V is for Vagina.

All right, Bitches.  Are you ready for this?  This may be a return to Hot On The Titties, even though it’s Thursday.  Saddle up.

I think feminism is bullshit.  Most specifically, our perception of ourselves and our power is all fucked up.  We don’t need affirmative action and all that shit.  We just need to unite as women and accept ourselves as we are.

You know why?  Because the main thing that holds women back is other women.  Men can be easily controlled by a vagina.  They can be controlled by the thought that they might get to see your vagina.  Or touch it or….well, you get the point.

You don’t have to actually sell yourself out.  You just have to let them think that you might, and bingo-bango.  You’re in charge.

Anybody out there watching Game of Thrones?  Of course you are.  And anybody watching Game of Thrones knows that even though the men wear the crowns ( except for Daenerys) their scepters might as well be shaped like a giant set of labia on a stick.  Because it’s the women that do all the manipulating and scheming and are actually in charge of this shit.  They hold the power between their legs.
Do you ever wonder why men rape women?  I highly doubt it has anything to do with sex.  It has everything to do with power. It robs someone of their power, and that’s what makes it so horrible.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how anytime I’ve ever had a conflict in the workplace, it has involved another woman.  And when it hasn’t, I can usually get a man to come around simply by the fact that I am the proud owner of a magnificent set of boobs.

Does that make me an asshole?

Probably. But I kinda don’t care.  Because I can get my own way most of the time just by using all my available resources.  I mean come on.  Look at all the female superheroes.  They are all super oversexed.  Because the key to their power is in their sexuality.

The funny thing is, I am actually a highly educated, reasonable person.  I work hard and am good at what I do.  I just have no shame in using the power of being a woman to my fullest advantage.  Do the other things things fall by the wayside?  Of course not.

I’m just saying:  “Ladies.  Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”    Don’t look down on another girl because she’s pretty AND smart and is able to use both qualities to her advantage.

I don’t think any of this is anything new.  I think women have been the powerful sex since the beginning of time.  Men may be physically more powerful, but we hold the puppet strings. And we’ve done so by wielding our secret weapon.

Can I get V?

Destroyer the Hero

http://www.rookiemoms.com
This is not Destroyer, FYI.

I can only imagine how hard the past few weeks have been on my Twee Destroyer.  Life changing event?  NO problem?

Well sort of.  She has changed a lot.  Of course, she’s also turned two and been busy growing a new molar, which I am determined to use an the excuses for her new ability to throw an absolute shit fit over the smallest thing out of the blue.

But she’s changed in some other ways too.  Her vocabulary has finally started to grow with more real words and less animal sounds, thank God.  And she is able to express her sweet loving self in such a way that I feel like I know why people have kids, and then have more kids even when already spent the last so many years sleep deprived and covered in someone elses spit up.

It is indescribable to be loved back so purely by a child.  And in those moments of true love, you don’t care about the jam in your hair or the 5000 crayons all over the floor.

The other night I was have a really tough time with Buddy.  The kind where he’s screaming, and I’m crying and contemplating my escape route.  And little Destroyer looks up from her book that I was unsuccessfully trying to read at bedtime, and strokes my arm.  Then she stands up and wraps her arms around me.

How she knew that it was exactly what I needed in order to keep my sanity, I don’t know.  But it helped me to realize that infants aren’t infants forever, and the screaming nights won’t last forever.  They will eventually turn into that.

Yesterday I handed Buddy over to Daddy and spent a big part of the day just her and I.  I needed to care for someone who is able to give back a little more ( no offence Buddy) and we had a really great day together.  Shopping, visiting, bike ride and just one on one time.   I have really missed her.

Then it happened.

We were playing next door with a tennis ball and the dogs when my daughter dropped to her knees on the pavement and picked the ball up in her fucking mouth.  Like a dog.

And I laughed really, really hard.  Kids are super retarded sometimes.

I also decided that it meant we need to spend more time with other children.  So she knows that she is a child, and not a dog without a tail.

Oh Destroyer of Hearts.  You save me from my shit sometimes.  My tiny superhero.