A note about Sarah Fischer, feminism and gender parity

“Imagine being a woman in Trudeau’s cabinet and not knowing if it was merit or gender that got you there”

Oh Boy.

Sarah Fischer, the Director of Communications for the Conservative Party of Canada tweeted this the other day. After US President Joe Biden had to embarrass the Conservative members of parliament to stand in recognition of a representative Cabinet in both countries.

Think about that for a second or two.

Done? Let’s unpack.

Women do a real disservice to themselves and all of us with comments like this. Now, some, including Fischer herself would argue that she is saying women don’t need parity measures to be able have actual representation in government or other positions of power. And the truth is, she is simply just wrong about that.

Politics, high level executives, board appointments, public service and medicine are just a few examples where women remain underrepresented. Ensuring that we have gender parity and equal representation is important to setting a new standard where women don’t have to work twice as hard to achieve half as much. Whether Fischer or the Conservative party want to acknowledge that is really irrelevant.

But beyond that, why is this statement, by a woman nonetheless, so utterly infuriating and fucking disappointing?

In my experience some women have this really bad habit of feeling like they need to make others small so that they can stand tall. It’s almost like we are so used to fighting like hell to be recognized as equals for everything that instead of empowering and supporting one another we often tend to minimize other women so that we can shine. It’s ludicrous. Fischer has an opportunity, a platform, and a fucking obligation to pump up other women for their achievements, but instead chose to feed into the misogynistic narrative that causes women to question their value or right to be there.

Keep in mind that this conversation would not even be occurring with men. Not in the same context.

The reality is that despite being equally qualified to do the work they were elected to do, or educated to do outside of politics, workplaces have so many systemic barriers that make it more difficult for women to move in to roles they deserve and should be in. Social norms of women being primary caregivers for children or ageing parents make it challenging for us to network in the same manner men are able to. The removal of those types of barriers and the intentional creation of opportunities that allow women to succeed is not grounds for them to question their merit- it is supporting them through equitable practices that promote a level playing field and equally representative democracy and workforce.

When we have women in public office or appointments that make statements like the one from Fischer, it sets us back. It allows men to retain power by having women continue to question their merit or right to be in their roles. It says to little girls and young women the they just have to continue to sacrifice and fight harder than most, rather than the system having to change. It makes it feel reasonable to continue to pay women less than their male counterparts. It perpetuates the idea that women can only hold positions of high responsibility because they are meeting some quota.

On top of all this, the Conservative Party has 94 male MPs, and only 21 female MPs. Is Fischer and her party trying to say that in the entire candidate pool, the Conservative party was unable to find a more gender diverse list of candidates? That there just simply aren’t an equal number of women with merit to fill those roles, as Fischer’s tweet implies? Compare that to the Liberal party who has 97 male MPs and 57 female MPs with a Cabinet achievig gender parity. Not perfect, but definitely making progress. And yes, those numbers reflect on the party’s decisions to find, nominate and support female candidates. They are out there, I promise you- but it takes a commitment to change the culture of the organization to ensure that equal representation is supported and achieved.

So let me be clear to Sarah. The woman I think that needs to wonder about how she got her job here is HER. The fact that she is the Director of Communications for a federal party and can’t see how this statement poorly reflects on herself, her party and women everywhere should have us questioning her judgement and ability to do her job effectively.

Why Trump Really Cares About Confirming Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, And Why Women Should Be Afraid

I have been watching the circus in the United States that is the confirmation of one of the most controversial nominations in Supreme Court History.  It has also been one of the most blatant displays of partisan mud slinging and grandstanding with a  pinch of rich white male patriarchy on the side.

If you are shaking your head and asking “Why does it have to be HIM?” as I have been doing over the last few weeks, I think there is a lot more to consider here than just whether or not Brett Kavanaugh assaulted anybody.

The temperature of the water since Trump took office has been questionable for women.  Think back to around this time of year, 2016, when the Access Hollywood tapes came out.   The Presidential candidate literally admitted that he freely assaulted women and had the right to do so because he was famous.   He freely admitted that he tried to sleep with a married woman,  indicating a warped moral compass. And what happened?   He got elected about a month later.

Once elected, the Trump administration got busy making sure that healthcare became less accessible to low and middle income  Americans.   He closed Planned Parenthood Clinics, making contraception and pregnancy counselling/termination inaccessible to many women, especially young, poor, and non-white women.  Trump rolled back the birth control mandate which then allowed companies to deny women coverage for birth control as part of their health insurance.

And then he made it his mission to appoint a Supreme Court Justice who would overturn Roe Vs. Wade.

As my husband asked me last night, why does Trump give a fuck about whether or not women can get abortions?   As if he really has some sort of moral objection to it?   It’s pretty obvious to me that his actions indicate that it’s not the morality of it that bothers him. So what, then?

It’s fear.

The Patriarchy is afraid of us.   And if you can retain power over something that scares you, you feel like you can regain control of it.

Trump displays on a regular basis, complete lack of respect towards women.  And I’m not just talking about the disgusting acts of mocking sexual assault survivors at political rallies, or speaking about women as if they are things. His constant dismissal of female media representatives and open taunting and attempts at insulting them during press conferences is almost enough to make you vomit.  The Senate Majority leader issued a statement saying that the reason there has NEVER EVER been a FEMALE Republican Senator on the Judiciary committee (there are only 6 female Republican senators in total) is because it is too much work for a woman to take on.   They have Thursday night meetings, you see.

So, he starts by making birth control less and less available.  He supports a culture where women are assaulted and victims are treated like perpetrators, continuing to influence the idea that women are not in charge of their bodies.   And then…..when there is no body autonomy, and nobody to support women when they are abused, and they are pregnant with no resources, or access to healthcare, and THEN can’t terminate their pregnancies….They won’t be spending their time concerning themselves with all the other political issues because they will be too busy fighting for their rights as human beings all over again.  Or they will be caught up in the traumas of their lives.

It’s meant to suppress us, and has nothing to do with morality.

Brett Kavanaugh is of importance because he will support Republican agendas, including overturning Roe Vs. Wade. It fulfills Trump’s election promise of appointing  Supreme Court Justices that would do so.  His unsuitability to the bench has a lot to do with his obvious partisanship and loyalty to the Republicans.  It has to do with his OBVIOUS lack of impartiality, and undesirable temperament.  It has to do with telling lies under oath, and a fixed race from the very beginning. And yeah…that time he attempted to rape a girl at a party and then lied about that too.

This is a very uncertain and scary time for women in the US. Your rights are hanging by a thread, and it starts here.   If you don’t think other rights that your mothers and grandmothers have fought for are in Jeopardy…..things you have taken for granted for a very long time, think again.  This President’s legacy is based on doing outrageous things that nobody believed could happen again.

I am thankful to live North of the border and to be watching in horror as a spectator, not a participant.  The US heavily influences culture here in Canada, and it is really mind boggling to see people here who support all of these incredulous, jaw dropping events.  It’s sad to see things circulating on social media that mock victims because of what they look like…..”he must be innocent because look how ugly she is” and people trying to reroute the conversation by worrying about men being victims of false accusations.

Men’s rights aren’t in danger here, ladies.   They never were.

Time to wake up.

 

 

This Is Not A Post About Victim Blaming. It’s A Post About Girl Power.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the #metoo movement lately.   Here in Canada, we are not without political scandal.  In the past month we have had our fair share of politicians and influential media people who have been accused of sexual misconduct and left their job or been suspended as a result.

The thing that kills me is the consistency of the feelings the women share.   Nearly every single one of them were in a situation with a man who had power over them of some sort due to a direct boss-employee type of relationship, or the man was in a position to influence their career in some way.

Why does this kill me?    Because I find myself thinking, what girl in her right mind would put herself in that situation?   And what women wouldn’t say  what the actual fuck when some guy randomly whips out his dick and blows a load all over his office floor?   Why wouldn’t you turn down the next round of drinks instead of leaving yourself in a state of impairment that makes you vulnerable?

Well, I guess Margaret Atwood said it best.

Nothing changes instantaneously…..in a gradually heating bathtub, you‘d be boiled to death before you knew it.

The problem is that women, although we have made great advances in terms of choice and lifestyle and rights, have been sitting in that fucking bathtub for so long that we haven’t noticed how hot the water is.   Women feel like they can’t say no.   They feel like they have to accept bad behaviour.  We have been conditioned to tolerate things we don’t like to keep the peace.

We do it in all of our relationships, not just in regards to sexual misconduct in the workplace.  Or out of the workplace.

We are so so fucking worried that we are going to offend someone by being honest about what we want or don’t want.   By asking for what we need and refusing to settle.   We put our own needs last for the sake of others around us.

There is this perception that a woman who stands up for herself is selfish, or a bitch, or just plain difficult.

Well SO WHAT?

Nothing is going to change unless we contribute to that change.  And by contributing, I mean turn the cold water tap on and demand better.   Stop accepting shit because that’s what feels easier in the moment.   It’s not easier.

And it doesn’t mean that men aren’t the ones responsible for this crap.   I just feel like we have put the expectation on men to treat women fairly and respectfully and they have been fucking it up for so long, why are we trusting them to them to fix it?

They are the ones who need to adjust their behaviour, but people do what “works”.  It’s been working for men all this time.  And until every single one of us girls says Oh Hell No every single time and demands to be treated as equals, the bad behaviour will continue.

It’s not a woman’s fault.  It’s never her fault.  But it’s our responsibility to fight for something that is better.   It’s our responsibility to catalyze change for our daughters. Sometimes we just forget that we are powerful enough to say no, and that is the message we need to keep repeating.   We need to hear that we will be supported when we say no, and that can only come from changing the current culture and the imbalance of power.

 

 

Women’s Rights Are Same As Men’s Rights. Also Known As *Rights* You Idiotic POS.

Have you fucking read THIS?

Read it.  From start to finish, including the statement from the US Senate candidate that the article is about.

If you are a Republican, or Trump supporter, or in any way have your head literally stuck so far up your ass that you cannot see what is sitting RIGHT in front of you amidst the smoke and mirrors and self serving propaganda utter bullshit that comes out of the POTUS’s mouth, read this.

If you are a woman, read this.

And then get angry.

Look, women can be homemakers or stay at home parents if they want to.   I have written so many times about the struggle of balancing career and family.  I am of the opinion that if one parent can stay at home or work part time, or you can modify your work life in any way so that your children have the benefit of spending more time with a parent than another caregiver, do that.   I am ALSO of the opinion that those are things that a woman can decide for herself, without the government stepping in and deciding what her fucking role in life is.

There is a lot of pride in staying home with your children.  It’s hard, often thankless work.   It’s emotionally exhausting some days and extremely rewarding the next.   And if you choose and are financially able to make this work for your family, I respect and support that choice.

In no way does that diminish a woman’s right to choose if this is the life she ultimately wants, and in no way does this give men in  Washington, or Ottawa or London or wherever the reigns in making that decision for them.  In no way does this diminish the world’s need for women in top decision making roles for their countries or communities.

It doesn’t make them “career obsessed banshees” and it ALSO doesn’t mean that a man can’t have a home cooked meal at 6:00pm every night, because last time I checked he can cook it his damn self.

Aren’t we past this yet? When are men like Courtland Sykes going to stop thinking that women are around just to make their lives easier? When are men going to realize that women standing up and saying we are not objects or toys or prizes to be won and manipulated doesn’t make us anti men, it makes us anti abuse?

The patriarchy are getting scared, because they want to keep women in the subordinate, supportive roles.   And its really because they know they can’t do it alone and aren’t reasonable and mature enough to share the credit and say thank you.  They want all the credit for everything even though they barely do half the work.  And maybe, they are terrified that they are replaceable by women doing a better job then they are, when the world keeps seeing the same old problems over and over again and perhaps women offer a different perspective and solution.

Oh Hell no, Mr. Sykes.

This is finished, you are right about that.   But it’s not feminism that’s finished.   Every time a man says shit like this you just poured liquid gas on a fire that is rapidly approaching everything you have known for a very long time.   And we are about to burn that shit down.

 

 

 

No Mr.Trump, The Women’s March Wasn’t About The Lowest Female Unemployment In 18 Years

You know, a couple of generations ago, women were struggling to find their place in society.   We struggled to emerge from predominantly being the keepers and managers of our homes and families to join the work force and be accepted more regularly in fields that were saturated with men.  We were struggling with the choice to accept our current roles in the home or to evolve into something more.   Something that equaled our partners.

And then once women were seen more and more in the workforce we struggled with being heard.   With feeling like our ideas and theories and methods were not only as valid as our male counterparts, but perhaps sometimes superior.    And then we struggled to be compensated equally for equal contributions.   And we still struggle with that today.

So no, feminism for me doesn’t have anything to do with how many women hold this office or that office.  It doesn’t have to do with Trump’s claim that we have the lowest female unemployment in 18 years.   We already covered that part of feminism.   We are part of the work force, duh.     Stop taking credit for work begun and accomplished by others.

And no, being able to list a bunch of women that hold office or *high powered* positions in government doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me when overall the percentage of women in US government is only 24.9%, and men outnumber women 2 to 1 as White House aides.    Last time I checked we account for about 50% of the population.  That’s not equal representation, that’s some representation and it still needs work.

So what does feminism mean to me?

It would mean a world where I didn’t have to keep my keys between my knuckles when I walk out side from my campus studio to my car.   It would mean not making a point to look behind me if I hear footsteps so that I can look a would-be attacker in the eye and let them know I saw them.

It would mean not feeling like I should take one of the treadmills that has only a wall behind it, so that when I stretch after a run some guy behind me isn’t watching me bend over.   So he doesn’t think that the reason I am stretching is actually for his benefit.

It would mean not hearing my boss make a hiring decision based on whether or not that girl had a nice smile.

It would mean people not asking me who’s taking care of my children while I’m at work.  Like it’s so hard to fathom that maybe they are with their father, who is an excellent dad and equally competent to watch his own kids.

It would mean being seen for your merits without bias.

It would mean that my daughter never has to fight to be heard or seen or valued.   That nothing but her hard work and merit helps her attain her goals.  That no man would ever fathom to try and take advantage of her.

It would mean that the word *No* is the end of a conversation, rather than the beginning of a negotiation.  It would mean that men would understand that they cannot use force, or threat, or sex to intimidate a woman to get what they want.   And that women don’t feel like their greatest asset to attain what they want is their sexuality.

Because that’s kinda what it comes down to, isn’t it?   Feminism for me, at this moment is most meaningful as a movement to help men understand that they cannot and no longer will try to control a woman and /or her body.   From reproductive rights and care, to sexual misconduct and rape.  And everything in between.

Get away from our vaginas, stay out of our uteri, and get the fuck over our breasts already.   That’s what feminism means for me right now.

So yes, it was a beautiful day for the Women’s March yesterday, Mr. Trump.   Too bad you don’t understand the context of it AT ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still Getting Shit Done

CBC

The other day I came across this post on Twitter ( or something….I honestly can’t remember the source because PARENTHOOD) of a mom who was tandem nursing her 5 week old twins, while working away on a laptop.   She made some sort of remark about being exhausted, not sleeping, barely functioning, but “still getting shit done”.

Well, honey.   Good for you.

I’m happy that she feels like she can get it all done.  A baby on each boob, not even  healed from the physical aspects of birth let alone the hormonal and emotional ones of becoming a mother, and happily working away.

Being ok with feeling like ass, and barely knowing what day of the week it is, and banging out some projects on your computer.

Jesus Christ.   What the hell is wrong with the world?

And no, I’m not shaming her.   If she wants to be a superstar human and do all of those things and is ok with that, then great.  Go for it.  Be the superhero.

I am lucky to live in Canada, where we have maternity benefits for up to one year after the birth of our child.   The first three months are maternity leave, and then the remaining nine months can be split with our partner pretty much any way we like.

Because even if if we can somehow find a way to work through the exhaustion, stay upright, and make sure that everyone is fed and the laundry is done and still get to work on time, why should we have to?  

In the States, many women get 6 weeks or even less of maternity leave.   Sometimes its completely unpaid.

And I can tell you from experience that going back to work 6 weeks after your baby is born is pretty much the biggest pile of shit ever.   Even when the person you are handing over care to is your husband.

As someone who is self employed, my babies were luckily both born in the summer and I went back to work when the school year began. Otherwise I wold have had no income, and no guarantee that my students would come back to me when I was ready to teach again.   It was so hard.   Because even though my husband was the “primary caregiver”  there is something very difficult to describe about the bond between an infant and her mother.   I was still getting up at night regularly.  I was still dealing with post partum anxiety and hormones.  I was still having a hard time with an unstable pelvis from the birth.  And there was nothing about being separated from my baby that made me feel good.

So, I have been in this woman’s shoes, and luckily for me and for her ( she is an artist) we are able to work primarily from home and decide what our ours of work are.

But what if you have a physically demanding job?   What if your career demands long hours?   High pressure?

We need to start taking better care of our mothers, and us mothers need to be ok with being cared for.

So the problem that I had with the woman’s post about “getting shit done”  is the implication that every woman should be able to and that it is completely normal to literally have a baby under each arm while doing your job.   It’s that this mom feels like she has to inspire other women that they can be a badass mom too.

What if they don’t want to be a badass?  What if you just want to be there for your children without feeling like you aren’t strong enough to balance a career alongside it?   What if you just don’t want the superhero to be the expectation of you?

I get it.   I have to work to.   But I will tell you hands down that the first year of a child’s life is mentally and emotionally exhausting and that having to work during it is not in everyone’s best interest.  There were many times that I felt on the edge.   Like on the fucking brink.

The US needs to get its shit together.   The reality is that many families simply cannot survive on one income anymore. I know we can’t.   But no woman should be forced to go back to work before her vagina is even done bleeding after the birth of her baby.   It’s beyond ridiculous.

All of us moms know we can “get shit done”.   Because we do.  But seriously.    You never ever get those weeks and months back.   The work will always be there waiting for you, but you will never ever regret focusing on your kids while they are tiny.   In that first year ( and beyond), I truly believe the only shit we should be getting done is putting ourselves back together while building a relationship with our tiny humans.   Seriously.   Just give us a break.

The bottom line is that women are constantly in this tug of war between career and family.   Much more so than men.   We are constantly having to sacrifice a piece of ourselves.   And usually, as apparent in the Twitter post about getting shit done, it’s the mom herself that is being sacrificed.   Why is it ok to feel exhausted and sleep deprived all the time?   Why is this how we become superheroes?

I guess for me personally, if there are three things on the table:   Myself, my child, or my job; and I need to sacrifice part of something to keep getting shit done, the first two choices should be non negotiable.

That doesn’t make me selfish.   That doesn’t make me a pussy.   And accepting that I should have to sacrifice my own well being is something I am no longer willing to do.   If I don’t take care of me, then the other two things suffer anyway.

So.  Make your own choice.  But ultimately, stop accepting less than you deserve and then cheering about how you can still make it work.   You shouldn’t fucking have to.

International Woman’s Day Is Every Day

Wearing red for IWD 2017

Once upon a time, someone at a press conference asked Joss Whedon why he always writes such strong female characters and created stories about them.   ( not a direct quote, but you get the idea).

After a while he concluded it was because people are still asking him that question.

Do you ever notice that?   Nobody would ask a writer or producer or director why there are strong male characters, we just sorta expect that to happen.

But a strong woman character?   How odd.

Today, on International Woman’s Day, I want to acknowledge every single woman out there who has ever had to work twice as hard to get half as far.  I want to acknowledge every woman who made the tough decision to give up their career in order to raise their family.  The woman who gave up the idea of ever having children because the demands of her male dominated field would never tolerate it, no matter what the law says.

For every woman who has said no and had yes stolen from her.  For every woman who raised a child she never wanted and couldn’t afford but loved regardless while a man had the luxury of walking away.

Every little girl who was told she couldn’t, wouldn’t, and didn’t deserve to anyway.  For the little girl who grew up and said fuck that, and did it better than any man.

For every wife who stood by her partner and made it possible for him to succeed while receiving no credit for it.

For every time you wiped a snotty nose or changed a diaper or made it through another day without crying yourself to sleep from exhaustion and frustration while receiving no thank you for the life you are supporting.

For every minute of childbirth that you endured in order to bring the greatest love of your life into this world.

For every woman who ever looked in the mirror and hated herself.  For putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own.

And for every woman who decided what she wanted and got it.   For inspiring other girls and women to do better for themselves.

For every single woman out there, regardless of your heritage, your colour, your sexuality, your socio-economic status, your age, your education.   Regardless of everything.

You are worth more to this world than the world knows.  

Be strong, be demanding, and never ever back down.   Be resilient.  Be epic.

International Woman’s Day is every fucking day.   Joss Whedon gets that.   Be more like Joss Whedon.

 

That Executive Order Is A Crock Of Shit

Berry College

From Fat Bottom Girl:

Why do so many people feel “feminism” is a terrible word? You know what I think it means? I think it means that I get to choose. I have choices in my life because women who came before me fought for them. I think the woman who chooses to be a stay at home mom might be just as much a feminist as a woman who chooses to work outside the home, and expects to make the same wage a man does for the same job.

I think this nails my feelings about what is going on in America right now, but  abortion has become “THE” topic surrounding feminism, because that is the issue that Team Trump has chosen to resurrect.   I say resurrect because I feel like it that is what has happened….resurrected from its grave of “we already decided about this”.  I feel like in this day and age we should be past talking about it already.

I’ll be perfectly honest with you.  I don’t like abortion.  I feel like there are other options and so many people that would take and care for a child that a young woman in a desperate situation can’t care for herself.   I feel like the morality of such a decision would haunt me forever and that is a price I’m not willing to pay.  I feel like my Christianity prevents me from coming to that conclusion.  I believe, excuse the Walking Dead quote,  ” that all life is precious”.

I was the product of a teen pregnancy.   I could have been an abortion.

For these reasons, I don’t like abortion.

And that, my friends, is a feminist decision.  Because I have the right to weigh my options and question my morality and then do what I feel is best.  I am allowed to make decisions based on my own health and circumstance.   I have access to resources that provide information about those choices.  I have access to health care that will treat complications.

And you, my friends, have the right to use those resources differently.  I cannot assume that what I believe to be right is the only answer for every other woman out there.   I cannot assume that another woman is going to be willing to sacrifice her own body because some rich asshole in a suit and 7 of his friends said she has to.  I support the decisions you make because they are YOURS TO MAKE.  I can confidently say that regardless of my individual stance on the subject, I support a woman’s right to choose this for herself, and don’t judge that decision.

Just like I can support a woman’s decision to practice Islam, and wear a burka, even though I believe in something different.

Yes, I get it that the executive order that was signed yesterday goes back and forth depending what party is in power.   But it feels like so much more than this.   It feels like a response to the millions of women who marched on Saturday to beg that our rights be upheld.  It felt like a counterattack on millions of women standing up and saying that they want and deserve the right to have control over their own bodies.

I don’t like abortion, but I love women.  I love all the girls out there despite what they decide to do with their bodies.   It is a fundamental right and freedom that is being threatened.   No kidding women are mad.

And yeah…..a lot of women voted for Trump.   We have yet to see what kind of President he will be.  But I am worried.

I am worried that because of this presidents fragile ego, he will constantly be attacking any group that shows strength in their unacceptance of tyranny.

I wonder how much money Kellyanne Conway makes in comparison to her male counterparts?  IS that a government standard?  IS it about to change?  IS she ok with that?  IS she ok with having to pay tax on tampons while her male counterparts can go and get Viagra without paying tax?

If President Trump is here to serve all the people ( not just the 63 million that voted for him), he is going to have to start listening to the all the people.  Including the ones he doesn’t agree with.

You can disagree with something and still acknowledge someone’s right to choose it for themselves.

Today Revived Feminism For Me

Eventbrite

I surprised myself today, Bitches.

I’ve never been one for feminism.   I’ve had the experience and luxury of going after the things I want, putting in the work for them, and coming out on top.

I’ve never let a man intimidate me or sexualize me without hitting back harder.   Not one man has ever be allowed to make me feel like he could one up me just because he was a man.

And I guess I’ve taken it for granted.  Granted that most men I know wouldn’t dare to put their hands on me, or verbally demoralize me or fear of the repercussions.  Societal AND immediate consequences from a half batshit crazy little brunette who would just as soon eat you for dinner as listen to your fucking crap.

But today, as I looked at all the photos and footage of women all over the world marching to maintain our rights to be treated as equals I felt myself becoming increasingly emotional.

I never, ever, in a million years thought that I or my friends, or my daughter would have to come together and remind men that they can’t and won’t treat us like crap and get away with it.  That just because the newly inaugurated President of the United States speaks about and to women and any person who is less powerful than he is in a demeaning way doesn’t give others the right to do it.

I never thought that the leader of the free worlds words would inspire law makers and governments to try and silence the words of so many.  I never ever thought that we would see these types of movements again.

I always felt empowered as a woman.

And I felt emotional today because I feel like when women come together to make a change, there is nothing more powerful on this earth.

I have never, ever, EVER been more proud to be a woman than I was today.

Bitches, you got this.   Stand tall, stand proud, stand strong.

And never shut up.  Stay loud.  Get louder.  Push back.

I’m in.

 

It’s Ok To Remember Carrie Fisher As Beautiful Too.

Wikimedia Commons

2016 has been a sad year in terms of iconic people we have lost.  *We* as in the world.

Entertainers, philanthropists, activists, artists, good people who not only used their talents to make us laugh and cry, or sing and dance, but who used the fame from that to try and make this world less shitty.

This week we have all been shocked by the unexpected death of everyone’s favourite princess. Carrie Fisher was one of those unforgettable faces and actresses who were timeless.

So, this morning while reading the news online, I came across this article on msn.com  about how New York magazine got their tits in a knot when Steve Martin commented how Carrie Fisher was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen when he was young.

They went on to comment about how she would rather be remembered for her talents blah blah blah blah.

I call bullshit.

Is that what feminism is?  Disallowing any comment about a woman’s beauty?   What a bunch of double standard, hypocritical crap.   How many beauty ads are gracing the pages of every single magazine, online article or newspaper?

Look.  I agree.  Carrie Fisher’s contribution to this world far exceeds the iconic image of her kicking Jabba the Hut’s ass while wearing that gold bikini, but it doesn’t mean that isn’t a part of who she was.  Steve Martin was commenting on how that image of her was imprinted on him as a young man.  It’s one of the most recognizable images of movie history.  Just because he acknowledges that it made an impression on him doesn’t take anything away from her.   It’s his memory, and he just shared it.

For God’s sake people.  Has feminism come so far that to call a woman beautiful and to say that it is memorable is insulting?

Give me a fucking break.

For good or bad, that image of Carrie is part of who she is, and part of what allowed her to become the advocate for addiction and mental health that she did.  I’d like to think that she would like to be remembered for all of that.  I’d like to think that she would want to be remembered as a woman who was able to embrace this world, that likely emphasizes too much on physical beauty and use it for great things.   She WAS beautiful.  It’s not insulting or taking anything else away from her to say so.

Calm the fuck down.