of my mouth?   Can we please expend our energy into actually making the world a better place rather than worrying about whether I swore at you?

I’ll make you a deal.   I’ll stop using the word Fuck, when someone finds a way to solve all these Fuckworthy problems in the world.   Stop giving me so much shit to swear about and I’ll clean up my mouth.

In the meantime, I will continue to delight you all with my Mouth of Potty.

Fuck Yeah.

 

 

 

I’m Pretty Sure God Would Rather Have A Heaven Full Of Gays Than The Rest Of The Assholes Out There

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“Gays Belong in Heaven Too” by Maverick Mista Majah P

I’ve been having this fight on the internet with some shitlicker who has declared that gay people, and anyone who supports their rights as human beings are not actually Christians.

Ummm, WHAT?

It was in response to a video that I had posted and a dear friend of mine re-shared about many pastors who had changed their view after careful study of those Scriptures which at first glance seemed to condemn homosexuality, but after deeper thought and insight perhaps were giving a different message.

Now I am no great Bible Scholar. I won’t pretend like I sit by candles every night researching verses and how they apply to me today.  But I do know God’s love.   I know what it feels like to be part of a loving community founded in faith.  I know personally how that affects your life and how thankful I am for a community of people who love and accept each other for what and who they are.  I know what its like to observe and listen to people who demonstrate such grace in their life that it is impossible not to want to be a better human being.

And for me, that is the core of Christianity.  It is building communities of people who love and support one another, instead of trying to out-awesome each other by pointing out all the ways that you fucked up life or broke the rules.

Here’s the thing that is beyond frustrating:  The people that basically don’t believe that folks who are part of the LGBTQ community deserve to be recognized as human beings, let alone be part of a Christian circle get hung up on like 6 verses in the entire Bible that even remotely discuss it.  Its like some golden special rule that cannot possibly be interpreted in any other way that they get all fucking wet about and can’t let it go.

Yet they cherry pick what other rules no longer apply from the Old Testament.   They forget about the ones that tell you not to be greedy, or a dickhead, or what kind of meat you can eat, or how many slaves you can own or how many wives you can have.  Us girls even speak in church now and then, which Paul specifically said is a no-no.   So if all of these laws have evolved to make sense in today’s society, why is the gay thing such a big deal?  Why is that the one law that transcends all time and is not applicable to today’s society where people just love each other regardless of sex, gender identity, race, etc?

You know what I think?   I think Homophobia runs wild in the world still and people who are insecure in their own faith have to find a way to feel superior to others. Its easier to  point out what’s wrong with everybody else so they don’t have to dig in and deal with their own bullshit.  Fear and insecurity are a dangerous combination.  And if you can point out how wrong somebody else is, then you must be right? Right?

Look.  Nobody here gets to determine the validity of another person’s faith or relationship with God.  Unless you’re God.

Anybody out there God?

I didn’t think so.

So the next time any of you bible thumping, self righteous, haters of  love, judgy-judgertons decide who can and can’t be a Christian because of some sort of backwards criteria that you have set do me a favour.

Go find a bag of dicks and beat yourself in the head with them until you realize what your actual fucking job is.  Then go and feed the hungry, give away all your money, and learn what it actually means to love your neighbour as yourself.

And yes.   I am a Sweary Christian.   But trust me, I’m sure God has bigger fish to fry these days than to count the fuck-o-meter on my mouth.   Don’t worry about me….me and God are good.

Guess What? I F*cking Speak French Too, Lady.

Longtime no post.   I KNOW.

But seriously, having contact with other parents in a public setting and their entitled, stuck up little brats have inspired me to pick up my keyboard.

Twice in the last week I have witnessed other peoples children acting like total douchebags at a playground.  Twice in the last week I have had to speak to someone else’s child about their behavior in a public place.   Once, because the parent’s pre-teenish girls were nowhere to be found and their actions were putting the welfare of some wee ones in danger.  Fair enough.  Those kids backed off and despite being totally obnoxious on the swing set realized when they had pushed too far and an adult was taking back the authority on the goddamn playground.  The thing that killed me about that is that the mom of the little one in danger of getting hit with shit being thrown up the slide stood by and was too fucking afraid to say something to a 10 or 12 year old kid.   She thanked me for coming across the playground to fix it but Jesus Christ are we so afraid to be grownups?   Do the kids have all the power?

Well, it would appear as though yes.

Today, while at an indoor play area, this woman showed up with her two kids who were a few years older than mine.  I’d say about 8-10.

She was busy on her phone, trying to book dance classes for her daughter, and shot me an annoyed look because my kids were being noisy.  In a children’s play area and she had to go outside the glass to finish her conversation.   I was already less than enchanted.   It’s a playground lady.   I fuck around on my phone while my kids play too, as long as there is no bullshit and nothing needs my attention, but I don’t try to deal with any business where I have to hear what a human on the other end of the phone is saying.   I’m not a glutton for punishment.

Anyway.

This is a high indoor structure that has netting to hold the kids in should they fall.   It also has netting along the side on a high, double bump slide that goes hella fast.

Well, her kid decided to pull the netting away from beside the slide so that he could get in behind and underneath the slide part of the structure.

And of course, my three year old copied him.

I have a few problems with this.   First, the netting is now not doing its job.   So if a kid gets air and flies to the side, they now literally have no safety net because it is not secured properly.  Second, the staff clearly do not want kids behind there.  Part of the reason it is in place is to keep the kids out.  Third, monkey see, monkey fucking do.  What might be a “safe” behavior for a 10 year old, is not necessarily safe for a 3 year old.

And fourth, and adult just politely asked you to come out from there, and you told her you don’t have to because your mom lets you do it.

So when Ms. Twatwaddle, whose attention I tried to get because I wrongly assumed that she would be interested in asking her child to follow the same rules as every one else FINALLY came back in, she proceeded to not give a shit, because she felt it was “safe”.

When I pointed out that while he might be “safe” but had created a potentially unsafe situation for other kids she also didn’t give a shit.   When I pointed out that her son completely disregarded the request of an adult in the area she also didn’t give a shit.   And then she proceeded to patronize me in French to her child, right in front of me.

Well guess what?   I fucking speak French, and you, ma’am, are everything that’s wrong with the next generation of kids and the way they behave.

I actually don’t give that much of a shit about what happened at the playground.   Kids act like assholes there all the time and it’s part of how they sort out some social skills.

But I felt like she is one of those self entitled bitches who teach their kids that the rules apply to everyone else except for them.  And as a parent, a teacher, and a fellow human being, it makes me really angry.  It’s just another blaring example of how there are never any consequences for anything because the kids are holding all the damn cards.

Sometimes I wish that beating people upside the head with their own genitals was a reasonable reaction to their stupidity.  Until then, I’ll continue to just beat my head against the wall and curse on the internet about it.

 

 

I Used To Try And Drown My Problems In Wine, Now I Just Run Away From Them

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Back in January, I started running.

No, really!

I decided that I was gonna do something for myself this year.    I didn’t book a trip or get my hair done.   I didn’t spend a ridiculous amount of money on a pair of shoes.

I wanted something where I could pursue solitude and independence from all of the other hats I wear on a daily basis.   I wanted to not have to talk to anybody and accomplish some monumental.

Well, monumental for me, that is.

So I decided that I would celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday in October by running a 10km race.

With a bit of encouragement from a dear friend, I quietly started a “Couch to 5km” program that I downloaded from the internet.   It starts you really slow, assuming that you have a zero grade fitness level and builds you up gradually.   The first week you maybe spend about 7 or 8 minutes of a 30 minute workout running.

I posted about my goals and progress on social media to keep myself accountable and make it real.

And let me tell you.  I thought I was gonna puke, faint or even die those first few weeks.   It was awful.  I started googling how high your heart rate was able to go before it literally explodes from your chest.   I had to force myself to get on that treadmill.

And then a few weeks in, it suddenly started to get easier, and I was running for longer periods.   And longer distances.  And all of a sudden, I ran my first 5km.   It had seemed so out of reach and impossible for me, but I fucking did it.

And I’m pretty sure the scale has not budged.  

Despite people commenting about weight I’ve lost……I don’t think I have.

I haven’t been dieting.  Not even a little bit.   I try to eat balanced meals that make me happy and have energy to feel good during my runs.   The things I enjoy.   Losing weight as in fat was never the goal of this.   I was searching to shed the weight of a lifetime battle with body image and a constantly negative conversation that I was having with myself about food.   “You shouldn’t eat that.   Carbs are bad.   That has zero points.  Empty calories. “

After those first few weeks and things started to get easier, I started to feel different about myself.    I’ve always tried to celebrate my curves and preach loving yourself at any size.

But for the first time I actually felt that way inside.

Once I started to get over the number on the scale or on the tag of my pants and concentrate on numbers like kilometers, minutes and heart rate, I gained power over a lifetime of never feeling like I was quite beautiful enough.

Because fuck it.   Now I could do something that I never could before.   I was proud of my body.   I was proud of the strength it’s been gaining.   I was proud to be the size I am and killing those miles every week.  It has been so empowering.

And now when I sit down to eat dinner, I don’t torture myself.   I literally eat what I want, when I’m hungry.    I don’t obsess about calories or fat or shame and then overeat because I am so busy trying to not eat the whole plate that I forget to enjoy what’s there and pay attention to the moment I feel satisfied.

I feel like after a lifetime of struggling with a very unhealthy vision of food, I have found a way to make my peace with it.   By letting go of stupid shit and giving myself permission to love what my body can do no matter what the scale says.

So now I don’t get on it.   I just give it the finger and don’t care.

And its funny, because I have gotten a lot of messages and emails from girls I know or knew or sorta know on social media, asking me how I got started because they want to lose weight.

And I am definitely no guru, and certainly not a fitness expert.   But I am an expert of self loathing, and I can tell you all this:

Once you change the goal from shedding weight to shedding hate, and set a goal that you see yourself achieving, you will succeed at this journey of health and self love.   The scale can’t and won’t give you that.  Just let it go.   Let. It.Go.

It’s amazing how such a simple goal has made such an impact on my whole life.   Find yours Bitches!  Tell me all about it!!

 

 

To All The Sancti-Mommies Out There: Just Don’t.

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Pinterest

So last week I got caught up in an online discussion about ill behaved children in the grocery store.

A super observant, knowledgeable, and childless woman made all sorts of comments about how inappropriate it was for the parents to have tried to control their child’s tantruming by offering a bribe.   Or whatever.  She watched.  She judged.  And then she proclaimed her disapproval on social media like a total cow.

Anyway, the exchange pissed me off.  I am so tired of trying so hard to do right by my kids.  And having what feels like an army of Sancti-Mommies always screaming about how wrong I am for doing/thinking/feeling/trying/asking/wondering the things I am.  Or posting the “how you’ve fucked up your kids for good” article of the day.

And then there’s this new breed of Sancti-Non-Mommies who also want to weigh in on the discussion?   Because they took a few behaviour management courses that one time in University?

No thanks.

Also, fuck you.

So in order to deal with some of my feelings (don’t tell anybody I have feelings or I will cut you) , I have been trolling some of the mommy blogging sites in order to tell some of these bitches to suck it.

Does that make me a terrible person?

Maybe.

Probably.

But here’s the thing:  With the exception of the vaccination debate, where your choice does actually affect those around you I don’t actually give a fuck how you parent your child.

Like, not even a little bit.

What I’m interested in is hearing you share what works for you so that we parents can use each other as a resource when we are out of answers and patience.   Isn’t that what those sites were invented for?

Instead, everybody is Judgy-Judgering one a another and pointing fingers and making all sorts of assumptions about other people.   Throwing out accusations of violence and child abuse if you’ve resorted to spanking or chosen to circumcise your son.   The irreversable psychological damage you’ve done to your child by yelling at them.  How you’ve brain damaged them by allowing them to eat sugar.  Or how your kid will be smarter/healthier/better because you were able to breastfeed and I was just too lazy/selfish/stupid to do the same.

God.  We even get up in one anothers business for what kind of birth they had.

And my problem is not with what choices you make for your child.  My problem is with the choices you make about how you treat other people.  You may always speak to your child in a calm, respectful tone that explains your point of view and outlines your expectations.   You never raise your voice to them and certainly not your hand.   You are parent of the year in every way whose kid eats what’s on their plate, always follows the rules, never cries or tantrums, loves to grocery shop, goes to bed on time, puts their shoes on the first time you ask, cleans the house, walks the dog, all due to your awesomeness as a human being and in spite of the rest of us fuck ups down the street or linked to you on social media.  But when it comes to discussions about managing life as a working parent or disciplining your kids, we are all guilty of being class A bitches to one another.

This is such utter bullshit.  We all work our asses off to make our kids have the best lives possible.   And at some point we have decided that because something in our circumstance works or does not, it suddenly applies to every other human being out there.

IT DOESN”T.

So, to all the Sancti-Mommies out there:

Share your shit, but be realistic.   Be raw.  We can smell your entitled talk and insecurities a mile and a mouse click away.   You are not any better than the rest of us, you are just better at parenting YOUR OWN CHILD than the rest of us.  Stop acting like you have all the answers for everyone.   Stop making ridiculously overly dramatic statements about what another parent has chosen or tried or failed at.  Step off that high horse and let him go and graze in the pasture for a while.  Your burden of arrogance and judgement are too heavy for him to bear.

We. Are. All Doing.The Best.We.Can.

 

 

 

 

Madonna’s Daughter Has Hairy Armpits

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TV3

Omg.

So yesterday, on MSN news, there was an article about Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes looking smashing in a bikini.

Until she has the audacity to flash her unshaven armpits.  I mean, how dare she?   Doesn’t she know that she was being photographed?   Even if the photography was unsolicited, doesn’t she have any self respect?

I mean seriously, how does this fucking bitch live with herself?   How does she sleep at night, knowing what horror she has bestowed upon us, the public who needs to know?   A public who has a fundamental right to know what is going on in the world.

Listen, I get that she was at a beach with her friends, but she is a public figure whether she asked for it or not.   And to blatantly just leave her armpits unshaven for such a long time that we can see it from so far away with a telescopic lens is just not acceptable.   I can’t even believe she did this.

Doesn’t she care about what people think of her?   Doesn’t she care about the example she is leaving for young girls everywhere?   That it is ok for a girl to disrespect her body so much to have hairy armpits and flaunt them in public? HOW DOES SHE GET UP IN THE MORNING?

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people today.   Can’t we just live in a reasonable world where people are considerate of others and cover up their offensive body hair?  I can’t even watch the news anymore.  This is absurd.

 

This post brought to you by the most amount of sarcasm a person can hold in their hearts without exploding.

We have children being attacked with chemical weapons, a scary, complicated, no end in sight conflict in the middle east that seems to be escalating by the day.   An idiotic President of the US.  People constantly harming one another.   A divide between rich and poor that continues to get wider and wider.

Humanitarian crisis ALL OVER the world and THIS is the shit that MSN has deemed newsworthy.   Priorities.   Jesus Fuck.

 

 

AfterOtis

Written by Natalie Oldham

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