I can only imagine how hard the past few weeks have been on my Twee Destroyer. Life changing event? NO problem?
Well sort of. She has changed a lot. Of course, she’s also turned two and been busy growing a new molar, which I am determined to use an the excuses for her new ability to throw an absolute shit fit over the smallest thing out of the blue.
But she’s changed in some other ways too. Her vocabulary has finally started to grow with more real words and less animal sounds, thank God. And she is able to express her sweet loving self in such a way that I feel like I know why people have kids, and then have more kids even when already spent the last so many years sleep deprived and covered in someone elses spit up.
It is indescribable to be loved back so purely by a child. And in those moments of true love, you don’t care about the jam in your hair or the 5000 crayons all over the floor.
The other night I was have a really tough time with Buddy. The kind where he’s screaming, and I’m crying and contemplating my escape route. And little Destroyer looks up from her book that I was unsuccessfully trying to read at bedtime, and strokes my arm. Then she stands up and wraps her arms around me.
How she knew that it was exactly what I needed in order to keep my sanity, I don’t know. But it helped me to realize that infants aren’t infants forever, and the screaming nights won’t last forever. They will eventually turn into that.
Yesterday I handed Buddy over to Daddy and spent a big part of the day just her and I. I needed to care for someone who is able to give back a little more ( no offence Buddy) and we had a really great day together. Shopping, visiting, bike ride and just one on one time. I have really missed her.
Then it happened.
We were playing next door with a tennis ball and the dogs when my daughter dropped to her knees on the pavement and picked the ball up in her fucking mouth. Like a dog.
And I laughed really, really hard. Kids are super retarded sometimes.
I also decided that it meant we need to spend more time with other children. So she knows that she is a child, and not a dog without a tail.
Oh Destroyer of Hearts. You save me from my shit sometimes. My tiny superhero.